


as many times as it takes

by ailurea



Series: as many times as it takes [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Background Axca/Original Male Character, Background Original Female Character/Original Female Character - Freeform, Background Shiro/Curtis, Happy Ending, Identity Crises, Kid Fic, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mostly Canon Compliant, Mutual Pining, Season 8 Spoilers, shiro centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-13 10:06:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 44,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16890516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ailurea/pseuds/ailurea
Summary: Twelve years ago, Shiro woke up on an unknown planet, cold and alone and so very far from Earth. By the time Keith arrives to bring him home, so much has changed. Shiro realizes that there's a lot about Keith that he doesn't know anymore.And, as it turns out, there's a lot about himself that he didn't know, either.----(Warning: Contains spoilers for Season 8.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My NaNoWriMo project is finally seeing the light of day! Thanks as always to [allie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/artenon/pseuds/artenon) for the quick beta work!  
> (All chapters will be published by next week, before Season 8 comes out.)

“Happy birthday, Shiro!”  
  
Arms wrapping tightly around him made Shiro drop the piece of salad he was holding. He craned his neck to see Pyrika standing over him, grinning and wiggling her furry ears. M’hille stood behind her, blue scales glistening in the afternoon suns.  
  
“How’s my favorite child on his twelfth birthday?”  
  
Shiro laughed. “We may not know how Earth years translate to Valnexian, but you are definitely not old enough to be calling me that.”  
  
“Don’t speak that way to your mother!” Pyrika planted herself in the seat across from him. M’hille sat down between them with far more grace.  
  
The chairs in the teachers’ lounge at the Valnexian Space Academy weren’t the most comfortable, but it was a convenient place for them to meet up between Shiro and M’hille’s classes and Pyrika’s work in the capitol building a few blocks away.  
  
“On this day, twelve long years ago, I found you in the ground and raised you with my own two hands,” Pyrika went on. “Tell him, babe.”  
  
“I’m not sure any of that was accurate,” M’hille said as she laid out lunch boxes between the both of them. They were eating noodles. The Valnexian term was untranslatable and unpronounceable to Shiro, but he knew they were made from some pink, rice-like grain abundant in this part of Valnexia because he was reminded every time the word “noodles” left his mouth.  
  
(Apparently “noodles” in Earth Standard translated to an altogether different thing in Valnexia, and the superiority of the pink noodles over “noodles” was a topic of great contention. It was somewhat comforting to know that oddly pointless things being hot-button issues was a universal constant.)  
  
“To be fair, I did land here twelve years ago,” Shiro said, although he wouldn’t consider it a cause for celebration. Twelve years here meant yet another year of him failing to return home. Twelve years here meant an unknown amount of time spinning by on Earth.  
  
Shiro was doing what he could to push Valnexia’s space flight program to its limits, but sometimes he wished he had more talent for engineering.  
  
Still, even if Valnexia managed to achieve intergalactic travel in his lifetime and he somehow made his way back, Shiro knew there wasn’t any guarantee that it would be the Earth he remembered. He could already be a distant memory, lost to space and time.  
  
It was impossible not to think of Keith, and how the simple words _I’ll come back to you_ he said before departing for Kerberos became a promise broken over and over and over. Every anniversary of his arrival on this planet was a stark reminder of it.  
  
But there was another promise he had made—  
  
_I will never give up on you._  
  
And he hadn’t. It was a selfish twisting of the words, he knew, but if anyone could make it out here and find him, it was Keith. But it might have been years—decades, even—back on Earth. The unselfish part of him hoped that Keith had accepted his death this time and moved on. The selfish part of him longed to one day see a ship blazing through the atmosphere and to know that it was Keith—to go to him and say, once again, _you saved me._  
  
“You’ve upset him,” M’hille said, lowly, stirring Shiro out of his reminiscence.  
  
“It’s fine.” Shiro picked at his salad again.  
  
“Okay, new topic!” Pyrika said. “I haven’t seen Vel in weeks, Shiro! Tell me I can come hang out tonight. She wants to spend time with her favorite auntie, right?”  
  
Shiro sighed at the mention of his daughter. “She’s not really interested in spending time with anyone right now. Maybe she’ll make an exception for you. If not, it’s only a few weeks until break and I think she’ll be in a better mood then.”  
  
“Kids at school still giving her a hard time?”  
  
“It was easier when they were younger.” Shiro picked at his salad, tearing a leaf in half with his fingers. “Then they were all just kids. Now they’re old enough to pick up on why it matters to their parents that she’s part Galra.”  
  
“Centuries of oppression are not easily forgotten,” M’hille said, posture stiff. Pyrika took her hand. “Valnexia has yet to achieve even a decade of freedom in comparison.”  
  
“I’m not saying that they can’t hate the Galra who did this to them.” Shiro was careful to make the distinction. “But it’s not fair to punish Vel for being born Galra.”  
  
M’hille deflated. “I know it isn’t fair, but their behavior is understandable.”  
  
Pyrika looked between the both of them. “I am really not picking the best topics of conversation today. M’hille, you go.”  
  
M’hille had just placed a blob of pink noodles into her mouth and she stared pointedly at Pyrika as she finished chewing and swallowing. She turned to Shiro. “How is the end of the term going?”  
  
“Pretty well, just a lot of time in the sims while everyone’s practicing for finals. The students are all really great this term,” he said. “I think we can look forward to a lot of good pilots graduating soon. How’s the Flight Basics group?”  
  
M’hille grimaced. “All right. I think some of them won’t continue. I’m worried I discouraged them. You’re a much better teacher than I am.”  
  
“I just have more experience. This is only your second time teaching by yourself. You’ll get better.”  
  
“Yeah, come on, M’hille, you can’t compare yourself to the guy running the whole flight program.” Pyrika nuzzled her cheek, fur brushing scales. “Give yourself a break.”  
  
“I will have a break,” M’hille said, “for one month after finals, until the next term starts.”  
  
Pyrika rolled her eyes. “Not what I meant.”  
  
Shiro’s communicator started beeping from the middle of the table where he had set it down before lunch. They all looked to see the name _Melnor_ flashing on the screen.  
  
Pyrika picked it up on speaker. “What’s up?”  
  
There was a long pause from the other side. Then a gruff, “Didn’t I call Shiro?”  
  
“It’s our weekly lunch date! Come on, don’t you have our calendars memorized by now?”  
  
There was another pause. “Never mind. I was going to call you next, anyways. Is M’hille with you too?”  
  
“Of course!”  
  
“Here’s the situation,” Melnor said. “Our satellites have picked up two ships entering the edge of the system, advancing fast. They’re small, fighter class. I don’t recognize the exact model, but I suspect they’re Galra. You three are the best pilots we have. I want you to engage contact and use your best judgment. Shiro, I hate to ask this of you since you have Vel to think of, but if they are dangerous you’re our best chance of stopping them.”  
  
“I understand,” Shiro said. Without his life at stake, millions more would be—including Vel’s.  
  
“Thank you,” Melnor said, the relief clear in his voice. “I’ll call Vel’s school, let them know you might be running late.  
  
“All right.” Shiro glanced at Pyrika and M’hille. They were already clearing away the remnants of their lunches. “We’re on our way.”  
  
\----  
  
The Space Academy, like the Galaxy Garrison on Earth, was the training grounds for everyone who one day dreamed of becoming part of the Valnexian Space Agency, whether they were pilots, engineers, scientists, or others. It was on the site of the VSA headquarters, making it a short run from the teachers’ lounge to the primary hangar where the fighter ships were kept.  
  
Shiro’s was always easy to spot—it was painted a bright cherry red. It wasn’t the most subtle of ships, but subtlety was perhaps the last thing Valnexia had to worry about.  
  
When Melnor offered a custom paint job, Shiro had requested black out of a sense of nostalgia, but it was red when they build team was finished with it and once Shiro saw it he couldn’t bear to change it. There was a much different sense of nostalgia he experienced every time he saw it—the color brought a name to the tip of his tongue that he couldn’t bear to say out loud.  
  
He stroked the cherry red hull in greeting before climbing the ladder and sliding into the cockpit.  
  
“You think they’re dangerous?” M’hille asked over their commlink as they strapped in and started running their preflight checks. Her voice was tinny as it echoed in Shiro’s helmet.  
  
“They might not be,” Shiro said. There was another name he hesitated to say, for fear of raising hope where there was none—another group that would have reason to be flying Galra ships in deep space. “Just be careful. If things get hot, fall back.”  
  
“I don’t know if I should be excited or afraid,” Pyrika said. Whatever emotion she was feeling, her voice was vibrating from it.  
  
“Probably afraid,” M’hille said.  
  
Their fight to free Valnexia from Galra control was on land, not space, and this could be their first real battle while piloting their fighters. Shiro didn’t blame them for their nervousness.  
  
“You’re both great pilots,” Shiro said. “Remember the basics, and don’t rush through anything. Patience yields focus.”  
  
They said the last sentence with him, and he frowned. “I don’t say that phrase that much, do I?”  
  
“You kind of do,” Pyrika said. “But it’s cute, so don’t worry about it.”  
  
The screen on Shiro’s fighter lit up to indicate that all systems were ready.  
  
“You’ll both be fine,” Shiro said. “After me.” He taxied his ship to the runway and checked to make sure Pyrika and M’hille were flanking him before he took off, bursting through the layers of Valnexian atmosphere and into space.  
  
As always, being so close to the stars sent a little thrill through his system. He’d seen them many times by now, but not so long ago he was just a boy with a sickness and a dream that everyone was telling him was impossible. He was so beyond the realm of all he’d ever dreamed of that he would laugh if it weren’t so depressing.  
  
After all, the first stars he ever felt close to touching were from Earth. He wasn’t sure he would ever get to see those stars again.  
  
His sensors pinged, indicating that Pyrika and M’hille had arrived, and Shiro snapped back into focus. He pulled up the long-range satellite readings that were being broadcast from the VSA.  
  
“They’re moving in fast,” Shiro said. “We’re going to meet them just beyond the planet’s shielding. I’ll open communications first and we’ll see what happens. We hope they’re friendly, but if they’re not, we’ve trained for this, and I have total faith in the both of you. You’re the ones I trust the most to be out here with me. Do not fire unless they do first. Prioritize evasive maneuvers. Our engineers have focused on the shielding, a few hits aren’t going to takes us down.”  
  
“Got it, boss!” Pyrika said.  
  
“Okay,” M’hille said, sounding far more stressed.  
  
“Okay,” Shiro repeated. “Let’s go.”  
  
It didn’t take them long to get within communications range of the alien fighters. They didn’t look familiar to Shiro—they certainly didn’t look anything like the Empire's fighters that he had gotten used to seeing—but he supposed that being a former agent of the Empire himself, Melnor knew quite a bit more about what Galra ships looked like. These ships were very understated, in a way—narrow and black to blend in with the vacuum of space, with streaks of bluish-purple lights.  
  
“Wow.” Pyrika’s voice was low and impressed. “Those are some sexy ships.”  
  
“They're shiny,” M'hille said. “I don't know about sexy.”  
  
“They're sleek,” Shiro said. In a sexy way, he admitted. “Hang tight, I’m going to hail them.” He opened a channel on the standard public frequency. “You’ve entered Valnexian space. Identify yourselves.”  
  
There was a long silence.  
  
“What are we going to do if they just give us the silent treatment?” Pyrika said over their private link.  
  
“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that,” Shiro said. He switched back to the public frequency. “I repeat, you’ve entered Valnexian space. Identify yourselves, or we will be forced to consider you hostile.”  
  
“Shiro?” a voice finally said, crackly over the connection.  
  
“Um, did they just say your name?” Pyrika said.  
  
The voice was male and deep—deeper than Shiro remembered, but familiar enough to fan a flame of hope that Shiro had kept carefully, quietly alive. That voice, and those Galra ships, and the fact that he recognized Shiro by just a few sentences—  
  
“Keith?”  
  
“What is happening,” M’hille whispered.  
  
“I don’t understand,” Keith’s voice—and it really was Keith’s voice; Shiro could hear it in his tone and his timbre, and he clenched the steering stick of his ship tighter. Keith was here, in Valnexian space. But it didn’t sound like Keith was looking for him, specifically.  
  
“What are you doing out here?” Shiro said.  
  
“What am I doing?” Keith repeated, his voice getting higher. “What are you doing?” A quick pause, then, “Never mind, we should have this conversation somewhere on the ground. You’re… representing Valnexia? We have a group of Valnexians who were sent to the Galra Empire’s work camps in other systems and they’ve been waiting to come home. If you’re out here, I’m assuming the Galra occupation of Valnexia is over. We’d like to come down to the planet and look at the situation, talk to whatever government’s in place. If everything’s good, we’ll call the transport over. We’ll also pick up anyone transplanted to Valnexia who wants to go home.”  
  
Shiro looked reflexively towards M’hille’s ship.  
  
“Sounds too good to be true,” M’hille said, voice quiet and toneless. Shiro understood her not wanting to get her hopes up, but this was Keith—Shiro’s hopes were already as high as could be. “You trust them, Shiro?”  
  
“With my life,” Shiro said. “Do you trust me?”  
  
“You know we do,” Pyrika said.  
  
Shiro took a deep breath and switched to public again. “All right. We’ll take you to Valnexia.”  
  
\----  
  
Shiro led the way back, with Pyrika and M’hille bringing up the rear in a defensive position. They made their way back to Valnexia in silent thought, only interrupted by Shiro sending a brief update to Melnor when they were back in communications range with the planet.  
  
When they arrived, Melnor was waiting for them on the ground by the landing pad, alone.  
  
Shiro gave him a short salute as he climbed out of the cockpit, but was quickly distracted by the Galra ships landing beside him, and the figures emerging from them. They were both wearing what Shiro remembered to be the Blade of Marmora uniform, but without the hood. His eyes instantly locked on Keith, because he still couldn’t quite believe it—  
  
It was Keith.  
  
It was really Keith.  
  
He was different, of course; it had been years, though Shiro couldn’t quite tell how many. He was taller. His shoulders and chest were broader. The softness in his face had narrowed to a long jaw and sharp angles. He had fully embraced long hair, and it hung in a thick braid over one shoulder.  
  
And he looked Galra. His skin was undeniably lilac, a marking streaked across his face; his eyes were yellow with slitted pupils. His fingers looked pointed at the tip underneath his gloves. His hair had a dark purple sheen in the afternoon light.  
  
And he was the most beautiful sight Shiro had ever seen.  
  
“Keith,” Shiro said, and he was before him before he knew it, his arms wrapped around Keith and squeezing to make sure he wasn’t a hallucination. His chest was tight, but he wasn’t sure if he felt like laughing or crying. “I’ve missed you so much. I thought I'd never see you again."  
  
Keith had frozen in shock, but his arms eventually crept up to hug Shiro tightly in return. He exhaled shakily and pulled back after a moment, though he stayed in Shiro’s arms. His eyes flicked all over Shiro's body—taking stock, Shiro knew, of all the changes he saw there.  
  
Shiro had been surprised himself, when he first woke up on Valnexia.  
  
It was hard not to notice how his hair was once again all black, and tied up in a long ponytail—cutting human hair wasn’t exactly a common Valnexian skill, and Shiro wasn't going to deal with short hair himself. It was even harder to ignore how Shiro had regrown an arm. He hadn’t quite figured that one out himself.  
  
“How long have you been here?” Keith’s eyebrows were furrowed, and his voice was low and rough. he sounded like he did every time he was told he broke one of Shiro’s records back at the Garrison—like he couldn’t quite believe it. Like he almost didn’t want to believe it.  
  
“I’m not sure,” Shiro said. “I think this planet's orbit is faster than Earth's. It's just been twelve years. How long has it been since... since I went missing?"  
  
Keith paused in thought for longer than Shiro expected. “Ten years.”  
  
Shiro's heart sunk. Any amount of time was longer than he wanted, but an entire decade was a lot longer than he had hoped. Everything would be different now; everyone would have moved on. Even Keith had lost track of the amount of time he’d been gone.  
  
Would there be a place left for him in anyone’s life? In Keith’s?  
  
But Keith was here now, at least, looking at him with wide, worried eyes. “How did you get here?”  
  
“I’m not sure, I just woke up here one day in a cryopod,” Shiro said. His memories around the time were vague, but there was something about a battle that he thought could have led to it. “I was hoping one of you would be able to tell me." His grip on Keith's arms tightened. “If we ever saw each other again, that is.”  
  
Keith's eyes darted between Shiro and everyone else on the landing pad—Pyrika, M’hille, Melnor, and finally his companion, who Shiro realized was Lotor’s former general, Acxa. Shiro wasn’t an expert on her mannerisms, but she didn’t look very happy to see him.  
  
“We should talk,” Keith said, looking back at Shiro with an oddly grim expression, “but let’s finish our business for now.” He turned back to his ship. “Come on,” he said, and a hulking lump of black and blue fur scrambled out, sticking close to Keith’s leg.  
  
The space wolf, Shiro noted, had grown much bigger as well. He didn’t think it was possible.  
  
They rejoined the others farther down the landing pad. Shiro wanted to just tell Melnor he trusted Keith and to let him do whatever he wanted, but it wouldn't be setting a good precedent, so he started by making introductions. “This is Pyrika and M’hille, the other two pilots you saw with me. Pyrika’s main job is keeping Valnexia running, so you’ll probably be working with her a lot. And this is Melnor. He’s in charge of military operations.”  
  
“You’re Galra.” Acxa seemed surprised.  
  
“As are you,” Melnor said, sounding extremely bland.  
  
“Melnor was key in helping the rebellion succeed,” Pyrika said, “and he has much more experience with military and spacefleet operations at scale. It only made sense for us to ask for his help.”  
  
“I see,” Acxa said, but she still looked discomfited. Shiro imagined it wasn’t common to see the oppressor having power over the oppressed after rebellion.  
  
“I’m Keith. This is Acxa.” Keith gestured to her as he introduced her. “We're part of the Blade of Marmora. We were a resistance group during the war, but we’ve been helping planets with recovery and relocation since then.”  
  
Melnor hesitated. “So the Galra Empire…”  
  
“It’s over,” Acxa said.  
  
“I see.” Melnor was visibly taken aback by the news, but recovered quickly. “Shiro mentioned something about transporting Valnexians.”  
  
“Prisoners of the Empire, sent to other systems,” Keith said. “They want to come home, if they can. We were told there were work camps here, as well, but I assume they’ve been disbanded. If there’s anyone here who wants to go home, we can help with that.”  
  
“And why should we trust you?” Melnor said.  
  
“We have videos from some of the Valnexians looking to come back. Messages to friends and family,” Keith said.  
  
“That’s proof you have them,” Melnor said. “Not proof you’ll bring them.”  
  
“I’ll vouch for him,” Shiro said, then remembered Acxa. “Them.”  
  
Acxa’s eyes narrowed slightly. He was clearly not winning any points with her.  
  
“You’ve been here for a long time, Shiro,” Melnor said. “People change. They’re asking to bring a ship full of unknown people to this planet. How can we be sure it’s not an invasion? That they won’t be a threat to everyone here? To Velnar?”  
  
That was a low blow, and the guilty look Melnor gave him told Shiro that he knew it.  
  
Keith looked to Shiro, frowning, and looking somewhat resigned. Keith turned to Melnor again. “Have you heard of Voltron? Seen it?”  
  
Melnor hesitated, confusion clear in his eyes as he looked at Shiro. “Ah… there was a show—“  
  
Shiro had never been more embarrassed in Melnor’s presence. The thought of Melnor watching him in that show that must not be named was unbearable. Keith, who never actually had to participate, looked on in amusement.  
  
“That’s good enough.” He drew back his hand, and the black bayard formed in it. Shiro felt a rush of heat flood him—both at the memories that the bayard brought back, and also the easy power with which Keith wielded it. He really had grown a lot.  
  
“You’re—” Melnor gaped at it. “But I thought Shiro was?”  
  
“Shiro died,” Keith said, looking straight at Shiro as he said it. His voice was so, so soft. He turned back to Melnor. “Or, we thought he did. Wouldn’t be the last time we made that mistake. I was the Red Paladin.”  
  
“But in the show—”  
  
“Please don’t talk about the show,” Shiro said. His voice sounded weak to his own ears. “Keith was with the Blade of Marmora at the time.”  
  
Pyrika had been looking between Shiro and Keith as they talked and picking at her tail in thought. “So you knew each other when you were both Paladins?”  
  
“And a few years before,” Shiro said, “back when we were on Earth.”  
  
“I thought you said the Galra hadn’t made it to Earth,” M’hille said, sounding wary.  
  
“Shiro wasn’t lying. I’m half human. I didn’t know I was Galra when we met,” Keith said, and then his skin started to—melt wasn’t exactly the right word for it, but it seemed like it, the lilac blending back into the peachy hue that Shiro more often associated him with. The yellow in his eyes turned white, and his pupils expanded and filled with a familiar purple-grey. The points on his fingers retracted, making his hands look human again.  
  
And suddenly all of him looked human again, and Shiro was struck by an intense longing for home.  
  
“That,” Pyrika said, “is fucking awesome. Are humans shapeshifters? I’ve never seen you do that.” She turned to Shiro, and from the expression on her face Shiro could tell that she was fully expecting him to begin sprouting extra limbs.  
  
“It’s not a human thing,” he said. “Sorry to disappoint.”  
  
“My mom is Galra-Altean.” Keith drew the outline of a pointy shape over his ear with one finger. Like Lotor, then. “She can’t really shift, but we think because my dad was human it makes it easier for me to.”  
  
“I have so many questions,” Pyrika said. “First of all—”  
  
“We’ll have time for questions later,” Acxa said, “presuming that there is a later.” She looked to Melnor pointedly.  
  
There was a silence as all of them turned to Melnor and waited for his response.  
  
Melnor looked slowly between Shiro and Keith and the black bayard that still rested in Keith’s hands.  
  
“All right,” he said, finally. “Let’s talk.”


	2. Chapter 2

The transport ship would arrive in two months. Keith and Acxa had a list of all the passengers who would be on board. Pyrika agreed to work with them over the next two months to make sure that all the incoming Valnexians had a place to stay, and to organize logistics for everyone on Valnexia who wanted to leave.  
  
Shiro was ready to return to Earth, but he realized that with Vel the situation was a bit more complicated than before. He didn’t know if she would be ready to leave her homeworld behind in exchange for his; and he didn’t know if he would be willing to leave her behind, either.  
  
It was something he would have to think about soon, but maybe not right now.  
  
Shiro stepped out of Melnor’s office while Keith went over the timeline in excruciating detail for Melnor and Pyrika. From the sound of it, it wasn’t his first time handling these kinds of logistics. Shiro intended to call Vel’s school to check on her, but Acxa followed him out, arms crossed and with a determined expression on her face, so he stopped to face her.  
  
“So,” she said, with forced casualness. “Ten years, huh? What have you been up to here?”  
  
“Shiro helped lead the fight against the Galra to shut down the work camps and free me and hundreds of other people,” M’hille said from behind Acxa. “He's been helping us get our lives back, and working to develop the space program so that if help didn't come we could still have some hope of returning home.”  
  
She stepped fully into the hallway, Pyrika behind her. Her tone was defensive, more than Shiro thought was warranted. It was true that Acxa seemed unhappy at Shiro’s general existence, but she sounded more curious than accusing.  
  
Acxa didn’t rise to the bait. “That sounds like what I would have expected from Shiro,” she said, her smile a bit wry.  
  
“I also knew Acxa from before,” Shiro said. “She just wanted to know what’s been going on.”  
  
M’hille still looked uncertain, but Pyrika prodded her along. “We were just heading out. Keith and Melnor are finishing up too. We’ll see you tomorrow, Shiro.”  
  
Acxa frowned after their backs.  
  
“How long have you all been doing this?” Shiro said, nodding toward the room where Keith and Melnor were still talking.  
  
Acxa turned to him. “The effort began soon after the war ended, but Keith was helping with rebuilding efforts on Earth and was only involved with logistics. He formed this team three Earth years ago, and we’ve been out here since.”  
  
“For three years? He hasn't been back to Earth?”  
  
Acxa studied Shiro’s face. It was unsettling, mostly because he couldn’t read her expression at all. Finally, she said, “I believe he feels there isn't much waiting for him there.”  
  
“I see.” Shiro's heart skipped a beat, and he wasn’t sure if it was in pain that Keith didn’t feel like he had a home on Earth, or from something else—some deep visceral heartache for the fact that Keith hadn’t given up on him.  
  
“He’ll be returning soon, though,” Acxa said. “After this trip he’s planned a rendezvous to Blades headquarters where we’ll pick up his relief before he heads back.”  
  
“Why now?”  
  
“It’s the five-year anniversary of the end of the war.” Acxa said. “Given that it ended on Earth, the Voltron Coalition has seen fit to throw a party there. For obvious reasons, they expect Keith to attend.”  
  
From her tone, it seemed implied that Keith didn’t actually want to go. Shiro wasn’t surprised by that. Parties had never been Keith’s thing; public appearances even less so. He was, however, surprised by the fact that it would soon be five years after the war ended.  
  
Had it really taken another five years after he disappeared for everything to be over? What had Voltron had to deal with in the next five years?  
  
Before he could ask, Keith and Melnor emerged from the office, the space wolf trailing behind them. Keith looked between Shiro and Acxa. Whatever he saw there made him frown at Acxa, but all he said was, “We’re done for now. We’ll reconvene tomorrow with a larger group that Pyrika’s putting together.”  
  
“Thank you for your time,” Acxa said to Melnor. “Do you mind if we move our ships into your hangar? If that’s a problem, we’re fine to keep them in low power orbit above the planet.”  
  
“Keep them in—“ Melnor seemed confused. “Do you mean to stay on your ships?”  
  
“We realize your planet is still recovering,” Acxa said. “We wouldn’t want to be a burden on your resources.”  
  
“We’ve basically spent the past few years in our ships,” Keith said. “It’s not a big deal.”  
  
Shiro frowned. The whole situation seemed worse than he thought.  
  
“We have available apartments,” Melnor said. “I imagine some of them will go to the Valnexians, once they arrive, but you are free to stay in them for the time being.”  
  
Keith and Acxa exchanged a glance. “We wouldn’t want to impose.”  
  
“You’ve been doing a great service,” Melnor said. “It would be rude of us not to offer you somewhere to rest. Let me give the apartment manager a call.”  
  
“You’re both also free to stay with me, if you want,” Shiro said as Melnor ducked back into his office. “I have a bit of extra space at my place here.”  
  
Keith looked to Acxa—for permission? Shiro wasn’t sure. He was sure that once upon a time, Keith would have accepted, no hesitation, and Shiro almost didn’t want to know what had changed.  
  
There was so much that he had lost.  
  
Acxa stepped up to Keith, embracing him and leaning up to brush her cheek against his before pulling back and looking at Shiro, and oh.  
  
 _Oh._  
  
“I’d prefer to have my own space,” she said, “but I’m sure you have a lot to catch up on with him, Keith. Why don’t you go?”  
  
“Sure,” Keith said, still frowning at Acxa. He turned to Shiro. “That sounds nice. Thanks for the offer.”  
  
“I’ll let Melnor know. Don’t worry about moving your ship, I’ve got it. I’ll see you in the morning.” She gave Keith an unreadable look before following after Melnor.  
  
Shiro’s heart beat faster. Keith would be living with him again. Him and—  
  
“Sorry, I should have asked first… How do you feel about kids?” Vel wouldn’t mind a houseguest; life during and immediately after the rebellion didn’t afford them the convenience of being choosy about who to share space with. But Keith might not feel the same way.  
  
“Kids are fine, as long as you think they’ll be okay with the space wolf,” Keith said, an oddly resigned expression crossing his face as he pet the wolf’s head. “I guess he could stay with Acxa, if it came to that. Do you have kids?”  
  
“A daughter, Velnar,” Shiro said. “I think she’d like the space wolf. I have to pick her up from school on the way back, actually.”  
  
“Sure.”  
  
Shiro led the way to his cruiser. It had a bench with three safety straps for seats, and Keith and the wolf could just squeeze in. Keith took the seat by the door, the wolf wedged warm and soft between them. Shiro tried not to think too hard about the implications of that.  
  
“So, a daughter,” Keith said after he had dutifully strapped himself and the space wolf in. Shiro wasn’t sure the safety straps were actually doing anything for the wolf, but it was adorable that Keith had tried.  
  
“Vel’s half Galra, like you.” Shiro pulled out and began driving to the school. “Her mom was Valnexian, though.”  
  
“Oh. So her mom’s not…”  
  
“Both her mom and dad died in the rebellion.” Shiro’s voice was soft, and Keith made a noise of sympathy. “She was very young. Her dad was Galra, so he didn’t have any family who could take care of her. Her mom had a brother, and he took her in for a while, but then he had the opportunity to smuggle his family out and, well… there wasn’t room for a third kid.”  
  
Keith made another noise, this one of offense. “Are you serious?”  
  
“I don’t like what he did, but I understand it was a hard decision,” Shiro said. “He was just looking out for himself and his family.”  
  
Keith looked like he wanted to argue, but he clamped his mouth shut and started undoing and redoing the end of his braid, a new habit he must have picked up as his hair grew out.  
  
Shiro sighed. “There’s no use getting upset over it now. That was a long time ago. After that, she stayed with a few other families, but eventually the burden on their resources were too much and she’d have to change homes. I’ve known her since she was born, and eventually I convinced them to let me take her in.”  
  
“That’s good of you,” Keith said, voice quiet. Shiro suspected he was thinking back on his own childhood after his dad died. “You couldn’t take her in from the start?”  
  
“They were worried I wouldn’t know how to take of a female Galra-Valnexian baby, which was valid, because I don’t.” Shiro laughed and shook his head. “I had a lot of help. Pyrika especially.”  
  
“Well, I’m looking forward to meeting her,” Keith said, and Shiro could tell it was sincere.  
  
“I’m guessing that, given what you’ve been doing, alien kids aren’t new to you.”  
  
“Not really, no. It’s kind of cool, seeing all the different kinds of life that exist out there.”  
  
“Acxa said you’ve been doing this for a while,” Shiro said. “You must have been to a lot of places.”  
  
“Yeah. Wish you could have seen some of them. There was one planet where they were all little green people.”  
  
Shiro glanced over at Keith’s face, but it was as placid as it had been since he landed. “You’re messing with me.”  
  
Keith’s lips turned up in a little almost-smile. “They had little antennae and everything.”  
  
It was disconcerting to realize that he legitimately couldn’t tell if Keith was screwing with him or not, and they pulled up to the school before he could figure it out.  
  
Without a word, Keith melted back into his Galra appearance. While his transformation back into human form left Shiro filled with a sense of warmth and longing for Earth, his shift to Galra filled Shiro with an altogether different and inappropriate sense of longing that he blamed on what felt like a lifetime of celibacy.  
  
“Uh— You—“ Shiro wasn’t sure what sentence end he was looking for, only that he probably shouldn’t say it out loud.  
  
Keith thankfully seemed unaware of Shiro’s internal crisis as he ushered the space wolf out of the cruiser. “You said she’s half-Galra, right? I figure she’d be more comfortable with me like this.”  
  
Right, it was for Vel. Of course. What other reason would Keith have to transform?  
  
“No, yeah, that’s a great idea,” Shiro croaked. He cleared his throat and covered it up as a cough before leading the way to the outdoor space where the kids were free to run around after school. As expected, Vel wasn’t running around—she was sitting alone at one of the tables, reading a book.  
  
She looked up at his approach. Lately, Vel couldn’t wait to leave school, running up to Shiro as soon as she noticed he was there. This time she sat frozen at the sight of Keith and his wolf, ears twitching in what Shiro recognized as curiosity, not fear.  
  
“Hey, princess,” Shiro said, bending down to hug her. “This is my friend from Earth, Keith and his, uh, wolf. Space wolf. Do you want to say hi?”  
  
Vel started at Keith with wide, catlike eyes. She leaned in to whisper, “Are you sure he’s from Earth? He looks Galra.”  
  
“Let’s ask him,” he whispered back. “Hey, Keith, are you sure you’re from Earth?”  
  
Keith took the invitation to join them, crouching down beside Shiro. “I’m pretty sure,” he said, directing his answer to Vel. “You don’t think so?”  
  
“You don’t look like daddy,” Vel said.  
  
“I'm part Galra, like you. I can look human, too. Wanna see?"  
  
Vel looked him up and down. “Okay.”  
  
Keith shifted again, and it occurred to Shiro that he didn’t know what it took to do that. He hoped Keith wasn’t hurting himself in any way to change.  
  
Vel's head whipped between Keith and Shiro so quickly that Shiro was worried she’d give herself whiplash. “How'd you do that? Can I do that?”  
  
“Probably not, sorry,” Keith said, sounding genuinely apologetic. “It's because my mom is part Altean and Alteans can shapeshift, sometimes.”  
  
“Cool,” Vel breathed. She leaned closer to him and poked at his cheek.  
  
Shiro laughed. “I think you won her over.”  
  
Keith smiled at her, the biggest smile Shiro had seen from him since he landed. It was infectious, and Shiro smiled in response.  
  
“I’m Keith. What's your name?”  
  
Vel pulled her tail around herself and picked at it, suddenly shy. She looked at Shiro and he nodded encouragingly.  
  
“Velnar,” she said. “You can call me Vel.”  
  
Shiro raised his eyebrows. She never let people call her Vel, not unless she really liked them. Even Melnor had yet to earn the privilege.  
  
Keith seemed unaware of the great honor she had just bestowed on his existence. “It’s very nice to meet you, Vel.”  
  
“Does the wolf have a name?” Vel reached out to pet him, and the wolf walked closer to give her easier access to the top of his head.  
  
“If he does, he hasn’t told it to me yet.”  
  
Shiro turned his face to hide his smile at that.  
  
Vel took it in stride. “Oh, okay. I hope he tells you soon. It feels sad to keep calling him the space wolf.”  
  
The wolf barked and directed her to scratch at his ears, which she did immediately. “So you were really daddy's friend on Earth?”  
  
 “Yep. We were friends for a long time.”  
  
“Did you know him when he was as little as me?”  
  
Keith's smile got bigger. “You mean he never told you?” He leaned closer and put up the hand closest to Shiro to cover his mouth like he was sharing a secret, but he spoke loud enough for Shiro to hear. “Your dad was never as little as you. He was born this big.”  
  
Vel's eyes grew wide as she studied Shiro. “Wow.”  
  
“Okay, that's enough,” Shiro said, grinning. It warmed him to see them getting along well—he hadn’t realized just how worried he was that they wouldn’t like each other—but he didn’t want their good relationship to be at the cost of Vel completely misunderstanding human biology.  
  
“I’m just kidding,” Keith said to Vel. “He was definitely your size once, but I didn’t know him until he was big already. Maybe he’ll show you some pictures some day.”  
  
Vel frowned as she studied Shiro, and she had the same look on her face as she did when Shiro tried to tell her that the sky on Earth was blue. Shiro resigned himself to the fact that Vel was going to think he popped out six feet tall.  
  
“Vel, Keith just came to Valnexia and he doesn’t have anywhere to stay,” he said in an attempt to distract her. “Do you mind if he lives with us for a little bit?”  
  
She turned to Keith. “Can you look Galra again?”  
  
Keith sat back on his heels. “Yeah, but you have to press a button.”  
  
“A button?” Vel looked confused.  
  
Shiro was confused too.  
  
“Right here.” Keith pointed to his nose.  
  
Vel blinked at him, uncertain. Then, ever so slowly, she leaned forward and bopped his nose with her hand. He turned purple as she made contact, and she squealed in delight. She turned to Shiro, beaming. “He can stay.”  
  
Shiro’s heart melted and he had the sudden realization that he may not actually be able to survive living with Keith and Vel together if they were going to be this cute the entire time.  
  
Over Vel’s head, he saw her teacher start to head over. He coughed and tried to get his heart rate under control. “Okay, Vel, why don’t you go get your things so we can head home?”  
  
Vel turned to Keith. “You want to see my classroom?”  
  
Keith glanced at Shiro, and when Shiro didn’t object, he said, “Sure,” and let Vel drag him toward the building. The space wolf trotted after them.  
  
“I haven’t seen Velnar so excited in a long time,” Vel’s teacher said. “Was that her real father?”  
  
Shiro bit back his immediate response at the implication that he was some kind of fake or replacement. It wasn’t the first time someone had said that kind of thing, and given the clear lack of similarities between him and Vel, he was sure it wouldn’t be the last. “No, he’s a friend of mine. He’s visiting for a couple months.”  
  
He refrained from mentioning that he and Vel might leave with him.  
  
“I see,” the teacher said. “Well, I’m sure Velnar will be happy to have him around. It might be nice to have someone more like her close by.”  
  
Shiro needed to leave before he screamed. “I’m sure,” he said. “I have to take off, but I’m sure I’ll see you soon.”  
  
He fumed in the silence of his cruiser until Vel and Keith emerged. There was an awkward moment as Keith opened the door and they all realized that between Shiro, Keith, and the wolf, the cruiser had already been stuffed to maximum capacity.  
  
“Uh.” Shiro started to get out of his seat. “Keith, maybe you should—“  
  
“I can sit on him, like I do with Aunt Pyrika,” Vel said.  
  
Shiro hesitated. “If you’re okay with that. But I’m sure Keith can drive anything you put in front of him.”  
  
“I’m okay,” Vel said. She looked at Keith until he sat down. Then she wedged her bag on the floor by his feet before climbing into his lap. “Ready.”  
  
Keith looked bemused, but he pulled the safety straps over the both of them anyways. Shiro turned his face to the side to hide the fact that he was dying from cuteness.  
  
The drive back to his and Vel’s house was quick. Vel spent it telling Keith all about the book she was reading, and Shiro was beginning to suspect that she had crushed on Keith at first sight. Shiro wasn’t sure how he felt about that, but he knew he couldn’t let her get too attached—if Keith actually was in a relationship with Acxa, then Keith’s position in their lives wouldn’t be permanent.  
  
But Keith definitely surprised him with how easily interacted with Vel. It wasn’t as though he thought Keith would be bad with kids, necessarily; just that his brain had never thought to consider “Keith” and “kids” in the same sentence.  
  
“You’re good with her,” he said once he had parked and Vel had run ahead to unlock the door.  
  
Keith shrugged with one shoulder and picked Vel’s bag off the ground. “Kids are easy. They just want someone to listen to them. It’s the adults that are hard.” He looked at Shiro as he said it, and Shiro didn’t quite know what to make of it.  
  
“I’m giving him the tour,” Vel said, very official-like as she took Keith’s hand.  
  
The space wolf nosed in under her arm, unwilling to be left out.  
  
Shiro laughed and took the bag from Keith. “All right, princess, you do that. And afterwards you’re going to help me with dinner because Keith needs to get some rest. He’s had a long trip.”  
  
“Okay!”  
  
Shiro took out Vel’s homework and put the bag away as he listened to her walk Keith and the wolf through the living room, kitchen, bathroom, and two bedrooms that made up their small house. Right, he’d have to figure out the bedroom situation. In the past, Vel had given up her room to the guest and just shared with him. But she was older now, and he and Keith had shared beds before. He made a note to check with Keith once they were done with the tour.  
  
He made a quick trip to the kitchen to make sure they had enough food to make dinner for three people and came back to Vel walking Keith through each of her drawings that Shiro had put up on the wall in the living room. His heart stuttered and died as he realized that Vel was sitting in the crook of Keith’s arms, one of her arms looped around his neck and the other pointing at pictures on the wall.  
  
The image was undeniably and debilitatingly cute.  
  
“And these are my parents,” she was saying.  
  
Vel’s artistic abilities were still developing—the figures in the drawing resembled vegetables more than they did humanoid figures—but Keith nodded seriously and said, “They look like they were wonderful people.”  
  
Vel nodded too, and pointed to the next picture. “This is daddy. It looks better because I could look at him. I had to remember my parents when I drew them. He looks good, right?”  
  
“Very good,” Keith agreed. He tapped the red blob next to the questionable figure of Shiro. “Is that his ship?”  
  
“Yeah!” Vel lit up. “I’m not very good at drawing ships yet.”  
  
“I think it’s a very nice ship.”  
  
Vel beamed, and pointed to the next picture. “This is daddy’s friend from home,” she said, tapping on what was intended to be a depiction of Keith, drawn after Shiro had told her a fairytale-like abridged version of the failed Kerberos mission and how Keith had found and rescued him in the desert. “He saved daddy’s life, tons of times.”  
  
“He did, did he?” Keith asked. His voice was a little amused, a little soft. Shiro wasn’t sure Keith knew he was looking at a child’s imaginative rendering of himself, but It made Shiro feel greatly embarrassed anyways.  
  
“All right, who’s ready to help with dinner?” he said, too loudly.  
  
Vel looked at him, surprised, and he watched with resignation as her surprise melted to understanding as she looked between him and Keith and the picture. But all she said when she turned back to Keith was, “I should go help him.”  
  
Keith let her down to the ground. “Does your dad need a lot of help in the kitchen?”  
  
“Not really,” she said. “But he gets lonely if he has to do it all by himself.”  
  
“Thanks, Vel,” Shiro said. “Really appreciate you laying my personal life in front of everyone like that.”  
  
“Keith’s not everyone,” she said, with something in her tone that made Keith glance between her and Shiro with a thoughtful look on his face.  
  
“Okay, come on, to the kitchen,” Shiro said. “Keith, go ahead and take my bed for now. I’ll come get you when we’re finished.”  
  
“Sure.” Keith gave him one last searching look before disappearing down the hallway. The space wolf had been resting on the couch during Vel’s picture tour, and he got up and bounded after Keith.  
  
“You have goo goo eyes,” Vel said as they entered the kitchen.  
  
“Goo goo eyes?” Shiro repeated. What kind of Valnexian phrase was translating to that, and who taught it to her?  
  
“Goo goo eyes,” Vel said. “Like how Aunt Pyrika looks at Aunt M’hille.”  
  
Shiro was very much not ready to go there. Keith had only just re-entered his life. He didn’t even know what Keith’s personal life was like. He could already have a family of his own somewhere, or at least a long-term relationship—Acxa seemed a likely candidate for that.  
  
“You seem to like him quite a bit yourself,” Shiro said, deflecting.  
  
“Well, if I like you, and you like him…”  
  
“It doesn’t really work that way.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“Sometimes people are different when they’re with different people. Just because I like someone doesn’t mean that you have to. And you should tell me if you don’t.” Shiro ruffled the fur on top of her head. “You don’t have to spend time with anyone you don’t want to, okay?”  
  
“Okay,” she said. “But I like him.”  
  
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that you do,” Shiro said. “But tell me if that ever changes, okay?”  
  
“Okay.” Her stomach grumbled, and she looked around the kitchen. “So what’s for dinner?”  
  
\----  
  
Their dinners were always simple—some rice-like grains with a plate of simmered meat and a plate of vegetables. Honestly, Shiro didn’t usually have the skills or the time to get too adventurous, and Vel could help out a lot with such simple dishes.  
  
He set Vel to the task of setting the table while he went to wake Keith up himself, just in case. But Keith was only lightly dozing, and didn’t seem like he had rested much from the tense set of his back that Shiro could see from between the curtains hanging in the doorway. He rolled over when Shiro knocked on the wall. He was still in his Blades suit, but he had taken his hair out of its braid and it splayed across the sheets in a way that made Shiro swallow hard.  
  
The space wolf resting at Keith’s feet cracked open an eye to stare at Shiro judgmentally, which was a bit unfair. It wasn’t Shiro’s fault Keith was attractive.  
  
He collected himself to prove he could be a functional human being. “Um, hey.” Good start. “You hungry?”  
  
“Could eat.” Keith slowly pulled himself up. He hesitated, then said, “Can you come here a sec?”  
  
Shiro crouched beside the bed. Keith’s face was serious and a little ominous in the dim light. He was still in Galra form, his yellow sclera softly glowing. “What’s up?”  
  
“I learned a bit of druid magic—it’s a flavor of Altean magic so I guess it works for me. Do you mind if I—” he trailed off, and gestured to Shiro’s general person. “I know you don’t have great experiences with the druids, but I could make sure that there’s nothing… wrong with you.”  
  
Shiro figured he was okay after surviving for so long on Valnexia, but he trusted Keith and there wasn’t anything wrong with assuaging his fears. “Go ahead.”  
  
Keith reached out and lightly placed his fingers against the side of Shiro’s head and temple. Whereas Shiro remembered feeling the ice cold rush of druid magic flooding him whenever they magicked him, he could barely feel the touch of Keith’s. It was warm and light and almost ticklish, and was gone before he could really get a sense of it.  
  
Keith seemed lighter after he withdrew. “All good,” he said, a small smile on his face. “Thank you for letting me.”  
  
Shiro considered for the first time that he had been a source for the cloud of tension surrounding Keith, because now there was an easiness to him that was absent before.  
  
“Anytime,” Shiro said. “Come on, Vel made your plate. She’s excited to show you.”  
  
“Well, can’t disappoint Vel.”  
  
\----  
  
Dinner was a casual, quiet affair. Shiro had forgotten to make anything specifically for the space wolf, but at the beginning of dinner Keith wordlessly lowered a plate of meat to the floor so he supposed it was fine.  
  
Vel thankfully kept any comments on Shiro’s emotional state to herself and she quickly discovered that Keith was a veritable wellspring of stories about the varied worlds beyond Valnexia—including Earth, and Shiro’s somewhat less than straight-laced young adult life.  
  
Shiro tried to steer the conversation away from the fact that he had basically encouraged young Keith to go cliff-diving with a hoverbike, but from the look on both Keith and Vel’s faces he knew the whole story would be coming out at some point.  
  
Vel was never going to look at him the same way after this.  
  
At some point Keith took pity and started explaining to Vel various ways of braiding hair instead, which she hadn’t seen up close because Shiro never managed more effort than a ponytail. He decided that was a safe enough conversation to let them continue in the living room and he took on the task of putting away the leftovers and washing the dishes himself.  
  
When he eventually made his way back to the living room, Keith was fast asleep sideways on the couch. The space wolf was on the floor, observing Vel who was sitting on the couch by Keith’s chest and twisting his hair into an elaborate knot. When she saw Shiro, she tied it off and scurried over to him, patting the wolf as she passed.  
  
“He fell asleep in the middle of a sentence,” she whispered. “I’ve never seen anyone do that.”  
  
“He’s very tired,” Shiro said. He was glad that Keith was getting real sleep now, though. Maybe he was still too worried about Shiro before to rest well. Now he reminded Shiro of their past when Keith felt safe enough in his presence to fall asleep anywhere when he was around, sometimes leaning on him and sometimes sprawled out across a floor or table.  
  
He thought about moving Keith, but they hadn’t discussed sleeping arrangements yet, and Shiro didn’t know if Keith was a lighter sleeper after ten years—he didn’t want to risk waking him up.  
  
“We’ll leave him out here tonight,” Shiro said. “Say goodnight, Vel.”  
  
Vel stepped a few steps back towards Keith and whispered loudly, “Good night.”  
  
While Vel got ready for bed, Shiro retrieved a spare blanket from the bedroom and carefully draped it over Keith and the wolf, who had jumped up to occupy the empty space that Vel had left. Keith shifted, snuggling in the warmth, but he didn’t wake up.  
  
Shiro knew affection when he felt it, but what he felt looking at Keith right then ran deeper than that. He allowed himself a stroke of Keith’s hair and a moment of admiration for how his face gentled and relaxed in sleep—and then he stood.  
  
He didn’t know Keith’s life anymore, or his circumstances, he reminded himself, and it was best not to torture himself over what he couldn’t have.  
  
Keith was here, on Valnexia, with him.  
  
That had to be more than enough.


	3. Chapter 3

Keith seemed more relaxed and much less tired in the morning, none of which he attributed to their couch, which he declared worse than the beds in the dorms at the Garrison—and that was already an extremely low bar. He was more than agreeable when Shiro suggested they share his bed.  
  
“I’m sure Vel would like me more if I didn’t kick her out of her own room,” he said.  
  
“Vel already likes you plenty,” Shiro said. He wasn’t sure if it was even possible for her to like anyone more than she already did Keith, and within the first day at that.  
  
And she wasn’t the only one with an interest in Keith.  
  
Keith and Acxa’s arrival had sparked a bustle of gossip, which was expected in the tight-knit Valnexian community. Word quickly spread about the Blade of Marmora, what they were planning to do, and that they were close, personal friends of Shiro. He heard the whispers spreading when people saw him and Keith dropping Vel off at school, and his office hours were filled with students curious about these new Galra and their massive wolf.  
  
It was overwhelming, and Shiro was glad that the school year was going to be over soon so he could hide from everyone in peace.  
  
For now he took his victories where he could, even if that involved escaping campus to eat lunch in the gardens behind the capitol building instead. People there would be too distracted by the fact that Keith and Acxa were actually inside the building to come outside and bother him about it.  
  
Then Acxa herself stepped out the back door, and stopped to stare at Shiro eating his salad under the tree.  
  
He would have liked to pretend not to notice her, but she was something of his guest on this planet and he had a sense of hospitality so deeply ingrained that even a decade in space couldn’t wash it out of him. Ignoring her presence was not an option.  
  
He stood in greeting. “Hey, Acxa. How’s the apartment?”  
  
“It’s nice. Thanks for the accommodations.” She walked closer, stopping a few feet from him. Like Keith that morning, she still wore her Blades suit, and it made her cut an intimidating figure against the purple sky. “Did Keith sleep well?”  
  
“Well enough, I hope,” Shiro said. “He had complaints about the couch, but he’ll be in a bed from now on, so it can only get better.”  
  
Acxa nodded, but her eyebrows had a displeased tilt to them as she asked, “In your bed?”  
  
“Uh—“ Right, he had suspected about Acxa and Keith. The jealousy all but confirmed it. The realization hurt, but he didn’t want to sabotage Keith’s relationship, so he said, “Listen, about me and Keith—”  
  
She held up a hand to stop him. “I assume he’s told you everything. You don’t have to justify yourself to me. But let me tell you up front.” She leaned in and twisted the collar of his shirt with force—not to hurt him, but to provide a suggestion of it. “I don’t care what your circumstances are. I don’t like you, and I don’t trust you. Especially not when it comes to Keith.”  
  
Shiro swallowed, hard. It seemed like trying to get off on the right foot with Acxa was a lost cause before he even started, just by virtue of who he was. He couldn’t blame her—he and Keith had a long and complicated history. “I understand. If you would prefer he didn’t stay with me—”  
  
“He seems happy,” Acxa said. “It doesn’t matter what I prefer.”  
  
That was surprisingly understanding of her, but he supposed that was what people did for those they loved. He respected that. “Thank you,” he said. “You can trust me with him. I swear.”  
  
“I appreciate that,” Acxa said. “In fact, I really do hope you prove me wrong. But I don’t think you will.”  
  
“Acxa! And Shiro, hello.”  
  
Shiro turned to see Melnor approaching them.  
  
“We were just going to get lunch,” Melnor said. He was suspiciously bright-eyed. “Did you care to join us, Shiro?” He gave Shiro a look that clearly said he wasn’t actually invited, and Shiro didn’t know how to clue him in to the fact that he was batting far out of his league with Acxa.  
  
“I have to get back to the Academy soon,” Shiro said, deciding to take the out he was given for now. “But enjoy yourselves. I’m sure Acxa and I will have another chance to catch up.”  
  
“I’m sure,” Acxa said.  
  
“A shame,” Melnor said in the most unapologetic tone of voice possible. “Enjoy your afternoon.”  
  
“You as well.” Shiro would probably have to have that conversation with Melnor sooner rather than later.  
  
His afternoon was thankfully less hectic. His students learned quickly that a question about anything not flight related resulted in him increasing the number of sequences on their training cards, so they stayed quiet for their own sakes.  
  
After classes were over, it was about his usual time to pick up Vel, so he wandered back to the capitol building to see if Keith was done for the day. He realized he probably should have figured out some form of communication with Keith, or at least figured out what his schedule would be, but he imagined they couldn’t be in meetings all day.  
  
It turned out he didn’t have to look very hard. He had only stepped one foot into the building when the space wolf tackled him without warning and teleported him into the back gardens where Shiro had eaten lunch.  
  
Keith was sitting on the same garden bench Shiro had . The hood of his suit was down and his face was in his hands. A datapad was lit up on the bench beside him, but Shiro couldn’t see what was on the screen.  
  
Keith lifted his head a moment after they flashed into existence. His eyes were red-rimmed despite his Galra form, and he looked as though he had been crying.  
  
Shiro froze, then took a half step forward. “Keith—“  
  
Keith shot up, picking up the datapad and shutting off the screen in one smooth movement. “I’m fine,” he said, voice hoarse in a way that Shiro recognized as being raw from crying and an unmistakable sign that Keith was definitely not fine.  
  
But something about Keith seemed impossibly fragile in that moment, and Shiro didn’t feel safe enough to push, not when he didn’t know exactly where he stood with Keith anymore. So he let it go. “You ready to head back?”  
  
“Yeah, let’s go.”  
  
The ride to the school was silent, with Keith steadfastly looking out the window the whole time. He managed a smile for Vel when she climbed into his lap, but it was subdued. “Hey, Vel. How was your day?”  
  
Vel frowned, eyes darting between Shiro and Keith. She’d picked up on Keith’s mood and didn’t know how to react to it. “It was good. I finished a book about mythology. Want to hear about it?”  
  
“Sure.”  
  
So Vel told him all about the different Valnexian myths she had learned in the book she read that day. Keith nodded his head and asked questions at all the right times, but the sadness never left his expression.  
  
\----  
  
Keith’s dim mood persisted throughout the rest of the day. He went into the bedroom early that evening with his datapad, claiming he had to respond to messages, and he was asleep by the time Shiro was done helping Vel with her homework and entered the bedroom himself.  
  
At some point in the middle of the night, Shiro was awakened by the sound of the front door opening and closing. He had spent years in relative peace, but old habits died hard and he went from asleep to fully alert in less than a second.  
  
The bed next to him was empty, and he realized Keith must have left. He rolled out of bed, pulling on a shirt for decency, and stepped outside. Keith was laying on the ground in front of the house, eyes fixed on the night sky.  
  
“Hey,” Shiro said. “Mind if I join you?”  
  
Keith tilted his head back to look at him. His eyes were red-rimmed—still or again, Shiro wasn’t sure. He looked guilty, but he nodded his head slightly to the side. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up. Should’ve realized you’d be a light sleeper.”  
  
“It’s fine.” Shiro stretched out next to him, on his back, and looked out at the stars. He glanced at Keith. “Is this okay?”  
  
Keith paused for a moment, eyes sweeping up and down Shiro’s body before returning his gaze upward. “Yeah.”  
  
Shiro looked back at the sky, too. The patterns of the stars were completely different on Valnexia, none of the constellations familiar. There were some that played in Valnexian myths that Shiro had learned over the years. Vel had told Keith a few of them in the car and over dinner, but she hadn’t linked them to the celestial bodies in the sky. He wondered what Keith was seeing as he looked out there.  
  
He turned back to Keith again, ever so slightly, and watched the starlight bounce off his somber eyes. The moonlight painted him with an ethereal glow, casting Keith’s face and the pale stretch of his neck in a soft haze that accentuated the lilac hues of his Galra skin. He was beautiful like this, and just this side of delicate. Shiro felt like if he were to reach out and touch him, he would shatter into stardust.  
  
Shiro gave up all pretense of looking at the sky and rolled onto his side, facing Keith. “How are you really doing, Keith?” he said, voice a quiet rumble in the hush of the night. “I know a lot of time has passed and a lot of things have changed for us, but I hope you know that you don’t ever have to put up a front, not in front of me.”  
  
“I appreciate it,” Keith said. His eyes slid toward Shiro, but he didn’t move. “I really am okay, though.”  
  
Okay enough to cry alone in the middle of the night?  
  
But Shiro knew Keith when he was even more reticent, and so he knew better than to directly push him into talking about things he didn’t want to talk about. He shifted the conversation to something he suspected was related. “Acxa mentioned you’ve been away from Earth for a while.”  
  
Keith hummed an affirmation, and Shiro saw his shoulders tense.  
  
“Do you still talk to the other Paladins?”  
  
“Yeah.” Keith paused for a moment. “I was talking to some of them today, actually. Sort of. We’re too far for instant communication, so we just send each other video messages. The time delay is a little less than a week here, I think.”  
  
“Oh, that’s cool.” From what Acxa was saying about Keith not having anyone on Earth, Shiro had honestly been afraid that Keith had become some sort of space hermit. “So what are the other Paladins doing?”  
  
Keith didn’t even have to think about it, relaxing a bit as he answered, “Pidge and her family are still on Earth. They started integrating Altean tech into Earth ships, but since the materials aren’t naturally occurring on Earth, they have to figure out how to keep up the tech advances in a sustainable way. Hunk’s out in space with Shay, researching the Balmera and seeing if there’s a way to synthesize even a weaker version of the crystals, just to make their use as an energy source more sustainable. Lance is primarily a diplomat to New Altea, but when he’s on Earth he actually teaches flight at the Garrison, if you can believe it. Allura and Coran are working to start making New Altea a real nation again. And—yeah.”  
  
Shiro whistled. “Everyone’s really spread out, huh?”  
  
“There was a time when what the universe needed was Voltron,” Keith said, “but that time has passed. Fighting isn’t going to solve everything. We’re all just trying to put our skills where they’re needed the most.”  
  
Shiro had missed so, so much. He wasn’t going to be able to change that, but he could admire what everyone had become. He almost wished he had something more to show for himself, but his sanity and a daughter was probably more than he could have hoped for.  
  
He reached out and took Keith’s hand in his own. “I am so proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished. I’m sorry I missed seeing so much of it.”  
  
Keith squeezed his hand in response. “Me too,” he said, almost whispered. “It’s not—I don’t blame you for it.”  
  
“You seem like you do,” Shiro said, tentatively. “You’ve been a little distant since you arrived. I know it’s because I’m—I’m not the same as I was before. Every time you find me, I think, I’m not the same, but it’s been—well, it’s been a lot longer, this time. I’m so sorry. Every time I promise I’ll come back to you, and every time it seems like I never do.”  
  
“Don’t you?” Keith smiled a little. “Seems to me you’re here now.”  
  
“I don’t know if this is really me coming back to you,” Shiro said, “more than it is you dragging me back by sheer force of will, like you always do.”  
  
Keith hummed, and his smile slipped a little as the tension eased into his shoulders again. He looked down at their joined hands and started inspecting Shiro’s fingers. They were flesh, where Galra metal used to be. Shiro rubbed his thumb over Keith’s hand, and Keith looked up at Shiro in response, a determined set to his brow that meant he wanted to say something.  
  
Shiro waited, but no words came out. He pulled his hand away from Keith’s and slowly reached out towards his face. When Keith didn’t draw back, he rested it against the side of his face, stroking his thumb against the plane of his cheekbone. Keith sighed and leaned into it, eyes fluttering shut and the tension slowly easing from his body.  
  
They stayed, silently curled towards each other, until Shiro was eventually lulled to sleep by Keith’s soft, steady breaths.  
  
\----  
  
Something changed after that night.  
  
Some part of Keith was still distant in a way Shiro couldn’t articulate, but he noticed the next day as he woke up to a head of muddy hair that Keith’s smile was broader and made his eyes crinkle at the corner. He looked younger. Softer.  
  
They ate dinner together every evening. Keith would work on his datapad while Vel and Shiro did homework, and then he would talk and play with her until her bedtime. They went outside every night after Vel went to sleep, sitting under the stars and talking quietly about anything and everything. Shiro had twelve years of life on Valnexia to talk about, and Keith had a decade’s worth of stories about space, Voltron, the war, and after. He went into detail about the worlds he had visited on his mission with the Blades, including the one with the little green men that Shiro still suspected may be a complete fabrication. Keith’s secret little smile told him nothing.  
  
As the days passed, Keith only grew more open and relaxed, and Shiro wasn’t the only one who noticed.  
  
“Your friend is looking a lot less scary lately,” Pyrika said at another of their regular lunches, a few weeks after Keith and Acxa had landed.  
  
“Scary?” Shiro repeated. “Do you mean Keith?”  
  
“They both look like they could take down Melnor blindfolded and with both hands tied behind their backs,” M’hille said.  
  
“I mean, you're not wrong,” Shiro said, because she probably wasn't. Shiro knew how deadly Keith and Acxa could be ten years ago. He could only imagine what they were capable of now, and together. “But that doesn’t mean they’re scary people.”  
  
“Yeah, I'm starting to believe it,” Pyrika said. “When we first met him I thought he was ready to kill someone, you know. His eyebrows were just like—“ She made an exaggerated furrow on her face.  
  
“That's actually accurate,” M’hille said. “Everyone was a bit afraid of them.”  
  
“He was just stressed, I guess.” Shiro didn't remember that, but he knew Keith too well to mistake stress and discomfort as murderous intent. “I'm glad you find him more approachable now. He really is a great person.”  
  
“‘The community is starting to see it,” Pyrika said. “We’ve been talking to a lot more Valnexians. They didn’t trust him at first for obvious Galra-shaped reasons, but a lot of people are getting really excited about what they’re doing now.”  
  
“Keith’s been doing everything as a Galra?”  
  
“Well, the Blades of Marmora are a Galra organization, aren’t they?” Pyrika said. “He’s making it clear that the Galra are more than just the Empire, and they’re just as capable of doing good in the universe. I think it’s starting to work.”  
  
Shiro thought of Vel, and hoped that the ripples of Keith’s work could begin to reach her.  
  
  
  
  
“You know,” Pyrika said, “you seem a lot less stressed, yourself. Excited to be going home?”  
  
Right, there was that.  
  
“I haven’t talked to Vel about it yet.” Shiro sighed. “Though I’m sure she knows what’s going on. Guess I just don’t know how to bring it up.”  
  
“There’s only a month left,” M’hille said.  
  
“I know, I’ll talk to her soon.” Shiro looked between M’hille and Pyrika. “What about you?”  
  
“I have to go,” M’hille said, taking Pyrika’s hand and smiling softly at her. “But we’re going to try to make it work. I’ll come back, as soon as I have access to my ships again.”  
  
The promise sounded familiar. Shiro hoped M’hille was better at keeping them than he was.  
  
Pyrika sniffed and cleared her throat. “Well,” she said, turning back to Shiro, “if it’s not your leaving, maybe it’s because of a certain someone? A tall, dark, dangerous someone?”  
  
“There's nothing going on between us.” They looked entirely disbelieving. “Seriously. I don't want to cause any trouble between him and Acxa.”  
  
M’hille and Pyrika exchanged a glance.  
  
“Um, are you saying he and Acxa are like… together?” Pyrika said, touching the tips of two of her fingers together.  
  
“Because if that's the case,” M’hille said, “someone should really tell Acxa. My office is next to Melnor’s. They're getting pretty cozy. Also, did you know she used to work for Zarkon’s son?”  
  
“I'm aware of that, yes,” Shiro said. “What do you mean they're getting cozy?”  
  
“She means they were definitely making out,” Pyrika said. “So either your friend’s in an open relationship or...”  
  
Shiro couldn't make sense of it. Acxa had said she was in a relationship with Keith, yes? But she hadn’t objected very strongly to Keith staying with Shiro, and in his bed at that, so maybe it was an open relationship. But then again, she had definitely also warned Shiro away from Keith, so… it was open, just not to Shiro, perhaps?  
  
He was getting very confused by the whole situation.  
  
“I think it's time for you to make a move.” Pyrika rolled her eyes at the look on Shiro’s face. “Come on, we’re not blind. You’re into him. You’ve got, like… goo goo eyes.”  
  
“Were you the one who taught Vel that?”  
  
“Not the point,” Pyrika said, which meant yes. “The point is that you need to go get your man.”  
  
“He is not—“  
  
“I thought you were pretty happy, after the fighting ended and you got to settle down with Vel,” M’hille said, “but it was nothing compared to how you are now, with Keith here. Life’s too short for you not to tell him how you feel. You know that.”  
  
“I’ll consider it.”  
  
“That means he’s not gonna do it,” Pyrika whispered loudly.  
  
“Okay, enough about that.” Shiro really would think about it, after he sorted out the confusion of Keith-and-Acxa, but he didn’t need them getting on his case about it. “Tell me how things are going with the transport ship.”  
  
Pyrika sighed exaggeratedly at him, but spent the rest of lunch telling them about how they were working with the Blades to get in touch with contacts provided by the passengers of the transport ship to make sure they would all have places to stay once they arrived. It was simple for those who still had family on the planet, but much more complicated for those who didn’t. They were also starting to go around to different communities to give everyone a chance to leave if they wanted. Pyrika gave Shiro a pointed look as she talked about that part.  
  
Shiro felt plenty chastised by the end of lunch.  
  
As they left, M’hille said to Shiro, softly, “Talk to him.”  
  
“Tonight,” Shiro promised.  
  
\----  
  
That night, as they sat beneath the night sky, Shiro broached the topic with Keith. “I heard Acxa and Melnor are getting along.”  
  
“Yeah,” Keith said. “Most of the Blades have been against the Empire from the beginning. They were worried about espionage, so they didn't really try to change anyone's loyalties. She’s found it nice to have someone else who understands what it means to betray the Empire.”  
  
“Just nice?”  
  
Keith looked at him in surprise, then a small smirk bloomed on his face. “Wow, listening to the rumor mill, are we? Didn’t think you had it in you.”  
  
“Hard not to when the source is your friend, I guess,” Shiro said with a shrug.  
  
“M’hille, right? She seems nice,” Keith said. “I think the Quirrus are going to be on Earth for the celebration. She should be able to get a ride back with them after.”  
  
“Quirrus?” Shiro repeated. M’hille hadn’t talked about her homeworld much to him; Shiro suspected it was still painful for her.  
  
“Yeah, we went to their system my first year out here. She’s…” Keith trailed off at the curiosity on Shiro’s face. “Actually, I should let her tell you. I assumed you already knew.”  
  
“That’s fine,” Shiro said. “I’m glad she’ll have a chance to get home sooner. Was she excited to hear that?”  
  
“I haven’t told her.” Keith looked at Shiro. “Actually, I thought she might like hearing it from you.”  
  
It could feel nice to deliver good news for once. “Sure, I’ll let her know.”  
  
“As for what’s going on with Acxa… I’m not sure. I think it’d be good for her, if she had someone, but we’re constantly on the move and it seems like Melnor’s pretty set on making things move forward here. I don’t want her to get hurt. But I can’t stop her from making her own choices.”  
  
That sounded very much like Keith had no romantic attachment to her. Shiro hesitated, then decided to just ask outright to confirm. “So you and Acxa aren’t together?”  
  
Keith laughed, startled. “What? No. No, we’re not.”  
  
“Oh.”  
  
Keith studied his face and frowned, suddenly serious. “What’s this actually about?”  
  
Shiro tilted his head back and tried to figure out where to start. “Going back to Earth… it was all I dreamed about, for the longest time. I felt so—so empty here, like there was a hole in my heart that needed filling. And I thought home was what was missing.”  
  
“You don’t think that anymore?”  
  
“At some point I realized that the home I was missing wasn’t Earth,” Shiro said. “It was the people there. It was you, Keith.”  
  
Keith looked down for a long moment. His hair was out of his braid that night, and fell in waves over his shoulders. “What are you trying to say?” His voice was rough.  
  
“You’re my home, Keith. I love you,” he said, and it wasn’t a revelation to him, only a voicing of what he had known since he first woke up and all he could think of was where Keith was. It only felt natural to reach out, hand lightly cupping the back of Keith’s head, and kiss him. Keith latched onto his shoulders and leaned into the kiss for a brief, splendid moment. Then his hands slid to Shiro’s chest, lightly pushing him away.  
  
Shiro pulled back immediately. His heart dropped when he saw the troubled expression on Keith’s face.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Keith said. “I’m so sorry. This isn’t fair to you. I should have told you from the beginning.”  
  
Shiro had been right after all. Keith had already given away his heart—maybe not to Acxa, but to someone else. Of course Keith wouldn’t have waited for him for a decade. He had made a mistake, kissing him without getting the full details, but Keith looked like he was suffering more for it, face buried in his hands.  
  
Despite the feeling of his own heart breaking into a million pieces, Shiro couldn’t handle seeing this kind of guilt on Keith. He reached out and placed a hand against his arm. “I’m so sorry I pushed. But it’s okay. We’ll be okay. All right? Breathe.”  
  
Keith nodded, and took a deep breath. “I’m so sorry,” he said again, and Shiro readied himself for the next words.  
  
_I’m in love with someone else._  
  
_You’re too late._  
  
_You’ve changed._  
  
_I’ve changed._  
  
Keith reached for Shiro’s hand on his arm, then interlaced their fingers, squeezing tight.  
  
"You…” He took a deep breath. “You’re not the real Shiro."


	4. Chapter 4

_You’re not the real Shiro._  
  
_You’re not the real Shiro._  
  
_You’re not the real Shiro._  
  
Shiro pulled his hand from Keith’s and sat back.  
  
“Okay,” he said. It made sense, in a way. The differences in his body from his memories could be explained by the fact that his memories were fake. Keith’s strange distance in the face of seeing him again was because he didn’t know how to act around someone who thought he was Shiro, and not a byproduct of their time apart. And now, hearing his name fall from Keith’s lips, he realized Keith actually hadn’t called him by it ever since he landed.  
  
He wasn’t Shiro.  
  
And he didn’t know what to do with this new information.  
  
“So what does it mean exactly, for me to be a fake Shiro?”  
  
“You're not a fake,” Keith said, with such force that Shiro was taken aback. He didn’t think the term was inaccurate—he wasn’t the real Shiro, so by definition he must be a fake.  
  
“Sorry, that was my fault.” Keith ran his fingers through his hair, started braiding it again. “That came out wrong. I shouldn’t have… I didn’t mean to say you’re not real. You are real, just… you’re a clone," Keith said, glancing at Shiro to gauge his reaction. “One of hundreds, actually. I thought you all died when the cloning facility was destroyed, but, well. If Sendak somehow survived in space, I shouldn’t be surprised that at least one of your cryopods survived and landed somewhere safe."  
  
The words knocked at something in Shiro’s mind, but he couldn’t make sense of it, and trying to focus on it just made a headache throb between his eyes. He rubbed his temple. “Why were there hundreds of clones of me? Um, of Shiro?”  
  
Keith reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. "You're still Shiro. Maybe not the original, and you'll never be him, but that doesn't make you any less. Okay?"  
  
Shiro didn’t believe him—he wasn’t sure if Keith even believed himself—but he wasn’t in the state of mind to argue about it. “Okay.”  
  
Keith studied his face, then went on, slowly, “To answer your question, Haggar got some of your genetic material when you were captured after Kerberos. After you became the Black Paladin, she realized that if she could replace you with a clone under her control, she would have the means to control Voltron. So she started making clones. The reason there were so many were for—experimentation,” Keith stumbled over the word, “we think. She made genetic modifications to try to make you some kind of super human, but it ended up making a lot of the clones unviable. And they needed to survive the surgery for the Galra arm, and the magic she used for mind control on top of that.”  
  
So there had been hundreds of him, experimented on, amputated, and brainwashed all to serve the whims of a crumbling empire. Bile rose in Shiro’s throat, and he swallowed it down with effort.  
  
Keith was watching him carefully. “What’s the last thing you remember before waking up here?”  
  
“Something—something about Lotor, and an Altean colony?” The pounding headache was back in full force. “I think—I think the Castle was being attacked. And then we were… were we… fighting?”  
  
“Yes, we were,” Keith said, softly. “The rest might come back, but—the reason you don’t remember is because around that time I cut off Haggar’s link to you—or, well, another clone of you—that she was probably using to fill in all the other clones’ memories, in case something happened.”  
  
“Her link to me,” Shiro repeated.  
  
“Your arm,” Keith said after a moment. “I cut off your Galra arm.”  
  
And Shiro—he remembered that. The flash of pain as Keith’s bayard took off his arm at the shoulder. And something else—the acrid scent of burning flesh as he pressed plasma down against Keith’s face—  
  
“I gave you that scar,” he said in quiet horror.  
  
Keith touched it, seemingly without thinking. “It was worth it, to save you. And it wasn’t like I didn’t leave you with scars, either.”  
  
“Why did I—“  
  
“It was Haggar’s mind control. She wanted you to kill me, true evil clone style.” Keith’s lip quirked. “Didn’t work, obviously.”  
  
He closed his eyes and tried to remember. He remembered the place, cold and metal and glowing. He remembered the moment he gave Keith the scar, and pleas for him to stop, to work it out—  
  
_I love you._  
  
“Where’s the real—the original Shiro right now?”  
  
“Right now?” Keith said. “He’s on New Altea, spending time with Allura and Coran before he goes back to Earth for the five year celebration. New Altea’s still young so Allura doesn’t feel like she can leave. Shiro’s been made an Admiral of the Garrison. He has his own ship and everything, that Sam Holt made. It’s huge.”  
  
Keith’s voice when he talked about the real Shiro was full of pride and love and a kind of sad longing for someone unreachable that Shiro only recognized from the timbre of his own thoughts, back when he believed that seeing Keith again might be a near-hopeless dream.  
  
Keith loved Shiro.  
  
And he—he was not the real Shiro.  
  
He was too late after all, but not for the reason he had assumed. He must be the only person in the world, he thought, to lose the love of his life to himself.  
  
“You okay?” Keith squeezed his shoulder lightly. It was a comforting touch, and any other time he would have reveled in it, but now it just reminded him strongly of what he couldn’t have, and through no fault of his own.  
  
He drew away. “Yeah. Yeah, sorry. It’s just a lot to take in.”  
  
Keith looked hurt, but he pulled back and pulled his knees up to his chest, arms wrapped around himself like he was physically protecting his heart. He looked miserable with guilt. “Yeah, I get it. Sorry to dump it on you like this. I really did mean to tell you earlier, but. I just couldn’t figure out how.”  
  
“It’s okay, I’m not mad. I wouldn’t know how to do it either, if I were you. I guess I would have figured it out on my own, at some point, especially if I went to Earth. This is why you’ve never called me Shiro, right?”  
  
“It was weird for me,” Keith said. “That’s not a good excuse, though.”  
  
Shiro noticed he still couldn’t say it.  
  
“It’s fine,” he said. “He’s still Shiro to you, then?” Adam had called him Takashi, and it was intimate in a certain way, but the way Keith said _Shiro_ always had the same feeling to it. He wasn’t surprised that the name stuck, even through whatever it was they had now.  
  
“I think he’ll always be Shiro to me.” Keith’s smile was a little sad. Shiro wasn’t sure why.  
  
“In that case…” He couldn’t have Keith, but maybe he could have at least this much. “Could you call me Takashi instead?”  
  
“That’s…” Keith trailed off at whatever he saw on Shiro’s face. “Yeah, I can do that. Takashi.”  
  
His given name on Keith’s tongue sent a little thrill through him. He stopped using the name in middle school, after a childhood of people telling him his name was too hard to pronounce, and calling him _Takeshi_ or _Tekashi_ or putting stresses in odd places—a far cry from the melodic syllables he heard in the memories he had of his parents. There were far less ways to go wrong with _Shiro_.  
  
But Keith always met him where he was, and this was no different. He repeated the name just as Shiro—no, Takashi—said it, just as he remembered it. He said it like it was a precious thing. Like he was a precious thing.  
  
There wasn’t room for another Shiro in Keith’s life, but perhaps he could carve himself a new space as Takashi.  
  
As far as going back to Earth was concerned, though—  
  
“So I guess there won’t really be a place for me if I go back,” he said.  
  
“There will always be a place for you,” Keith said. “None of this is your fault. If anyone has a problem with you, they’d better be ready to fight me.”  
  
Takashi smiled despite himself. After years of fending for himself, it was a little comforting to experience Keith’s unique brand of aggressive protectiveness again—especially in light of what Keith had just told him. Keith had no reason to protect a clone.  
  
“I think I’d like to go, at least to see Earth again,” he said. “But I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable staying. And it also depends on Vel, of course.”  
  
“It’s whatever you want. If you want to stay there, or if you decide you want to come back. We’ll make it work.”  
  
Takashi nodded. His thoughts were in turmoil, and there were an endless number of things he knew that he should ask, or say, but he couldn’t define any of them with clarity. What he needed was to not think, at least for a moment.  
  
He stood. “I’m gonna head to bed.”  
  
“Okay.” Keith looked at him over his knees. “Hey, Takashi. Are we okay?”  
  
“Of course. If anything, I should be the one asking you that,” Takashi said with a wry smile. “After all, I’m probably very different from who you thought I was.”  
  
“No,” Keith said. The guilt was gone now, replaced with something soft and sad. “No. You’re exactly who I thought you were.”  
  
Takashi waited, but he didn’t say anything else. “Good night, Keith.”  
  
“Good night.”  
  
After he re-entered the house, he stopped at the window to look at Keith, who was still sitting folded in on himself outside. He was looking out towards the stars. Takashi wondered if when he looked up there, he was thinking of Earth.  
  
If he was thinking of the real Shiro.  
  
\----  
  
Takashi decided to let everyone know early on. He went to Melnor’s office after his first round of finals and told him the whole thing—how he was a clone, and how he was now going by Takashi to reduce confusion (and to remind himself that he wasn’t really Shiro).  
  
He didn’t actually tell Melnor that last part.  
  
Melnor took it in stride, though he seemed confused. “So the Shiro we knew wasn’t replaced by you. It was always you. But you’re the clone of a man we’ve never met. Is that right?”  
  
“That’s a good summary, yes.”  
  
“Well, if it’s been you the whole time, and we’ve never met this other Shiro, why does any of it matter?”  
  
“Um.” Melnor had a point. Aside from easing Takashi’s own conscience about having spent twelve years pretending to be someone he wasn’t, telling everyone this served no real practical purpose. “I guess it doesn’t. But please call me Takashi anyways.”  
  
The conversation ended after that.  
  
Takashi was contemplating what about this, if anything, he should tell Vel when he bumped into Acxa on his way out the building.  
  
He started to greet her when she spoke up.  
  
“Keith told me,” she said, apropos of nothing. “I’m sorry. I thought he had already explained everything to you that first night. I imagine you must have been confused by how I treated you.”  
  
“Oh, no, it’s okay,” Takashi said, even though her words had etched themselves into his brain—  
  
_I don’t care what your circumstances are. I don’t like you, and I don’t trust you. Especially not when it comes to Keith._  
  
He had assumed she meant in terms of her relationship with Keith. Now he realized she meant that it was because he was a clone, and Keith had firsthand experience with evil Shiro clones trying to kill him.  
  
“I understand why he had a hard time bringing it up. You don’t have to apologize.”  
  
Acxa nodded slowly. “How are you handling it?”  
  
She sounded sincere, so Takashi gave her a sincere answer. “It makes me more nervous about going back to Earth, for sure. Keith hasn’t been acting like he expects me to behave a certain way, but it’s been a long time, and me and the real Shiro—I’m sure we’re very different in a lot of ways now. I’m just not sure how.”  
  
Acxa looked away, a frown on her face. “Physically, you couldn’t get more different. He has short hair, all white. His soul was transplanted in a clone body—don’t ask me for details, I don’t know them—but he mostly hasn’t had to engage in heavy physical combat since then so he isn’t quite as… large… as you. He has an Altean prosthetic now. It’s attached to his shoulder joint with electromagnetism, so it floats.”  
  
Takashi whistled. That sounded pretty awesome—far more awesome than Galra tech.  
  
“I guess you’re both still nerds. That hasn’t changed.” Acxa smirked a little. “Personality-wise, you’re actually very similar, hence my concern. I don’t know if Keith’s mentioned it to you, but he’s married.”  
  
Ah, so Shiro and Keith had already made it there. It only made sense. Takashi had felt that same pull towards Keith, and it hadn’t even been that long since they’d reunited. They had always been orbiting around each other, and since then Shiro and Keith have had a decade to strengthen their bond, to become the universe to each other.   
  
“Keith didn’t say,” Takashi said.  
  
Acxa huffed. “Yeah, I figured he wouldn’t tell you outright.”  
  
Takashi would have appreciated knowing, but he understood that Keith probably hadn’t mentioned it for the same reason he had such difficulty telling Takashi the truth about himself—he didn’t want to hurt him.  
  
“Look, just—don’t tell Keith I told you,” Acxa said. “I just think you should know so that you understand where I’m coming from when I say that Keith has been really happy here with you, but I don’t want him to get hurt, so if whatever relationship you’re building with him isn’t going to last… please back off. For his sake.”  
  
Right. After they went back, Keith would have to return to his life with the real Shiro. There wouldn’t be any place for him, or Vel, or the little family that Takashi had thought they were building together.  
  
He was sure Keith wouldn’t have the heart to cut them completely out of his life—it was clear he’d grown too close to Vel for that—but for the real Shiro’s sake, Takashi understood the need to distance himself.  
  
Acxa was right. Their relationship wouldn’t last outside the bubble of Valnexia. He had to stop it while it was still contained, before it got too painful for everyone involved.  
  
“I understand,” Takashi said, hollow.  
  
Acxa gave him a sympathetic look. “I just think he’s been through enough.” She paused, then added, “For what it’s worth, I am glad he found you.”  
  
“Yeah.” It was bittersweet on his tongue. “Me too.”  
  
\----  
  
Takashi tried to put on a positive attitude at lunch with Pyrika and M’hille, but it was too difficult a feat when he felt as though his very soul had died. Did he even have a soul, as a clone? Maybe he was just… nothing. He certainly felt like nothing.  
  
So when Pyrika and M’hille arrived, he said, “I’m not Takashi Shirogane.”  
  
Pyrika tilted her head at him. “I don’t get it. Do you get it?”  
  
M’hille shook her head.  
  
“I’m a clone of the original Takashi Shirogane. Long story short, Keith and a different clone got in a fight that he thought killed the rest of the clones because they all fell into space, but I survived by crash landing here.”  
  
“I have many questions,” M’hille said.  
  
“Wait,” Pyrika said. “So where’s this original Takashi Shirogane, then?”  
  
“He’s on a mission of his own right now. He and Keith probably plan to meet again back on Earth. Keith is, uh. Keith’s married to him.”  
  
“Shit,” Pyrika said. ‘I’m so sorry.”  
  
“Don’t be,” Takashi said. “I’m happy for him. If I’m going to lose him to someone, it may as well be to myself, right?” He didn’t sound convincing, even to his own ears, so he pushed past it. “In any case, I’m starting to go by Takashi to make things less confusing. So I’d appreciate it if you could start calling me that. You in particular, M’hille. I think things could be especially weird on Earth.”  
  
“You’re still going back?” M’hille said.  
  
“I still have to talk to Vel about it, but I think we’ll go at least for a little bit,” Takashi said. “Just because I’m a clone doesn’t mean I’m not still a person, even if it’s not exactly the person I thought it was. I still miss Earth, as much as I always did. Earth just… might not miss me.” He shrugged, to try to alleviate some of the hurt he felt from admitting that.  
  
“Real question,” Pyrika said. “You’re not an evil clone, are you? Isn’t that a thing?”  
  
Takashi laughed. “Would I tell you if I was? But no, I'm not. Or at least I think I’m not. I'm pretty sure Keith checked for that on the first day,” he said, recalling the only bit of druid magic he’d seen Keith perform around him.  
  
Pyrika’s face fell serious. “Speaking of Keith, there’s something I need to tell you. I heard from some of my friends… Vel’s been telling kids at school that Keith’s her dad.”  
  
It seemed inevitable, somehow. Takashi wasn’t a real person; it only made sense that he would fail at being a real enough father as well. “I’ll talk to Vel about it,” he said, resigned.  
  
“I don’t think she means that you’re any less her dad,” M’hille said. “She’s just never had reason to be proud of her Galra heritage, but Keith and Acxa have changed that. Everyone respects Melnor, but they also fear him because of his past. Keith and Acxa have given no cause for fear.”  
  
“Except for, like, their general appearances,” Pyrika said. “But we got over that when we started seeing what big softies they were.”  
  
Takashi never thought he would hear Keith (or Acxa’s) name and the words “big softie” in the same sentence, but he had experienced stranger things in this world.  
  
“I appreciate that,” Takashi said. “But I must be doing something wrong, if she feels like she has to lie about this.”  
  
“It’s more because of the state of our world than anything you did,” M’hille said.  
  
Takashi didn’t find it particularly reassuring. The state of the world was that he wasn’t meant to be in it. He thought that he might be safe, in this corner of the universe that hadn’t ever met Takashi Shirogane, but apparently he wasn’t needed even in the slice of life that he had carved out for himself.  
  
If he wasn’t meant to exist in the first place, it only made sense that he would be easily replaced.  
  
\----  
  
After they pulled up to the house that afternoon, Shiro pulled Vel aside before she followed Keith into the house. Curtains instead of doors meant there wasn’t a real place for private conversation inside the house. Keith looked at them, curiosity plain on his face, but he didn’t say anything as Shiro led Vel into the yard.  
  
“Am I in trouble?” Vel asked quietly.  
  
Takashi sighed and tried to relax the seriousness from his face. “You’re not in trouble, Vel. I just wanted to ask you something. Pyrika told me that you’ve told some of the other kids at school that Keith’s your dad. Is that true?”  
  
Vel curled in on herself, looking down with dropped ears and her tail tucking between her legs. “I’m sorry, daddy. I know I shouldn’t have said it. They asked if he was, because they’ve seen us together a lot, and I thought they were going to be mean again but they were really excited because their parents really like him and I wanted them to like me too.”  
  
“I know.” He bent down and wrapped his arms around her. She latched her arms tightly around his neck, buried her face in his chest, and sniffled. He stroked her back soothingly. “I know it’s been hard. But it’s always better to be honest. Lies will always catch up to you, especially if they involve other people.”  
  
“I’m sorry,” she said through hitching breaths. “I love you, daddy. I’m sorry if it sounded like I didn’t want you to be my daddy. I just… I wanted him to be, too.”  
  
“I know,” Shiro said, feeling very in over his head. He knew he couldn’t be everything for Vel, but Keith—Keith couldn’t be the one to fill in those missing pieces, no matter how much Shiro wished he could.  
  
“Is Keith mad at me?” Vel asked quietly without lifting her head.  
  
“Keith doesn’t know yet,” he said. “I wanted to hear about it from you before talking to him.”  
  
“I don’t want him to be mad.”  
  
“He’s not going to be mad.” Takashi stroked her back. “He’ll just want to understand why you said it.”  
  
Vel was quiet for a moment. “If he’s my daddy too, then he’ll stay. Like you.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
Vel drew back so he could see her face. “After mommy and daddy, no one wanted to stay with me. Uncle Sevit didn’t stay. Or Polia’s family, or Netika’s family. No one stayed until you, because you became my daddy. So if I want Keith to stay, then he has to be my daddy, too.”  
  
Takashi’s heart dropped. He hadn’t realized how much the instability during that point of Vel’s life had left a mark on her.  
  
“Oh, Vel.” Takashi drew her back in. “Keith isn’t like that. He’s not going to leave you, just because he’s not your dad.”  
  
Vel sniffled against his chest. “He will! I already know. He’s leaving with everyone else. To Earth.”  
  
“We can go with him, if you want.”  
  
Vel pulled back, this time in surprise.  
  
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about it,” Takashi said, letting go of her and sitting back. “Do you want to go see Earth? It doesn’t have to be permanent. I know Valnexia’s your home, and we can always come back here right after.”  
  
“What do you want?”  
  
Takashi was not prepared for that response. “Uh?”  
  
“Earth is your home, right? Do you want to go back?”  
  
“I do,” he admitted. “But I’m not going to leave you to do it. I haven’t been back in a long time. I’m not sure there’s a home for me there, anymore.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
Takashi supposed this conversation was just going to be where everything was laid out at once. Now how to explain this in a way Vel would understand. “So you know how I told you about how babies are born, right?”  
  
Vel stared at him like he wasn't making any sense, but she gamely said, “Yes?”  
  
“I was born a little differently. Basically, they took someone normal, someone who was born like that, and then made a copy of him. And that copy is me.”  
  
“A copy?”  
  
Takashi nodded. “When you make a copy of something living, it’s called a clone. So I’m a clone of a man named Takashi Shirogane from Earth.”  
  
Vel’s brows were pinched as she tried to take it in. “So… there’s two of you? Like twins?”  
  
“Kind of like that,” Takashi said. “Not exactly. We weren’t born at the same time. I’m not even sure he knows that I exist. And we have mostly the same memories, up until I landed here.”  
  
Vel nodded, though he could tell she didn’t fully understand. “So… will we meet him when we go to Earth?”  
  
Takashi let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He knew logically—and after seeing Melnor, Pyrika, and M’hille’s reactions—that Vel had no reason to react poorly to the revelation that he was a clone. But it was immensely more relieving to experience the easy way she took it in stride.  
  
But what else had she just said?  
  
“When we go?” he repeated.  
  
“I want to see Earth,” Vel said, hugging him. “And I want to stay with you. I grew up here, but… I don’t think I’ll miss it very much.”  
  
“You might change your mind about that,” Takashi said.  
  
“I don’t think so,” Vel said, her stubborn streak rearing its head. “But you said we could always come back, right? So we should go.”  
  
“All right,” Takashi said. “But if you ever change your mind, about anything, tell me right away, okay?”  
  
“Okay.” Vel tugged on his shirt a little, dragging him back to her question. “So then, when we’re on Earth, we’ll meet the other you?”  
  
“Yeah, we’ll meet him,” he said. “He’s kind of a big deal there.”  
  
“Cool,” Vel said. Then, “What about Keith?”  
  
“What about him?”  
  
“Well, if you like Keith, then he does too, right?” Vel said.  
  
Takashi bit the inside of his cheek. This was what he was worried about, back when he thought Keith was in a relationship with Acxa and he could tell Vel was growing attached. “He and Keith are married, princess,” he said. “It doesn’t mean anything’s going to change.” He stopped. That was just it. Nothing was going to change.  
  
“Oh,” she said. “So even if we go to Earth with him, he won’t stay?”  
  
“He has his own family,” Shiro said, “but it doesn’t mean he’s going to stop spending time with you. He isn’t that kind of person. He’s not going to disappear, even if maybe he won’t be there as much as he is now.”  
  
Vel was silent for a moment. Then she latched back onto his neck and said, almost too quietly for him to hear, “I really like him, daddy.”  
  
He wrapped his arms around her. “Me too, Vel. Me too.”  
  
Valnexia had no place for Vel, and the universe had no place for Takashi, but maybe together they could find somewhere they could call home.


	5. Chapter 5

Life post-revelation was much the same as it was before. No one treated Takashi any differently; as far as they were concerned, nothing about him had changed (and he supposed that nothing had). Keith still had dinner with them every evening, and afterwards he helped clean up, then sat outside with them in the living room, writing his messages or spending time with Vel. At night, they slept in the same bed, the distance between them never feeling larger, not even when Keith was universes away. He never mentioned the aborted kiss that had led to it all.  
  
And after Vel went to sleep, he still went outside every night and laid out on the grass, looking at the stars.  
  
Takashi didn’t have the heart to join him anymore.  
  
Instead, he busied himself with work.  
  
The school term had ended, and with Takashi’s impending departure, he had a lot of materials and duties to organize and hand off to others who would be entrusted to keep pushing the flight school forward. It was as much of a job as teaching was—even more, sometimes.  
  
If he wasn’t doing that, then he was starting to pack the few things that he and Vel wanted to bring to Earth and getting the rest of the house cleaned up and ready for its new occupants.  
  
Keith had informed Takashi that Vel’s uncle and his family were among those returning to Valnexia. It was clear that he remembered what Takashi had told him about the decision Sevit had made to leave her behind—his tone was that of great reluctance, and great distaste.  
  
Takashi decided he didn’t care. He and Vel were leaving indefinitely, and if they were to ever return to Valnexia, he was sure they would be able to find a place to stay. So he chose to leave the house to Sevit.  
  
Keith definitely noticed Takashi’s new distance. He wasn’t as open as he was before, his light a little dimmed, and Takashi noticed he would sometimes look like he wanted to say something before a resigned expression crossed his face and he abandoned the thought.  
  
Takashi told him about what Vel had been telling the kids at school. He had to repeat himself three times, and even then Keith’s expression remained incredibly confused.  
  
“I don’t—but—I mean—why? You’re already her dad!”  
  
“She could have more than one dad,” Takashi pointed out. “I told you about how Vel had an unstable home life before I adopted her. I guess at some point she made the connection that the only permanent figures in her life were parents, and she… Well, she wants you to be a permanent figure.”  
  
Keith’s eyes rounded. “Oh.”  
  
Takashi didn’t know how to read his reaction, but he wanted to give him an out, so he said, “I just thought you should know. I’ve already talked to her about lying, and she already knows not to expect anything more from you than you’re willing to offer.”  
  
“Oh,” Keith said again, but he sounded more thoughtful. “Thank you for telling me.”  
  
“Of course.”  
  
Keith did not take the out Takashi had offered; instead, he and Vel seemed to grow closer, if that were even possible. School had ended, and Keith seemed to spend every minute of his free time with Vel, talking or reading or drawing with her. If he wasn’t there, then the space wolf was. The wall began to fill with new drawings, and Keith began to feature heavily.  
  
Takashi tried to suggest to Vel that they should spend more time alone together, but she instantly saw through his attempt to encourage some distance between her and Keith and gave him an hour’s worth of the silent treatment.  
  
If there was one thing Takashi couldn’t bear, it was to watch Vel grow colder toward him. So he backed off, watching as she and Keith grew closer and closer each day while knowing that each day was bringing them closer to heartbreak.  
  
After a satellite launched into space, it would be able to maintain its orbit for some time before it plummeted back to Earth, burning itself in the atmosphere to protect the inhabitants down below. That was their relationship with Keith—they could maintain their orbit around each other for now, but it was destined to end in flames.  
  
And Takashi didn’t know what he would do with the ashes.  
  
\----  
  
All too soon, the Blades transport ship arrived.  
  
Pyrika had roped Takashi and M’hille into volunteering as shuttle drivers on the day of the transport ship’s arrival, taking people from the transport to their homes on Valnexia. Some of the passengers still had family on Valnexia; they would wait in the gardens at the capitol building to be picked up. The others would all need transportation.  
  
He had happened to be speaking with Melnor when they received the alert that the transport ship had entered the system, and so he ended up accompanying Melnor, Pyrika, Keith, Acxa, and the space wolf to the landing pad.  
  
Only a single Blade descended the ramp, hood up and mask cast on their face.  
  
Keith stilled as the Blade approached the group. “You didn’t tell me you were coming.”  
  
The mask flickered off to reveal Krolia’s face, lips quirked in a tired smile. Her eyes slid to Takashi, then back to Keith. Her expression didn’t change. “You didn’t tell me you were here.”  
  
“Kolivan,” Keith sighed.  
  
“Kolivan,” Krolia agreed.  
  
“Melnor and Pyrika, this is one of our senior members, Krolia,” Acxa said as the space wolf nosed at Krolia in greeting. Acxa’s voice was noticeably fonder where it lingered on Melnor’s name, and Krolia’s eyebrow quirked just the slightest bit. Acxa’s cheeks darkened. “Krolia, Melnor is in charge of the military here on Valnexia, and Pyrika runs affairs of the state. They’ve been helping us with our efforts.”  
  
Krolia shook their hands in turn. “Thank you for all your help. There are a lot of people on board who are excited to finally be home.”  
  
“And we have many people here who are excited to finally see them again,” Melnor said. “We’ve been waiting for their arrival. You can have them all come down into the gardens, and we’ll make sure they all end up in the right place.”  
  
“Thank you.” Krolia motioned Keith and Acxa to her, and together they all went back onto the transport.  
  
“So you know her, too?” Pyrika said, probably catching the look she had given him.  
  
“Ah, yeah.” He tried to decide if her identity was sensitive, then figured it would probably come out to this group anyways. “She’s Keith’s mother, actually.”  
  
Both Melnor and Pyrika visibly startled, then Melnor’s expression turned pensive. “They do look similar, now that you point it out. Almost eerily so.”  
  
Krolia’s presence made him a bit antsy. He didn’t know what she thought of him—the clone of her son’s husband, who her son had been spending an unreasonable amount of time with. Would she support Keith’s relationship with him and Vel? Or would she, like Acxa, warn him off Keith to prevent any awkwardness once they returned to Earth?  
  
He didn’t want to think about it, so he decided he wouldn’t for now. “I’m going to head back and start getting the shuttles are ready.”  
  
Pyrika and Melnor waved him off, and he occupied himself with gathering all the shuttle volunteers and their cruisers by the gardens. When the passengers from the transport ship started trickling in, he volunteered to take the first family, and his morning became an endless stream of taking people to and from the capitol building.  
  
He had completed three trips before one of the volunteers helping tell everyone where to go said, “Oh, Shiro, your family is here.”  
  
Takashi was momentarily thrown, first by being addressed as _Shiro_ , then by the words _your family_. Then he remembered that he hadn’t really told everyone about his name change, and he didn’t interact with this Valnexian enough to have mentioned it. And then he realized she was just reading families off the sheet, which meant the family she was referring to in this case was the one who would be taking over his house.  
  
“Sevit,” he said, spotting the familiar black-and-blue fur.  
  
“Shiro!” Sevit patted him on the shoulder, looking genial as ever. Sevit had a pleasant face that gave off the air of a generally likable person and tended to draw people towards his assumed good nature.  
  
But Sevit’s history with Vel couldn’t be forgotten, and as far as Takashi was concerned, Sevit was always just one poorly-worded sentence away from igniting his temper. He resolved to keep their interactions as short as possible.  
  
“I go by Takashi now. It’s good to see you again.” He could be cordial.  
  
Sevit looked around Takashi. “Is Velnar—“  
  
“She’s fine,” Takashi said. “She’s just inside. You’ll see her back at the house later, after all this is sorted.”  
  
“I see. I appreciate you letting us stay in the house while we get back on our feet,” Sevit said.  
  
Takashi blinked. “Oh, I think there’s been a misunderstanding.” Concern fell over Sevit’s face, and Takashi quickly added, “The house is going to be yours. Vel and I will be leaving for Earth with the Blades tomorrow.”  
  
The concern on Sevit’s face only deepened. “Earth? Are you sure it will be good for Velnar to grow up so far away from her own kind? Maybe it would be better for her to stay here, with family.”  
  
A sudden fury washed over Takashi, surprising himself with the force of it.  
  
*Maybe you should have considered that before you left her alone, then.*  
  
Takashi bit back the rush of anger and forced himself to breathe. “We've talked it over. She’s looking forward to seeing where I'm from, and we’ll see how she feels after some time away. We’ll have the capabilities to come back in the future.”  
  
“With all due respect, Velnar is far too young to know what she wants.”  
  
“With all due respect, Velnar is in my care, and I think she's perfectly capable of making her own decisions,” Takashi said before he could stop himself. Then he sighed and pushed his bangs back. “Look, Sevit, I don't want to argue with you. I'll talk it over with Vel again, but if she wants to go—“  
  
“I’m telling you that this isn’t a choice you should have offered her in the first place.”  
  
“Takashi.” A hand, clawed and gloved in armor, landed on his shoulder. “I need your help with something for a moment.”  
  
He turned to see Krolia standing there without her mask.  
  
“Why don’t you get your family,” Takashi said to Sevit. “I’ll come get you all in a bit.”  
  
“He sounds like a jerk,” Krolia said as she led him away from the gardens and into the building.  
  
“He’s just trying to look out for Vel.” He could understand Sevit’s motivations, even if he hated the fact that Sevit felt like he had the right.  
  
“Is he?” Krolia closed the door to the meeting room behind them. “Doesn’t seem like it to me.”  
  
Takashi sat on the edge of the table. “I’m no one’s first choice as Vel’s guardian. Everyone knows that.”  
  
“Well, that’s not true. I’m sure you’d be Vel’s first choice.”  
  
“I don’t know. I think she’d prefer Keith at this moment,” he said, not without bitterness. Then he realized this was Krolia’s son he was talking about and looked up guiltily. “Not saying it’s Keith’s fault. It’s mine. Everyone’s always thinking she would have done better with someone else as her guardian, someone more like her in some way. Maybe they’re not wrong. Maybe I’ve just been messing everything up.”  
  
Krolia looked at him speculatively. “The entire time I was carrying Keith, my greatest fear was completely screwing him up as a person. I’m serious,” she said at Takashi’s startled laugh. “I’m a resistance fighter. My own parents passed a long time ago. I didn’t know the first thing about being a mother. Still don’t. I had to leave before I had the chance to figure anything out. And his dad… he was just as scared of screwing up as I was. And then he had to do it alone. Like you.  
  
“But most of the time, I think our kids become who they are despite us.” Krolia crossed her arms. “What I’m saying is, I know you’re doing the best you can given your circumstances, and even if you mess it up here and there, you probably can’t screw her up too badly all by yourself. So don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”  
  
That was… oddly touching. “Thanks, Krolia. That means a lot.”  
  
They sat in silence for a moment, then Takashi recalled why Krolia had pulled him aside in the first place. “Oh, what did you need from me?”  
  
“Nothing.” She opened the door. “Figured you just needed a break from that asshole. Sure you’re okay living with him?”  
  
“It’s only one night,” Takashi said. “And he’s really not so bad. We just have… history that makes it hard for me to deal with him. I appreciate your concern, though.”  
  
“I know you,” Krolia said, “from what Keith has told me, and from what I’ve observed on my own. You try to understand people. And from what I can tell, he doesn’t seem as obnoxious as Slav, so for you to dislike him so much, I think it’s safe to say he’s an asshole.”  
  
Takashi laughed. He couldn’t argue with that.  
  
“Don’t let him get to you. You’re better than that.” Krolia patted his shoulder before walking off.  
  
It was nearing lunch, so Takashi decided to check on Vel before he left with Sevit. He went into the library where he had left Vel that morning. He was surprised to see she wasn’t alone; Keith was sitting next to her, their heads bent over something in their hands. Bundles of multicolored yarn sat between them on the table.  
  
They both looked up at his approach. Vel frowned, and Keith looked between them in concern. He handed something to Vel and made vague excuses, standing to leave before Takashi realized what was going on.  
  
“You don’t have to—” he started, but Keith was already out the door.  
  
Vel looked distinctly unhappy as he occupied Keith’s vacated seat, head down and hands closed in her lap around whatever it was that Keith had given her.  
  
“I wasn’t going to ask him to leave,” he said.  
  
“Uh-huh.” She didn’t look at him.  
  
He tried a different tactic. “I’m sorry I had to leave you alone all morning. Have you been doing okay?”  
  
“Uh-huh.”  
  
“What’s wrong, princess?”  
  
“Nothing.”  
  
“Vel—“  
  
“Nothing’s wrong!” Vel stood, the chair skittering behind her.  
  
Takashi heard a gasp and looked up to see Pyrika standing in the doorway like a deer in headlights.  
  
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Pyrika said, almost whispered. “I told Vel I’d take her out for lunch.”  
  
“Let’s go.” Vel took the yarn from the table and shoved it into her bag before all but running to Pyrika’s side. She didn’t look up at Takashi at all.  
  
It broke his heart.  
  
Pyrika looked at him uncertainly. “I’m not sure—“  
  
“Just go.” He sighed heavily. “Have a good lunch, Vel.”  
  
Pyrika nudged Vel, encouraging her to respond, but she refused, her stubborn streak rearing its head once more. Eventually, Pyrika left, after throwing one last worried glance Takashi’s way.  
  
Takashi waited for their steps to disappear down the hallway. Then he buried his face in his hands and cried.  
  
\----  
  
Takashi was in a downright terrible mood the rest of the day.  
  
He was perfectly cordial to Sevit and his family, if not quite friendly, and he could feel the weight of Sevit’s disapproving gaze but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He skipped lunch and kept driving until Keith pulled him aside while he was waiting between trips and put a plate of food in front of him.  
  
“Eat. Mom said you’ve been going nonstop.”  
  
“Thanks, Keith, but I’m not really hungry.” He started to get up, but Keith grabbed him by the shoulders and held him down with surprising strength.  
  
“What is going on with you?”  
  
“I’m really not in a good mood,” Takashi said. “Just let me be upset for a little bit. Please.”  
  
Keith let go of him. “Do you want me to stop spending time with Vel?”  
  
Takashi used to be impressed by how perceptive Keith was. Now he wished that Keith were slightly less so, if only so he wouldn’t have to have this conversation.  
  
“No.” Takashi withered under Keith’s piercing gaze. “Don’t. That’d break her heart.”  
  
“But you want me to,” Keith said.  
  
“It’s not that I want you to,” Takashi said, then realized he sounded far too frustrated at Keith for something that wasn’t really his fault, so he sighed and toned it back. “Look, Keith. I know we’re not going to be together like this forever. I just don’t want Vel to get too attached.”  
  
“Right.” Keith’s face was stony. “She shouldn’t get too attached.” Something about his voice was too flat, too stiff.  
  
Takashi frowned. He hadn’t meant to upset him. He only meant to discuss the reality of the situation—that Keith already had his own home and his own Shiro to think of. “Keith?”  
  
“It’s nothing.” Keith stood up. “I gotta keep working, but you should seriously eat before you head out again. I’ll be catching up with my mom tonight, so leave without me. See you tonight.”  
  
Takashi just couldn’t say anything right today.  
  
His instincts demanded he not waste food, so he tried to eat some of the lunch that Keith had left for him, but it all just tasted like misery so he abandoned his attempts after the third bite. He ended up carrying it with him as he drove around the rest of the afternoon, until he finally admitted to himself that he wasn’t going to eat it and dumped the remains in the trash, hating himself all the while.  
  
He had thought about what to say to Vel all day, but nothing seemed adequate. Even so, he couldn’t put it off forever, so as the sun set, he dragged himself to the library to take Vel home. He was surprised to see that Vel was asleep in a large armchair, nestled in a hundred pounds of blue and black fur.  
  
The space wolf looked up at Shiro’s approach and licked the side of Vel’s head, stirring her awake.  
  
She blinked rapidly as she woke up until her eyes finally opened fully and focused on Shiro. She slid out of the nest that the space wolf had made for her, coming to stand beside the chair, but didn’t move closer. “Hi, daddy.”  
  
“Hi, princess.” He went to kneel down in front of her. “Can I give you a hug?”  
  
She nodded, and he reached out to wrap his arms around her. This was good. This was grounding. If he could still have this, then he hadn’t lost everything yet.  
  
She hugged him back, squeezing tight, and said, “I love you, daddy. I’m sorry I was mean.”  
  
“I’m sorry too, Vel.” He drew back. “I don’t want to stop you from spending time with Keith. I’m just worried about what’s going to happen after, if he doesn’t have time to spend with us anymore.”  
  
“If he won’t have time to spend with us anymore later,” Vel said, “then shouldn’t we spend as much time as we can with him now?”  
  
He laughed, softly. “You’re right.”  
  
Takashi almost envied the simplicity with which Vel saw the world—that in the face of inevitable loss, you should give yourself fully, now, so that you wouldn’t have room for regret later. Keith had lived much the same way, from what Takashi remembered. Even after Takashi had rebuffed his awkward and misguided teenaged crush, Keith had given himself as fully to their relationship as always.  
  
Takashi wondered where he had learned to hide from rejection and loss instead.  
  
He looked down at the feeling of Vel pressing something into his hands. It was a ring, made of woven yarn—the yarn she had been playing with in the library that day.  
  
“For you. I have one too.” She held up her hand to show him the ring strung around her index finger.  
  
“Thanks, Vel.” It was too small to fit on any of his fingers except his pinky, and even then only to the first knuckle, but he tugged it on as tightly as he could. “Now we’re matching.”  
  
“Yeah!” She linked their fingers together, the yarn rings resting together. “This means we love each other, no matter what. Even if we’re mad, or sad, or mean.” She looked abashed. “But we shouldn’t be mean.”  
  
“We definitely shouldn’t be mean,” Takashi agreed.  
  
“Pinky promise,” Vel said, wiggling their joined fingers. “No matter what.”  
  
No matter what happened when they left the planet, when Vel would inevitably begin feeling the pangs of homesickness.  
  
No matter what happened when they arrived on Earth, and Takashi would really feel what it meant to be someone extraneous in the grand scheme of the universe.  
  
And no matter what happened as they lost Pyrika, and M’hille, and Keith, and the space wolf—the tiny community that they had built around their even tinier family.  
  
The two of them were survivors, he and Vel. And the could make it through. Together.  
  
Takashi curled his finger tightly around Vel’s, squeezing it in promise. “No matter what.”


	6. Chapter 6

Takashi and Vel returned home alone that night. They had planned to also take the wolf, but he had barked and blinked out of existence as soon as Takashi stood up to leave.  
  
They had barely gotten through the door when Sevit asked to take Vel out to dinner before they left Valnexia. It was clear that Takashi wasn’t invited, and he pointedly left it to Vel to decide whether or not she wanted to go. She agreed, so Takashi bid them a good evening and resigned himself to a lonely evening of leftovers and packing the last of their things.  
  
He had just finished with Vel’s suitcase and was starting to pack up his own closet when the front door opened and closed. He looked up, frowning. It seemed quick for the whole family to be done with dinner. Then he heard Keith’s familiar gait and relaxed.  
  
Sure enough, after a few moments, Keith stepped in through the curtains and surveyed the scene before him—Takashi sitting on the floor, piles of clothing strewn all about him.  
  
“Hey, Keith,” Takashi said to draw his attention away from the stacks of briefs. “How was your night?”  
  
“Good. Was nice catching up with Mom in person. It’s been a few months.” Keith picked his way through the maze of clothing and sat down cross-legged beside him. His eyes caught on the yarn ring wedged onto Takashi’s little finger, but he didn’t comment on it. “Did your day get any better?”  
  
“Yeah,” Takashi said. “Thanks. And sorry, for blowing up on you.”  
  
Keith waved him off. “That was hardly blowing up. You should’ve seen what I did to Iverson after… well, after.”  
  
Takashi didn’t have to ask to know what had set Keith off. Keith had told him, before, about the Garrison’s insistence that the Kerberos mission had failed due to pilot error, and the new Kerberos rescue simulation they had introduced. Keith had gotten heated just relating the incidents to Takashi; it wasn’t hard to imagine how he had snapped.  
  
But he never exactly specified what he did, exactly, when he snapped, only that it had resulted in his expulsion and subsequent self-exile into the desert.  
  
“Keith,” Takashi said, slowly. “What did you do to Commander Iverson.”  
  
Keith looked away and tugged at his braid. “He… may not be able to see out of one of his eyes anymore.”  
  
“Keith!”  
  
“But I talked to him when I was back on Earth!” Keith said. “We’re cool now.”  
  
Takashi couldn’t imagine a world where Keith and Iverson were _cool_ , especially after Keith had apparently _knocked his eye out_ , but he supposed he would see it for himself soon enough.  
  
“You excited to be going back?” Keith said in a none-too-subtle attempt to change the subject.  
  
Takashi let him have it. “Excited,” he repeated. The word didn’t have the right shape to it. He longed for it, in a way. But he was also afraid of it—of knowing that he was about to go somewhere he would have to force open a new space for himself. The slot meant for Takashi Shirogane had already been filled by someone else. Was actually made for someone else.  
  
The thought of staying here, though—staying away from all the friends and family and memories he had made in the past. Away from Keith.  
  
That thought was even more unbearable.  
  
“I’m not sure excited is the word I would use,” Takashi said, finally. “Scared, maybe. But happy.”  
  
Keith hummed, and Takashi watched helplessly as he reached down into the clothing stack and started to help fold Takashi’s underwear. “What are you scared of?”  
  
Takashi suspected Keith knew, but he answered anyways. “Not having a home. Being mistrusted. Sounds like the other Shiro clone didn’t exactly leave a good impression on everyone.” His eyes drifted to the scar cutting across Keith’s face.  
  
“That wasn’t his fault,” Keith said. “They know better than to judge you for the circumstances of your birth, as it were.”  
  
Takashi didn’t believe him, but he could respect the effort. “Thanks. I guess the first thing I really should worry about is finding somewhere to stay while we’re there. Maybe just a hotel would be fine, though, in case we don’t end up staying long.”  
  
Keith frowned. “You don’t want to stay on Earth?”  
  
“I don’t think I have a home there, really,” Shiro said. “And I don’t know how Vel’s going to feel. I’ve been thinking maybe it makes more sense for us to live out in space. Maybe we could join the Blades’ rescue efforts. Do I qualify if my daughter’s part Galra?”  
  
“If that’s how you feel, we’d love to have both of you,” Keith said, soft as he always was when he was talking about Vel. “There are kids on the base now, and a school. It’s actually pretty nice. And as far as your time on Earth goes, you’re welcome to stay with me, if you’re comfortable with it. It’s only fair, considering how long I’ve been bumming it here with you,” he added with a smirk. “Plus, it might be nice for Vel to have some familiarity.”  
  
“I appreciate the offer,” Takashi said, and he really did, but— “I don’t know how she would get along living with Shiro, though. It might be weird.”  
  
Keith’s brow creased. “With… Shiro?”  
  
Takashi frowned. Maybe Keith and Shiro still maintained separate quarters at the Garrison? It made sense, he supposed, given both their high statuses. “Sorry, I just assumed you would be living together, since you’re married, but—”  
  
“Wait. I think something got messed up here,” Keith said, expression still pinched. “We’re not married.”  
  
Takashi’s heart thudded painfully in his chest. He had thought Acxa was saying that Keith and Shiro were married, and he should quit before he broke his own heart and Vel’s. But maybe it was something else that Acxa was trying to tell him that day.  
  
“Shiro is married,” he said.  
  
“Yes.” Keith’s gaze was steadfast. “Not to me.” His tone didn’t change, but his expression was raw, and it hurt to see it.  
  
Takashi felt hot and cold all at once. There were too many things to say, and he couldn’t decide which one of them he should say first. What came out was, “He—why not? He loves you, doesn’t he?”  
  
“I—he does,” Keith said, an uncertain lilt to his tone. “But the kind of love where he just wants me in his life, not beside him. I know you tried to… you know.” Takashi stared in wonder as Keith blushed and stumbled over the thought of their short-lived kiss. “But you’ve been a little distant since then, so I thought—I thought you felt the same way.”  
  
Takashi yanked his underwear out of Keith’s hands and tossed it aside so that he could intertwine their fingers. He didn’t know what the hell had been going on in the real Shiro’s mind, but his was clear. “Keith, the only reason I backed off was because I didn’t want to make things weird for you. Because I thought you already had Shiro.”  
  
Keith blinked at him, still uncertain. “So you…“  
  
“I love you,” Takashi said. “I love you so, so much. I love what you’re doing for the Valnexians, and for the entire universe. I love how you take care of Vel. I love how you take care of me. I’ve experienced life without you beside me—and actually, up until you got here, I thought that was going to be the rest of my life. I don’t want to do it again.”  
  
Keith looked down. “I don’t understand.”  
  
Takashi let go of Keith’s hands to cup Keith’s face, guiding it up to look into his eyes. They were glimmering with uncertainty, and a bit of fear that Takashi wanted to smooth away. “I told you before, Earth isn’t the home I was missing. It was you. You’re my home, Keith. And I want to be with you, no matter where that takes us.”  
  
Keith's jaw was trembling under his hands. Takashi surged forward and kissed him, a little too rushed, and a little too desperate, but this time Keith didn’t draw away. His tears were salty where they spilled down his cheeks and onto their lips.  
  
Takashi moved his arms to wrap around Keith’s back and shoulders, as though pressing every inch of them together would help him convey everything that he wanted to say, and more. If he held him tight enough, then maybe Keith would hold him back, and never let him go.  
  
And Keith did hold him back, hands coming to circle around Takashi’s neck. He pulled away from the kiss with a shaky gasp and a soft sob, and Takashi leaned in to kiss his tears away. “I love you. I love you so much.” He took one of Keith’s hands and guided it to his chest, over his heart. “You gave me your heart, so long ago, and you didn’t ask for anything in return. Now I’m giving you mine. This is yours, now and forever. I'm not letting you go again.”  
  
Keith was crying in earnest now, burying his face against Takashi’s shoulder and neck. “I didn’t—I didn't want to lose you again. I didn’t want to have to watch you leave.”  
  
“You won’t. Never again.”  
  
He didn’t have a good track record for keeping his promises when it came to Keith, but he wanted to. God did he want to.  
  
He held Keith tightly, looked at this fissure in Keith’s calm and quiet facade and wondered how much Keith had been hiding. Aside from that day early on when Takashi had caught him crying in the gardens, Keith had seemed so in control of himself and his reactions. Had he been crying over the real Shiro, then? Had Takashi brought back bad memories?  
  
He wanted to be upset at Shiro for giving Keith reason for tears, but he felt more guilty for failing to notice, all along.  
  
Eventually, Keith’s crying settled down into the occasional hitching gasps. “Ugh. I’m such a mess.” He wiped his eyes on the fabric of Takashi’s sleeve. Takashi couldn’t even be upset about it.  
  
“You’re beautiful,” Takashi said, brushing his hair out of his eyes and kissing him again.  
  
Keith pushed him away, but he was blushing. “Yeah, snot and tears are such a great look.”  
  
“Anything’s a great look on you.”  
  
Keith’s look turned a bit disbelieving, a bit resigned. He sniffed. “I forgot how much of a hopeless flatterer you used to be. I haven’t seen you do it since—” He cut himself off with a guilty glance.  
  
Takashi knew what he was going to say. “Since Adam.”  
  
“Yeah,” Keith said, suddenly very, very quiet.  
  
Takashi realized that he had barely even thought about Adam. Ever since waking up, his thoughts of Earth and home had mainly revolved around Keith. He could recognize that it wasn’t such a bad thing that Adam had barely featured in his hopes and dreams—they hadn’t been together for many, many years at this point, and he wouldn’t say they parted on the best of terms. But he knew that all those years they did spend caring for each other still meant something, even a decade later.  
  
“How… how is he?” Takashi said. “Is he happy?”  
  
“The Galra came to Earth,” Keith said, slowly, and it sounded like he was choosing every word with great care. A coil of dread curled in Takashi’s gut, and Keith didn’t muddle around before saying what Takashi feared he’d say. “Adam didn’t make it. I’m so sorry, Takashi.”  
  
“Oh.” It hurt more than he expected to hear it, and he put a hand over his chest as if he could soothe the ache in his heart. He felt his eyes welling with tears.  
  
Keith knelt up and wrapped his arms back around him. “I’m sorry you had to find out like this. I know you really cared for him. There’s a memorial, at the Garrison. I’ll take you when we’re on Earth.”  
  
Takashi closed his eyes against his tears. It felt silly to cry over a man whose last words to him were basically that he didn’t want to see him again. But their love was an important part of his young adult life. He truly hoped Adam had some happiness in his final moments.  
  
Takashi opened his eyes again, and tried to smile a little in the face of Keith’s worried gaze. He supposed this wasn’t the first time Keith had had to comfort a Shiro about Adam. His heart ached again, for Keith.  
  
“It must have been hard for you,” he murmured.  
  
Keith frowned, drawing back. “What?”  
  
“To comfort Shiro over a past love, and to watch him move on to someone new,” Takashi said. “You love him too, don’t you?”  
  
“I do,” Keith said, and it wasn’t in the past tense. “I always will. His happiness—your happiness. That’s the most important thing to me. If that means spending his life with someone else, I’ll support him. I’ll support you.”  
  
“That’s…” Takashi trailed off. He didn’t have the words for what that was. That kind of passionate, unconditional love was something he didn’t think he deserved. Or that he was worthy of, especially from Keith.  
  
He wondered again about the real Shiro, and what could have happened to him to make this—to make _Keith_ —something he was capable of letting go of.  
  
“You were always everything to me,” Keith said. “You still are. After Dad died, I didn’t have anyone until you came along, so I gave everything to you to make you happy… every single part of me until there wasn’t anything left to give.”  
  
Keith looked down at his hands. “I supported him when Shiro started dating again. I helped him plan the proposal, and I was his best man for the wedding. It wasn’t really real to me until the ceremony that this meant Shiro was giving himself to another person, and there wasn’t going to be anything left for me afterwards.”  
  
Takashi nodded, following along the map of himself that Keith was laying bare before him. “So you left.”  
  
“So I left. My life was split between protecting you and protecting the universe. If Shiro was putting his life in someone else’s hands, I felt like it only made sense for me to come back out here.”  
  
“What about living for yourself?”  
  
“My dad was a firefighter who died saving people and my mom is a super spy for an organization whose mantra was literally knowledge or death,” Keith said. “I’m not sure being selfish with my life was ever an option for me.”  
  
“I think there’s a difference between being selfish, and recognizing that you have value as a person, regardless of what you’re doing for the universe or anyone else in it.”  
  
Keith smiled a little. “I’m not sure I believe that.”  
  
“I’ll remind you of it.”  
  
“Might take a lot of reminders,” Keith said. “A lifetime’s worth, maybe.”  
  
“Then I’ll just have to keep reminding you,” Takashi said, taking his hands. “As many times as it takes.”  
  
Keith froze, looking at him with wide eyes, and Takashi knew that, like him, he was thinking of the last time he said those words—the last time he had saved Takashi.  
  
Keith leaned in, kissing him again, harder and more demanding than before. Instead of chastely looping around his neck, Keith’s hands found the planes of Takashi’s back and slid up, up, up until they gripped at his shoulderblades. Takashi wrapped one arm around Keith’s shoulders and one arm around his lower back and used his grip to gently lower Keith to the ground, lightly pinning him with the weight of his body.  
  
Keith turned his face away, breaking the kiss. “We’re laying on your clothes.”  
  
“Don’t care.” Takashi leaned over to recapture Keith’s lips.  
  
He wanted it all, and more. The feeling of Keith’s hands on his body, and his lips on his own—every touch, every kiss whispering promises of love. The image of him, relaxed and gentle, hair askew and cheeks flushed. They didn’t really have time to do anything else—Vel and Sevit would be returning soon—but this was already more than he could have dreamed.  
  
They broke apart with a soft sigh.  
  
Keith’s hands lightly stroked his biceps. “Where do we go from here?”  
  
“I already told you what I want,” Takashi said, kissing the tip of his nose and adoring how it wrinkled. “You, forever. If you’ll have me.”  
  
“You know I will.” Keith’s smile was soft.  
  
“You, me, and Vel,” Takashi said. “Living in space and saving the universe. Doesn’t sound like a bad life to me.”  
  
“You sure you want to live with the Blades?” Keith said. “My mom’s on base a lot, you know. Co-leadership aside, she’s definitely got a thing with Kolivan.”  
  
“Is that supposed to be a downside?” Takashi said. “I love your mom.”  
  
Keith laughed and kissed him. “I love her too.”  
  
The front door creaked open, the voices of Sevit’s family drifting through.  
  
Takashi rolled off Keith and tugged him up quickly. Keith took out his braid and ran his fingers through his hair to disguise the mess the floor had made of it before they both went back into the living room.  
  
“Daddy!” Vel leapt into Takashi’s arms.  
  
He kissed her cheek and swung her around. “Hey, princess. Did you have a good time?”  
  
“Yeah,” she said, but she sounded subdued to Takashi’s ears. He frowned and made a note to ask her about it later.  
  
“Thanks for taking her out,” Takashi said.  
  
“Of course we’d like to spend a last night with her before you move,” Sevit said. His smile was tight, enough so that Keith began looking between the both of them with a concerned frown.  
  
Takashi gave Keith a subtle shake of his head. He knew Keith already wasn’t a fan, and he wasn’t sure how much Krolia had told him of his confrontation with Sevit that afternoon, but the night before he left Valnexia for the foreseeable future was not the time to create a scene.  
  
“I’m glad she had the chance to see all of you again,” Takashi said.  
  
“Daddy, I’m tired,” Vel said, tugging at his Keith-snot-covered shirt. He needed to remind her to wash her hands.  
  
“Sure, we can go to bed now,” he said. Vel would be sleeping with them for a night to give Sevit’s family a room of their own to stay in. “Did you say good night to everyone?”  
  
Vel turned her head to Sevit’s family and said, “Good night,” before releasing a very realistic yawn and leaning her head against Takashi’s shoulder.  
  
“We’ll see you all in the morning,” Takashi said. “Good night.”  
  
“Good night,” Sevit said.  
  
Vel was quiet as they retreated to the bedroom.  
  
“You okay?” Takashi said quietly, setting her on the bed and sitting next to her.  
  
Keith entered behind them and remained awkwardly hovering by the doorframe.  
  
“Yeah.” She looked between Takashi and Keith, and Takashi could tell Keith was about to make an excuse to leave the room when she said, “Daddy, when you go home to Earth, do you really want me to go with you?”  
  
“Oh, Vel,” Takashi breathed. “Of course I do. Don’t doubt that for a second.”  
  
“What if…” She picked at her tail. “What if I decided I wanted to stay here?”  
  
“Then I’ll stay here,” Takashi said. His heart dropped at the thought, but he had made commitments to Vel—commitments that there was no doubt he would keep. “I’m not leaving you, princess.” He drew her into his arms, and met Keith’s eyes over the top of her head. Keith’s answering smile was understanding.  
  
Vel squeezed him back. “Sevit said leaving here was the most important thing to you. More important than me.”  
  
Takashi felt his frustration with Sevit simmering, but he knew that wasn’t productive to reassuring Vel.  
  
Keith knelt down beside them. “Sevit doesn’t know your dad, Vel. Not like I do. And I know that you are absolutely the most important person in his life, and he’s not going to let you go. Even if that means he doesn’t go back to Earth.”  
  
Vel turned her head to look at Keith. Takashi couldn’t see her expression, but it made Keith smile and reach up to swipe at her cheek with his thumb. It came away wet with tears.  
  
“You’re okay, princess,” Keith said, petting her head as she laid it against Shiro’s chest. “It’s going to be okay.”  
  
“I want to go,” Vel said. “I want to go with you.” She looked at Keith. “And I—I want you to stay too. I know daddy said you couldn't—“  
  
“Vel—“  
  
“—but I wanted you to be my other daddy. And I know you can’t because you have another family—“  
  
“Vel—“  
  
“—but I really like you, and I don’t want to lose you.”  
  
“I really like you too, Vel,” Keith said, kissing her forehead. “And even if I did have another family, I would still want to be part of your life.”  
  
Vel, sharp as ever, said, “What do you mean, even if?”  
  
“I might have misunderstood Keith’s situation,” Takashi said.  
  
“Understatement,” Keith said, bumping his shoulder against Takashi’s waist.  
  
Takashi smiled down at him. “Keith isn’t married, Vel.”  
  
“Oh.” Vel said, head whipping between the two of them. “ _Oh_. So does that mean _you’ll_ get married?”  
  
“Oh, that’s—” _A little soon_ , Takashi was going to say, but was it really? He and Keith had a long history, and even though they had just reunited, they had fallen back together like it was nothing, in spite of all the misunderstandings that had gotten in their way. And they had just pledged forever to each other. He looked at Keith. “Um, are we?”  
  
Keith gave him a dumbfounded look.  
  
“You should do it,” Vel said.  
  
“And you’re not biased at all, right?” Takashi pinched her cheek, and she giggled through her tears.  
  
“Then I could call him daddy, couldn’t I?”  
  
“You could do that anyways, if you wanted to,” Takashi said. “Provided Keith’s okay with it.” From Keith’s reaction the first time Takashi told him about the situation, he figured Keith would be.  
  
“I feel like maybe you should pick a different word,” Keith said, though he was blushing. “Takashi’s your daddy, isn’t he?”  
  
Vel turned to him. “You could be mommy.”  
  
“Um,” Keith said. “No, thanks.”  
  
“Guardian?”  
  
Keith stared at her, perplexed.  
  
“It’s the gender neutral term in Valnexian,” Takashi said. “It doesn’t translate well.”  
  
“Oh,” Keith said. “Right. Maybe not that one, either.”  
  
“So it has to be daddy.”  
  
“Uh.” Keith looked at Takashi.  
  
He shrugged.  
  
Keith’s shoulders slumped. “Daddy it is.”  
  
Takashi patted Vel’s side. “Let me get up for a sec, sweetheart.”  
  
He happened to have a ring—one that was too small for him, but would probably fit just right on Keith’s slimmer fingers. He didn’t ask Vel about repurposing her gift, but he was sure she would approve. He pulled the yarn ring off his knuckle, closing it in his fist, and knelt in front of Keith.  
  
“Keith, you—“  
  
“I saw that. Are you really about to propose to me with a yarn ring that I made?”  
  
Takashi opened his hand to look at the ring, then at Vel, who he had presumed was the one who made the ring. That explained why it was too small for him.  
  
“He saw me making one and wanted to learn,” Vel said innocently. Too innocently.  
  
“Vel runs this household,” Takashi said.  
  
Keith smirked. “I’ve noticed.”  
  
“Just making sure you know what you’ll be getting yourself into if you say yes,” Shiro said, offering up the ring sitting in his palm. “Keith. I’ve said a lot tonight—we’ve said a lot tonight—so I’ll keep this simple. I can’t imagine waking up another morning without knowing you’ll be there by my side. Will you spend the rest of your life with me?”  
  
“Say yes,” Vel whispered.  
  
“Yes, you gigantic sap,” Keith said.  
  
Takashi put his hand over Vel’s eyes as he leaned in to kiss Keith, and she squealed.  
  
“I know what you’re doing,” she said, though she didn’t make a move to pull Takashi’s hand off. “I’ve seen Aunt Pyrika and Aunt M’hille do it too.”  
  
“I don’t know why I ever thought Pyrika was a good influence,” Takashi said, drawing back and letting Vel see again.  
  
“Do you want one too?” Keith said.  
  
Vel leaned in and offered her forehead for him to peck.  
  
Takashi’s heart swelled, and he wrapped his arms around them both. He didn’t care what else the universe had in store. If he could just have this, him and Keith and Vel, then that would be enough. Please, he thought, please. Let him keep this bit of happiness he had found for himself.  
  
That would be enough.


	7. Chapter 7

Takashi was a bundle of nerves the next day.  
  
Keith had left early to help prep the transport, leaving Takashi alone to double and triple and quadruple check their bags until Vel tired of his fretting and pushed him out of the house. Sevit took in Vel’s clearly happy countenance and didn’t say another word about their departure. They parted on the best of terms Takashi could muster.  
  
When they got to the capitol building, Pyrika and M’hille were already sitting in the gardens, heads together and talking quietly.  
  
Pyrika immediately ran up to throw her arms around Vel. “Aw, I’m gonna miss you, little one. You’re gonna have to remember to come visit your Aunt Pyrika some time, okay?”  
  
“I’ll miss you too,” Vel said. “Daddy doesn’t know anything about puberty.”  
  
“Don’t you worry.” Pyrika let Vel go and picked up something off the ground. “I got you a going away present. Ta da!” She held out a book, clearly hand-bound and handwritten in Valnexian, titled _Everything You Need to Know About Badass Valnexian Women_.  
  
Takashi flipped through it. It covered different stages of Valnexian development and what to expect and how to handle changes, with qualifications throughout about “Galra genes though?!”  
  
“This is really great,” Takashi said, reaching over to hug Pyrika. “Thank you so much.”  
  
Pyrika sighed, and her eyes were shiny, her ears droopy. “What am I going to do without you all?”  
  
Shiro patted her shoulder. “You’ll be amazing, like you always are. This isn’t goodbye forever.”  
  
“You don’t know that.”  
  
M’hille took her arm. “You’re talking to the best pilots on the planet. If we say we’re going to come back, we’re going to come back.”  
  
“M’hille!” Pyrika threw her arms up and around M’hille dramatically, and M’hille hugged her back with the fondest expression he’d ever seen from her. It must be hard for them to separate, and he realized Pyrika’s dramatics were just a way for her to avoid acknowledging the seriousness of the situation.  
  
Pyrika drew back after a few long moments, looking back at Takashi and with significantly wetter eyes. Then she frowned and grabbed M’hille’s face, making her look too. She pointed at Vel. “Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”  
  
M’hille’s eyes narrowed. “I am.”  
  
“Remind me which finger the marriage band goes on for Earthlings,” Pyrika said, and Takashi realized they weren’t looking at Vel, but at his hand behind her and the yarn ring looped incriminatingly around his finger.  
  
It turned out that Vel really had made him a yarn ring after all; she had just given him Keith’s out of some nefarious scheme. After the impromptu proposal, she had deigned to give Shiro the ring originally intended for him so that they all could match.  
  
“I’m gonna have another daddy!” Vel said.  
  
Pyrika screeched. Next to her, M’hille looked like she was having a heart attack, though Takashi suspected it was more from the high frequency noise emitted right by her ear than at the news.  
  
It said something about Pyrika that the Valnexians around them turned to look at the noise, then immediately went about their business when they realized she was the source of it.  
  
“I don’t even—when? How?”  
  
“It’s Keith, right?” M’hille said. “I thought you said he was already married to the other Shiro?”  
  
“It all moved very quickly,” Takashi said. “And I was wrong, he’s not married.”  
  
“Is he—you know.” Pyrika glanced at Vel, then reached down and clamped Vel’s ears down. Vel stared in open curiosity, but she didn’t move to push Pyrika off.  
  
Pyrika leaned in and lowered her voice. “Is he still in love with the other Shiro?”  
  
“Yes.” There was no point in denying it, not when Keith had admitted it himself. “But I don’t think it makes a difference.”  
  
“I think what Pyrika’s asking,” M’hille said, “is if you’re sure he’s properly appreciating you for yourself, and not some idea of who you are.”  
  
He wasn’t sure. He tried not to think about it too hard, really, because all it did was turn his mind in circles. He was sure he would have to confront this at some point, but for now, he trusted Keith, and their mutual trust had always gone a long way.  
  
“Keith knows both of us very well,” he said. “I think it’d be doing him a disservice to suggest he can’t tell the difference.”  
  
Pyrika and M’hille exchanged a glance.  
  
“Shiro—Takashi,” Pyrika said. “I can tell you’re really happy, so I’m really happy for you. And Keith really does seem like a great guy. I’m sure he has to be, for Vel to love him so much.”  
  
“You know we worry,” M’hille said.  
  
“I know,” Takashi said. “And I appreciate that I have you both looking out for me.”  
  
Pyrika released Vel’s ears and pulled them all in for a big group hug. “Uuuugh, I’m gonna miss you all so much. Take care of each other while you’re out there, okay?”  
  
“You too,” Takashi murmured. “Don’t forget to take care of yourself.”  
  
M’hille rested her forehead on Pyrika’s. “I’ll come back to you.”  
  
“I’m holding you to that,” Pyrika whispered.  
  
Takashi was brought back to a decade ago, when he had made that same promise, standing in the dying light under the colossal shadow of the Kerberos rocket. He wouldn’t change a thing about what happened after—in fact, if anything changed, then he the clone wouldn’t even exist—but he wouldn’t wish the pain it took to get to where he was on anyone.  
  
He hoped for a better fate for Pyrika and M’hille.  
  
\----  
  
Takashi’s goodbyes with Melnor were short and gruff. Melnor was not prone to affection; he seemed allergic, at times. He gave Takashi the firmest of handshakes and said, “You’ve left your mark here. We won’t forget it.”  
  
The words were simple, but Takashi could read everything in between. They had fought alongside each other for years to free Valnexia, and worked together for years after to rebuild it. It was a _thank you_ and an _I’ll miss you_ and a reminder that he, Takashi Shirogane the clone, could be worth something, all rolled into one.  
  
Takashi squeezed his hand, as if that could convey the gratefulness he felt at hearing the words.  
  
Melnor seemed to understand. He smiled as he let go. “Until next time.”  
  
“Until next time,” Takashi said. That, too, was a promise.  
  
\----  
  
Keith, Acxa, and Krolia led people group-by-group onto the transport. M’hille, Takashi, and Vel were some of the last people on the ship. Though the outside of the transport was a dull grey, the inside was bright and plush. The design reminded of Takashi of the luxury hotels back on Earth.  
  
Keith led them down white, winding hallways of rooms that all looked the same. “We have smaller rooms on the ship for people traveling alone, and some larger suites for families. They’re card access.” He held up a card to the panel by the door, and it beeped and slid open in response. He handed the card to M’hille. “This is yours. Takashi and Vel will be just across.”  
  
M’hille nodded and took her bag into the room. The door slid shut behind her.  
  
Keith pulled out two more cards that he handed to Takashi and Vel. “You want to try it, Vel?”  
  
She reached up, tapping the card against the panel. The door whooshed open. “Cool!”  
  
“Did the Blades make this?” Takashi said as he surveyed the room. Like the halls, the room looked cozy and bright—the complete opposite of Blades aesthetics. There was even some kind of flower sitting on the table by the couch.  
  
“Nah, it was actually a Galra luxury cruiser,” Keith said, stepping in. The door automatically slid shut behind him. “They’ve got quite a few scattered throughout the universe. We just… appropriate them.”  
  
“You appropriate them. From space?” Takashi grinned wildly. “Keith, are you a space pirate?”  
  
“I am a space super spy,” Keith corrected. He was grinning too. “Anyways, you’ve got two beds here and a little kitchen unit. If you need more kitchen space or play space, there’s a larger common area down the hall.”  
  
“Where are you sleeping?” Vel said.  
  
Keith hesitated. “The flight crew has separate quarters near the cockpit. I have a room up there.”  
  
Vel turned big, beseeching eyes on Takashi. He knew what she wanted. He wanted it too. He took Keith’s hand. “Would you like to stay with us?”  
  
Keith looked between them both and smiled. “I’d like that a lot.” He paused for a moment. “I’ve got to help with takeoff, but I’ll move my things in after if that’s all right.”  
  
“Of course.”  
  
The door slid open and shut as Keith left.  
  
Takashi walked to the far side of the room and sat on the cushions beside the viewport, lifting Vel into his lap. From there, they could see the landing pad, and the throng of Valnexians who had come to say goodbye. He recognized Pyrika and Melnor standing near the front. Melnor, it seemed, was actually allowing Pyrika to half-hug him.  
  
Takashi wondered what had become of Melnor and Acxa. Both of them were very private; Melnor hadn’t spoken a word to him about their relationship or lack thereof. Whatever the outcome was between them, he was sure this separation was painful.  
  
He wrapped an arm around Vel as the ship’s engines hummed to life around them. “Here we go.”  
  
He had to hand it to the Galra—tens of thousands of years of space travel really meant they knew what they were doing with their ships. The takeoff was the smoothest he’d ever experienced; aside from the light vibration of the engines, he didn’t feel thing. The land grew farther and farther away, the people on the ground becoming smaller and smaller until they could barely be seen, and the sky melted away into stars.  
  
He looked down at Vel, and at the planet reflected in her eyes. Valnexia had been his home for years, but it had been hers for her entire life. He had had a hard enough time moving from Japan to America to live with his grandfather after his parents passed, but at least that was just a plane ride away. They were about to be much, much farther than that from her home.  
  
Takashi wrapped both his arms around Vel to hold her, just comforting. She curled her arms around him in response, but she didn’t turn away from the viewport. Together, they watched Valnexia shrink into the void, until it was just another star in the vacuum of space.  
  
\----  
  
Keith didn’t return until after lunch.  
  
By then, M’hille had joined them, not wanting to be alone in her room all day. They had helped themselves to a meal of purple Galran space goop—which was admittedly not terrible, but would probably get old after a few days—and were vegetating on the couch, Vel reading one of the books she had brought from home and Takashi and M’hille catching up on intergalactic news on the datapads that had been left in their rooms.  
  
The thing about space travel was that there wasn’t really much to do when all you wanted was to get from one place to another. It was almost easier, back on the Castle of Lions, when there was so much to worry about that there was little time to just be idle. Now Takashi’s biggest worry was that he didn’t pack enough books for Vel to read on the journey.  
  
When Keith arrived, he let himself in, a small black bag of his personal items slung over his shoulder. The space wolf entered after him, immediately finding a perch on the couch across Takashi’s lap, since Vel and M’hille were already fully occupying the other side.  
  
“You’re heavy,” Takashi said around a mouthful of fur. He couldn’t see much other than the wolf’s neck and head. At least he didn’t smell like wet dog.  
  
The space wolf huffed and shoved his furry head farther into Takashi’s face.  
  
“You look comfy,” Keith said. Takashi heard the sound of his bag hitting the ground.  
  
“Hi, daddy!” Vel chirped.  
  
“Hi, princess. What are you reading there?”  
  
Takashi’s heart fluttered embarrassingly at the exchange, and the warmth in Keith’s tone. He nudged the space wolf so that he could see them as Vel started explaining the plot of her book. The space wolf did not move.  
  
He sighed.  
  
He saw M’hille scratch the wolf’s furry cheek. “Vel seems enthusiastic about your upcoming bonding,” she said in a low voice.  
  
“She better be,” Takashi said. “She masterminded the whole thing.”  
  
“Are you sure you’re going to go through with it?”  
  
“Go through with what?” Vel said.  
  
“Uh.” Takashi froze, and was suddenly thankful to have the wolf there as a shield against Vel’s curious gaze. And then Keith clicked his tongue, and the wolf immediately left his lap to attach himself to Keith’s side instead. Takashi looked at him, betrayed.  
  
Keith shrugged.  
  
M’hille physically hid behind her datapad, and Takashi switched his betrayed gaze to her, because she was the one who had said it in the first place.  
  
But Vel was staring at him, and no one was helping.  
  
“Well, uh.” Takashi scrambled to think of something to say, but he couldn’t lie to her. “With the, uh. Marriage.”  
  
“But you already said you would,” Vel said.  
  
“Well, sometimes people say that, but people can still change their minds,” Takashi said slowly. “If they get scared, or if something changes.”  
  
Vel tilted her head. “Are you going to change your minds?”  
  
Takashi hesitated. He didn’t know what was going to happen, especially after they got back to Earth and he would have to face the reality of the real Shiro. He didn’t want to make a promise that he couldn’t keep.  
  
“I don’t plan to,” Keith said. His tone was soft, not challenging, but he was looking at Takashi with furrowed brows, and Takashi knew he had taken too long to answer.  
  
Vel frowned between the both of them as the silence extended.  
  
“Let’s give your daddies a little private time,” M’hille said, standing and taking Vel’s hand. “Do you want to go look at some Galra books? Apparently there’s a very large library on the ship.”  
  
Vel looked to Takashi for permission, and he nodded. “Okay.”  
  
“You too, space wolf,” M’hille said, and after a quick glance at Keith, the wolf followed after her.  
  
The door closed behind them, the sound of the tracks loud in the silence they left behind.  
  
After a long, quiet moment, Keith came to sit next to him on the couch. He studied Takashi’s face, then said, quietly, “Are you having second thoughts? I know this was all very sudden, so I understand if—”  
  
“Keith, no.” Takashi took his hands, cutting him off before he could get too far down the spiral of self-deprecation that Takashi knew was coming. “I love you. I want to spend my life with you. Nothing about that has changed.”  
  
“It’s the same for me,” Keith said. “So then what are you worried about?”  
  
“I’m worried that I’m not good enough for you,” Takashi admitted quietly. “That everyone will look at me and think that—I don’t know. That I’m a replacement.” That was what Pyrika and M’hille had said, and ever since, the fear had been there—not the fear that Keith would think it, but the fear that everyone else would, and that it would lead to some negative judgment of Keith that he didn’t deserve.  
  
“You’re not a replacement.” Keith looked down in thought. He said, slowly, “I want to say that even if I wasn’t in love in Shiro, I would have fallen in love with you. But you are Shiro, in all the ways that matter, so I guess that doesn’t make any sense. I can’t love one without the other. And I don’t want you to think that that makes what I feel for you any less real, or any less meaningful.” He smiled wryly. “Sorry, that didn’t make much sense, did it? You’re starting to see how much of a mess I am.”  
  
“First of all, you are not a mess,” Takashi said. “Considering what you’ve been through, I think you’re one of the most well-adjusted people I’ve ever known.”  
  
Keith actually scoffed. “You need to look in a fucking mirror.”  
  
Takashi squeezed his hands. “Second of all, I love you, Keith, and I know you love Takashi Shirogane, and I know that that’s a lot more complicated than it sounds, but I’m not asking you to choose between us, or anything like that. It’s very clear to me that you love me, and it doesn’t mean any less because you love him too. I get that.”  
  
“What did I do to deserve you?” Keith whispered.  
  
Takashi tilted his head up and pretended to think. “Well, let’s see. If we start from the beginning, you rescued me from the desert, piloted Black to rescue me on that planet with the sabertooths, looked for me for months after I died, rescued me after I escaped from the Galra again—“  
  
Keith wrenched his hands away to bat at Takashi’s. “Okay, okay, stop.” His face was reddenning.  
  
Takashi grabbed his hands back. “Even if you hadn’t done all those things, you are deserving of someone who loves and appreciates you. All of you. And I am so grateful that you’re letting me be that someone.”  
  
“I can’t believe these are words that are actually coming out of your mouth right now,” Keith said, and though the words sounded harsh, they came out very fond. Takashi knew it was just Keith’s coping mechanism for being extremely embarrassed. ”You giant sap.”  
  
“It’s okay, baby,” Takashi said, teasing. “You can tell me you love me.”  
  
Keith pulled his hands free again, but this time he used them to reach up and capture Takashi’s face, pulling him down for a kiss. “I love you.”  
  
Takashi leaned his forehead against Keith's, pecked his nose with a kiss. “I love you too.”  
  
“Aren't you afraid?” Keith whispered. “That I'm not loving you for yourself?”  
  
“Maybe I should be,” Takashi said, “but...” He put his hand over Keith’s chest and thought about how he wanted to say the next part. Keith was watching him, quiet and patient.  
  
Takashi took a deep breath. “He broke your heart, Keith. Badly. The people close to you know that, and I know you’re worried they’re going to look at me and think that you never got over it, and that I’m just who you conveniently found to fill in the cracks. But I know you don’t think that, because not too long ago you assumed that I felt the same way. That because I was also Shiro, I couldn’t love you the way you loved me, and you were already breaking your own heart again before I could do it for you.”  
  
He leaned in, touching his forehead against Keith’s, and lowered his voice. “For you to trust me with your heart, when Takashi Shirogane has already broken it once—that takes so much more strength than I think you realize. I think that this—taking a chance on us—is the harder choice for you. So what reason do I have to be afraid?”  
  
Everything he was saying was exactly how he felt. He knew Keith loved him with eyes wide open—he wasn’t worried about that.  
  
He was more worried about the fact that he knew, deep down, that he wasn’t worthy of it. He was just the vestige of a man; memories dumped into a container, neither of them whole. Keith deserved more than that. More than him.  
  
But he could make himself worth it, he hoped, for at least a little while.


	8. Chapter 8

Life on the ship passed slowly, but they found ways to occupy their time.  
  
One of those ways was hair braiding practice for Vel—but on Takashi’s hair. Despite the fact that Keith always tied his hair into a simple braid, he apparently knew how to twist much more complicated patterns, and he was passing that knowledge down to Vel.  
  
Takashi had no input on any of it. He was just petting the space wolf and reading—or pretending to read—on the datapad and trusting that it would come out to something reasonable in the end.  
  
“Where’d you learn to do this?” Vel said.  
  
Keith hummed. Takashi felt another hand in his hair as he gently corrected Vel’s movements. “Mostly just looking things up on my own. My hair used to be shorter, and it was starting to get in the way. Kolivan gave me some tips, too, when I first started figuring it out.”  
  
Takashi tried to picture Kolivan and Keith sitting together, braiding each other’s hair. His brain wasn’t capable of it.  
  
“Do you not know how to cut your hair either?” Vel said. “That’s why daddy’s hair is so long.”  
  
Takashi wished he could take offense, but it was the truth.  
  
“No, I used to cut my own hair, actually.”  
  
“So you just like long hair?”  
  
“There’s this… tradition, kind of, on Earth, where after someone goes through a breakup they cut their hair.” Keith’s voice was slow and measured, like he was trying out the words. “Kind of a way for them to start something new. Shedding bad memories, you know? I didn’t go through a breakup, exactly, but I felt like I lost someone important to me. But I wanted to keep those memories, and make them a part of me. So I just did the opposite, and stopped cutting my hair. I didn’t really think too hard about it, but that’s what happened.”  
  
And that was… very Keith, somehow.  
  
“And you haven’t cut it since?” Vel said, her voice dramatic and laden with storytelling.  
  
Keith laughed. “Well, I trim it sometimes to keep it healthy, but yes.” His voice dropped low to mimic her epic tone. “I haven’t cut it since.”  
  
“I don’t think daddy trims his hair. Does that mean it’s unhealthy?”  
  
Okay, Takashi took offense at that. “I trim it! My hair is perfectly healthy.”  
  
The space wolf scoffed.  
  
Takashi glared and stopped petting him.  
  
The space wolf whined a little and gave him puppy eyes that absolutely should not work for a creature of his shape and size, but Takashi was a giant sucker and gave in, scratching him behind the ears.  
  
“Hm, I don’t know, I think he’s on to something,” Keith said, tugging at a strand. His voice was fond. “I see a bunch of split ends here.”  
  
“Wow, sorry I didn’t have time to worry about split ends while being lost in space,” Takashi said, smiling and matching Keith’s tone. He tried to turn to look at him, but Keith pushed his face back.  
  
“Hey, Vel’s still working here.”  
  
“Yeah, daddy!” She tugged on his hair for emphasis.  
  
“All right, all right.” He picked up the datapad again. “Just remember we’re meeting your mom for lunch soon, Keith. Whenever she thinks of this moment, she’s going to think of me with this hair.”  
  
“Tell your dad not to worry, Vel.”  
  
“Don’t worry, daddy!”  
  
“I am reassured.”  
  
Takashi was not reassured.  
  
“We’re almost done,” Keith said, almost cooed, like he was soothing a wild animal, but he leaned over and pecked Takashi’s cheek so he forgave him.  
  
He gave up pretending to do anything on the datapad and focused on giving the space wolf affection with both hands. It was a relaxing way to spend a morning, he had to admit—the feeling of Vel’s fingers combing and maneuvering his hair, Keith’s gentle voice by his ear, and the space wolf’s fur soft and warm beneath his hands. It was all very… well, domestic. He closed his eyes. He could get used to this.  
  
He must have dozed off sitting up, because the next thing he knew he heard Vel say “All done!” and jolted awake.  
  
“Did you fall asleep, daddy?” Vel said as he turned to face them.  
  
Keith was covering the bottom of his mouth with a hand, but his eyes were sparkling with laughter.  
  
“It was a quick nap,” Takashi said, flushing. “So can I see it now?”  
  
They didn’t have a hand mirror, so they ushered him into the bathroom and let him try to figure out the best angle to look at it between the two mirrors set up perpendicular on the walls. He could really only see the sides, and he didn’t have the knowledge to tell one type of braid from another, but he could see that it was neat and intricately woven. There was a half-circle of braids on top, and then they joined together in a longer, wider braid down his back.  The image of Vel, sitting there and weaving the strands together with great care while Keith guided her hands sent his heart fluttering.  
  
“Well?” Vel said.  
  
“It’s beautiful,” he said, scooping her up off the ground to lift her and peck her cheek. “Thank you.”  
  
Vel beamed. “You’re welcome!”  
  
“Ready to face my mom?” Keith met his eyes in the mirror and ran a hand down the ridges of his braid before it came to rest, warm and supportive, on his lower back.  
  
Takashi took a deep breath. “As I’ll ever be.”  
  
\----  
  
Takashi wasn’t sure why he was nervous about talking to Krolia. There was no real reason to, right? She seemed to like him well enough. She had Keith’s happiness at heart. But the second they left Vel and the wolf in M’hille’s room and started walking towards Krolia’s, Takashi felt his palms sweating. He tried to hide it, but then Keith took his hand and all hope was lost.  
  
“Wanna know something?” Keith said, gamely keeping his grip on Takashi’s clammy hand. “I know exactly what’s going to happen in this conversation.”  
  
“Your mom’s going to love us and everything will be fine?” Takashi said.  
  
“Well, yes. That’s a given.” Keith’s tone was full of affection. “But I meant that I’ve seen-the-future seen this moment. Or, a moment that we’ll be having soon. My mom has seen it too.”  
  
Takashi’s eyes glazed over as he tried to comprehend that. “What?”  
  
“I told you that while we were on the space whale we saw parts of each other’s past, right? Well, we saw some glimpses of the future, too. Not as clear, but. They were there.”  
  
“So you saw… us? This?”  
  
“Not this, specifically. Something later,” Keith said. “And it was out of context, so I didn’t know exactly what it was about, but I saw us, and my mom. You looked like this, and we were wearing the same clothes.”  
  
“We’re always wearing the same clothes.”  
  
Keith opened his mouth, then closed it. “Fine. But you don’t always have a princess braid in your hair.”  
  
“Princess braid?” Takashi reached back and stroked the braid with the hand not holding Keith’s.  
  
“It suits you,” Keith said, and his smile was definitely warm, but the heat in it also ran deeper than that. It ignited something in Takashi’s gut, but the hallway of the transport ship on the way to Keith’s mother’s room wasn’t the place to act on it.  
  
Takashi cleared his throat and steered the conversation back. “So what did you see?”  
  
Keith hummed. “I guess you’ll find out.”  
  
Takashi gaped. “What? You can’t just—“  
  
“Oh,” Keith said, holding up a card to the door in front of them. “We’re here.”  
  
Takashi schooled his face into something more neutral and friendly as the door opened. Krolia raised an eyebrow at him anyways as she greeted them and led them to the table, where three bowls of pink and blue space goop were laid out. Takashi wondered why the colors were different, but he didn’t get a chance to ask.  
  
They had barely sat down when Keith said, “We’re getting married.”  
  
Takashi’s heart stopped dead in his chest at the abrupt delivery, but it was too late to do anything about it.  
  
Krolia blinked once, twice. Then she smiled. “Congratulations, I’m happy for you. Both of you.”  
  
“Thank you,” Keith said softly.  
  
“We, uh—we wanted to know if there’s anything we should do,” Takashi said, grappling for some part of the conversation that he had prepared. “Any sort of special Galra ceremony or anything?”  
  
“Bondings among the Blades are typically simple, intimate affairs, given our circumstances,” Krolia said. “The main signifier is the exchanging of tokens to represent the bonding. More traditional ceremonies involve ritual combat, to prove the spouse’s worth.”  
  
Takashi’s neck broke out into cold sweat. “I would have to fight Keith?”  
  
“No, you would have to fight his guardian.” Krolia quirked her eyebrow at him.  
  
Takashi felt his swift death approaching. “Let’s skip that part.”  
  
Keith and Krolia both laughed. Takashi felt no shame in admitting that he would absolutely lose to Keith and his mother in a fight.  
  
“Wait a moment,” Krolia said before disappearing into the bedroom. She returned with a simple silver band which she presented to Keith. “This was the token your father gave me. It belonged to your grandmother.”  
  
“It’s beautiful.” Keith turned it around in the light and showed it to Takashi. There were the edges of an engraving on the inside, but it had been worn down with time and was now unreadable.  
  
“I want you to keep it,” Krolia said.  
  
Keith looked at her, then at the ring in his palm. Slowly, he curled his fingers closed around it before rising to hug her. “Thank you,” he said quietly.  
  
Takashi suddenly felt like an intruder as he watched them have their moment. He shifted his focus to the space goop instead, quietly eating. After a moment, Keith pulled back and returned to sit next to him, their legs pressed together.  
  
“If this fit you, I don’t think it’s going to fit him,” Keith said as he took Takashi’s hand.  
  
“You should try it,” Krolia said.  
  
Keith frowned at her, then at Takashi’s hand. He looked calm, but his hands were trembling as he slid the ring onto Takashi’s finger. “Mom…”  
  
“I had it resized,” she said gently, “after I saw it.” Takashi remembered what Keith had been telling him in the hallway—that he had seen something about this conversation. Krolia all but confirmed that it was this.  
  
They had seen Keith giving him this ring.  
  
“I don’t—I don’t have anything to give you,” Takashi said, looking at the band on his finger. It looked plain, but it was anything but.  
  
“Take your time,” Keith said.  
  
“Yes, if you gave him something now, then your bonding would be complete by our customs,” Krolia said with a wry smile. “There’s no need to rush. You’ve already found each other. That’s the most important part.”  
  
\----  
  
“So,” Takashi said after they’d returned to their room. Vel and M’hille weren’t in M’hille’s room, so he and Keith were taking the time to relax. Takashi was on his back on the bed, Keith curled up around him.  
  
Keith made a questioning noise and looked up at his voice, his hair tickling Takashi’s throat.  
  
“So you saw that,” Takashi said, “but you and Shiro still didn’t…?” Keith and Krolia must have known that that kind of conversation would only happen for one reason. Takashi didn’t understand how Keith wouldn’t have felt emboldened enough by that knowledge to try to pursue something.  
  
“I mean, we weren’t sure it was the future,” Keith said, tracing abstract patterns across Takashi’s ribs. “It could have been an alternate reality. I wasn’t gonna try to create a life that I saw in a dream.”  
  
As the words fell from his mouth, Takashi acknowledged that that was also very Keith—to channel all his energy into the present, and not to be distracted by vague visions of the future. It was very Keith, but it wasn’t very Takashi.  
  
“Keith,” he said. “Do you believe that you can change your destiny?”  
  
Keith’s fingers stopped tracing and started idly tapping instead. “If you’d have asked anyone ten years ago what they thought my destiny was, they would’ve said in a jail cell somewhere. Me included.”  
  
“Keith…”  
  
“It’s hard not to believe something when people keep saying it like it’s the truth. And, I mean, it’s not like they didn’t have reason,” Keith said. “If you remember where we ended up, the day we met.”  
  
“You were just living up to their expectations,” Takashi said. “Or down to, as it were. That wasn’t your fault.”  
  
“That’s just who I was at the time,” Keith agreed. “What I’m saying is, if you had told me that I was destined to pilot a space lion and join an alien rebel group to save the universe, I wouldn’t have even bothered laughing in your face. I would’ve just left. But now I’m here, and it’s because of you. You saved me.”  
  
His eyes were on Takashi’s, serious with the weight of what he was trying to convey. Takashi caught something sad flitter by in his eyes and on the edges of his lips before he said again, more quietly, “You saved me. You made me believe in myself, and that I could be better than anyone else thought I was. I didn’t change my destiny from small-time criminal to defender of the universe. I think I was meant to be here, with you, all along.”  
  
“I don’t think I was meant to be here at all.” Takashi wasn’t sure what compelled him to say that. It spilled out, almost reflexively, against the idea that he had any sort of destiny in this universe.  
  
“Then why are you here?”  
  
“Sorry?”  
  
“If you’re not meant to be here,” Keith said, “then why are you here? How are you here?”  
  
“I don’t understand.”  
  
“Takashi, the fact that you even exist—the fact that you’re here with me, right now, is enough proof that you’re meant to be here. Otherwise you wouldn’t be.”  
  
Takashi tried to wrap his mind around that argument. “Something about this seems circular.”  
  
“Look, just… don’t think too hard about it, all right?” Keith said, placing the flat of his palm against Takashi’s heart. “You’re here. That’s all that matters.”  
  
Takashi really wanted to believe that was true.  
  
\----  
  
They didn’t speak again of destiny the rest of the trip. Instead, they fell into an easy routine—almost an extension of their quiet lives on Valnexia, but infinitely better because he could be as affectionate with Keith as he wanted.  
  
“You won’t die if you stop touching him,” M’hille said at one point, eyeing how Takashi’s ankle nuzzled Keith’s calf as Keith did push-ups on the ground.  
  
“You don’t know that,” Takashi said.  
  
Vel giggled.  
  
In some ways, he didn’t want the journey to end. Traveling through the actual middle of nowhere was a respite from the universe; a time and place where he could resist of the reality of what actually being somewhere would mean. He wanted to go to Earth, he did—but the closer they got, the more nervous about it he felt.  
  
When they were just days away from the base, his nervousness reached the point where he couldn’t sleep. He rolled out of bed, careful not to wake Keith, and made his way to the observation deck. Watching the stars pass by always relaxed him, filled him with that same sense of awe he had the very first time he had flown in space, even if in the back of his mind he knew that every star that flew by the viewport meant they were another star closer to their destination.  
  
He was surprised to see he wasn’t alone. Standing by the stars was Acxa, who he had only seen briefly and never really talked to since they had started traveling.  
  
“Sorry to interrupt,” he said, backing out of the room as she turned to him.  
  
“It’s fine,” she said, beckoning him back in. “I should apologize to you, anyways. It seems I created a few misunderstandings that complicated things for you. I’m sorry about that. I should have known that you would take it the completely wrong way if I wasn’t explicit enough. But also, Keith should have just told you upfront.”  
  
Takashi wasn’t sure how much of that was an apology, and how much of it was an indictment of his and Keith’s communication skills. “Um… thank you,” he said. “We’ve worked it out. Though, it would be helpful to know how you actually feel about me, seeing as we keep getting our wires crossed. I thought you hated me.”  
  
“I like you,” Acxa said. “I do. Keith likes you a lot, too, and I saw firsthand just how much Shiro messed him up. You’re Shiro too, so you can see how I’d be worried that you would put him through the exact same thing all over again. He doesn’t deserve it.”  
  
“He didn’t deserve it,” Takashi said. “I don’t know what Shiro was thinking, but I couldn’t do that to Keith.”  
  
“I believe you.” Acxa crossed her arms. “It’s been more than a few years, the amount of time you and Shiro have had to grow into different people. I didn’t realize how different you were. Makes me wonder how much Shiro has changed, too.”  
  
Right, Axca said it had been three years since Keith left Earth—so three years since he had last seen the real Shiro. There was no way their reunion wouldn’t be emotional. Would Shiro have realized, in that time, the mistake he made by letting Keith go? Takashi thought he might.  
  
“I was wrong about you,” Axca said. “And I’ve never been more happy to be wrong. You don’t want to know what he was like, these last few years. He’s had to cope with death before. This was a different kind of loss altogether, one he didn’t have any experience dealing with. It’s been… difficult for him, to say the least. I hope he won’t ever have to face it again.”  
  
“He won’t,” Takashi promised, though he felt something at Shiro rising in him. It wasn’t anger, exactly; more the resounding need to know _why_. “All I want is for him to be happy. I’d do anything to protect that.”  
  
“Yes,” she said. “I’m starting to see that.” Her smile was soft. It was a private expression, the kind of expression she would have shown Melnor, perhaps—something Takashi never thought he would be privileged enough to see.  
  
“You love him,” he said.  
  
"We love each other,” she said. “But not the same way you love each other. His love for you... it's always been all-consuming. He would die for you without hesitation. I’ve always thought of it as the kind of love that could destroy worlds. I had my doubts that Shiro could match that kind of intensity, but you… when I look at you, I believe that you could rise to meet him. So thank you.”  
  
“You don’t have to thank me for that,” Takashi said. “We’ve been through so much together that I can’t imagine any other way to love him.”  
  
Acxa laughed without humor. “I guess it’s lucky for you that Shiro doesn’t feel the same.”  
  
\----  
  
Acxa didn’t mean anything by her words, Takashi knew, but they stuck with him all the same. If the real Shiro wasn’t so—whatever he was, then Takashi wouldn’t have had a chance. Takashi may not have even gotten off Valnexia at all. He might have lived and died there, never knowing that while Keith and Voltron and Earth were a distant memory to him, he was never anything to them.  
  
It wouldn’t have been so terrible a life. He would’ve had Vel, still. Their small community might have grown. They might have learned to accept Vel’s Galra heritage. But knowing what he knew now, and having what he had—he couldn’t bear to think about life without.  
  
And it was because he was lucky. His entire life was the way it was now because Shiro had fucked up.  
  
His arm tightened around Keith at the thought, and Keith let out a sleepy hum and rolled over.  
  
“Sorry,” Takashi whispered. He stroked his hair. “Go back to sleep.”  
  
“I can hear and feel you thinking,” Keith said, flicking at Takashi’s arm. “What’s wrong?”  
  
Takashi stroked the side of Keith’s face with the back of his hand as he thought about what to say. “When we’re on Earth, at least for this celebration… I think it’d be best if we didn’t associate with each other in public.”  
  
Keith’s frown deepened. “What brought this on? Did Acxa say something again? I swear, she keeps saying the wrong things to you.”  
  
“No, we—we actually had a good conversation.” She was just making a comment. The rest was his own insecurities at work.  
  
Keith touched his jaw with the tips of his fingers, feeling the set of it and studying whatever he could see in Takashi’s eyes. “I’m not ashamed of you. I’m not ashamed to be seen with you.”  
  
He put his hand over Keith’s, intertwining their fingers and gently lowering it from his face to the bed. “I know.”  
  
Keith couldn’t stop him from being ashamed of himself. Takashi didn’t want him to try.  
  
He didn’t need Keith to convince him he was being illogical. He already knew. It took an illogical person to look at their ticking time bomb of a body and decide to push it to its limits in pursuit of a dream everyone else called impossible and a waste of time. Illogicality wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, as far as he was concerned.  
  
He didn’t want Keith to try to change his mind. He just needed time to figure out for himself what it meant for him-and-Vel-and-Keith to exist in a space alongside the real Shiro, and he needed to do that without everyone looking at him and immediately making comparisons.  
  
And also... once everyone knew about Keith’s relationship with Takashi and Vel, there would be no going back from it, not in a way that wasn’t messy for everyone involved. Maybe Axca was right, and their life on Valnexia wasn't something that could be transplanted to Earth. Keith wasn't fickle; Takashi didn't think he would change his mind without reason.  
  
But reasons would have plenty of opportunity to come up on Earth where they didn't on Valnexia.  
  
“It’s already going to be a huge change for Vel, being on Earth.” It wasn’t a complete lie. “And, I mean, you’re a pretty big deal. So is… Shiro.” He carefully avoided the word _real_ for Keith’s sake, even though he was thinking it. “It just might be best if we laid low during the celebration, and then figured things out after all the public scrutiny is over.”  
  
Keith’s unhappiness with the idea was plain on his face, but all he said was, “If you’re sure.”  
  
“I’m sure.”  
  
“You’ll still stay with me, though?” he said, rubbing his thumb over their joined hands. There was something fragile about it. “My apartment’s private. No one will know.”  
  
“Of course.” Takashi cupped his hip. He didn't want Keith to think this was because of him. If anything, this was for him. “I'm not having second thoughts, Keith.”  
  
“I'm not, either.”  
  
“I know,” Takashi said, leaning over to kiss him.  
  
Keith didn't have second thoughts now, but he might, soon. And it was only fair for Takashi to give him the opportunity to realize that before it was too late.


	9. Chapter 9

Blending in at the celebration was not as difficult as Takashi had feared.  
  
After their arrival at the Blades base, they had traveled to Earth directly by teludav, drastically shortening the second leg of their journey. Takashi had not been prepared.  
  
They spent the night of their arrival in Keith’s apartment, where they sat Vel down and asked her to please not call Keith “daddy” just for the week of the celebration. Takashi had been worried about how she would take it, but the fact that it was temporary combined with the fact that he was wearing a permanent mark of their relationship on his finger seemed to reassure her enough that she didn’t seem to mind.  
  
(She was also happy to see that Keith was continuing to wear the yarn ring, though it was often hidden under his gloves.)  
  
In any case, it didn’t seem like Keith and Vel would be spending too much time together outside of Keith’s apartment, anyways.  
  
Actually, Takashi wasn’t even sure she’d spend too much time with him.  
  
There was a giant designated kids area with different activities and places to play. Children of all species and ages were there—including many Galra. They had just wandered over to look while they were exploring the first day, and Vel was immediately drawn into a crowd of children excited to meet someone new. Her shocked look would have been comical if it wasn’t such a sad reminder of how different things were on Valnexia.  
  
He urged her to play, leaving the information for his communicator with the chaperones in case she needed him before he came by to get her for dinner.  
  
Then he started making his way through the crowd, joining random conversations and discovering what had been going on with Voltron, the universe, and beyond in his missing years  
  
Axca wasn’t wrong when she had described the physical differences between him and Shiro all that time ago. It seemed that whenever anyone thought of Takashi Shirogane, they thought of a man with short white hair and a floating Altean prosthetic. No one he spoke to gave him so much as a second glance.  
  
For those who did know him (them?) well, Takashi knew his face would be a dead giveaway. But it ended up being very simple to avoid anyone who would immediately recognize him, given that all those people had played fairly important roles in the war and their presences were always marked by an exclamation of their name and a swell in the crowd.  
  
All he had to do was keep to the fringes—which was what he preferred, anyways—and he would be safe.  
  
At least, that was what Takashi thought, until he stepped into the bathroom and immediately made eye contact with a very familiar face waving his hands under the dryer. His aching bladder was promptly forgotten.  
  
Admiral Takashi Shirogane stared as the door swung shut behind him. “You're—“  
  
“I go by Takashi.”  
  
“Shiro,” Shiro said, extending his hand.  
  
Both the introduction and the handshake were unnecessary and they both knew it, judging from the way Shiro’s face went red immediately after he put his hand out. Takashi felt the embarrassment keenly, and he couldn’t let himself suffer like this, so he stuck his hand out and completed the greeting.  
  
“This is… wow,” Shiro said. “I did not expect to see…”  
  
“Your clone?”  
  
Takashi felt the same way. There were so many things he wanted to ask and say to the real Shiro, and now that they were standing there, face-to-face and five feet away from a wall of toilets, his mind was completely blank.  
  
“Yeah.” Shiro laughed, a bit nervously. “How’d you end up here?”  
  
“To make it really short… I crash landed on another planet, years ago. The Blade of Marmora found me and declared me certified not evil. Then they brought me here.”  
  
Shiro visibly relaxed, and Takashi smiled. “Yeah, no worries. I'm not here to kill you and take your place or anything.”  
  
“Well, that's a relief,” Shiro said, easy as anything, and Takashi realized he must put a lot of faith in the Blades. “Are you thinking of staying for a while?”  
  
“I’m not sure yet,” he said, because who could he be honest with if not himself? “Didn’t know how warm of a welcome I’d get from everyone.”  
  
Shiro hummed in thought and crossed his arms. “The Paladins are getting together for dinner tomorrow, if you’d like to come,” he said slowly. “The Garrison set something up for us in Hopper Hall, if you remember where that is. We’d all love a chance to meet you and get to know you better, and I’m sure you’d like to see them again. How long has it been for you? Six years? Maybe eight?”  
  
“Uh, nine, I think,” Takashi said. He remembered Keith had spent a long time calculating that one out, too. “Have years been… difficult, or something?”  
  
Shiro laughed, though there wasn’t much humor in it. “Or something. There was a lot of weird… time dilation happening. Don’t think too hard about it. I try not to.”  
  
“I see. Well, I appreciate the invite. I’d be happy to join you all.” Takashi would have to let Keith know so he wouldn't die of shock, but it would be nice to catch up with the other Paladins in person.  
  
“I was actually heading back to my room now to make some tea, if you’re not busy,” Shiro said. It sounded a bit like he was being propositioned by himself, and Shiro blushed, proving that they did actually have similar thoughts. “Sorry, I just have so many questions.”  
  
“No, I get it,” Takashi said. “I have a lot of things I want to ask you too. Do you mind if I, uh—” He jerked his head toward the urinals. His reason for coming into the bathroom in the first place was making itself known again.  
  
“Oh yeah, sorry! I’ll uh. I’ll meet you outside.”  
  
Takashi sped through his business in the bathroom—not the washing his hands part, of course— and headed back out. Shiro wasn’t waiting by the door, and it seemed like it would be impossible to find him in the throng of people outside until he saw the shock of white hair standing alone near the edge of the crowd.  
  
Shiro’s head was tilted down, looking at a tablet in his hand. His figure, broad and silhouetted against the sun, seemed lonely somehow. Untouchable.  
  
Takashi felt like he was breaking some unspoken vow by approaching him. “Uh, hey.”  
  
Shiro shoved the tablet into his pocket and pasted on a smile. “Hey. Let’s go.” He took Takashi down familiar halls—his apartment must actually not be far from Keith’s—and made small talk about what had changed at the Garrison all the while.  
  
“Where are you staying while you’re here?” Shiro asked eventually.  
  
Takashi’s mind blanked of any lie that he could possibly tell. “Uh. Just a room. Somewhere around here.”  
  
“Oh, the Garrison’s putting you up? That’s nice of them.” Shiro frowned. “Wish someone would’ve told me about it.”  
  
“That’s my fault. Didn’t want to make things awkward,” Takashi said. “I was mostly planning on avoiding you.”  
  
“Well, I’m glad we met,” Shiro said as they stopped in front of a door. “I’m interested in hearing about what you’ve been up to.”  
  
His apartment looked mostly like Keith’s—Takashi supposed he couldn’t expect much variety from the Garrison—except for the man sitting at the dining table. Takashi had almost forgotten. This must be the mystery husband.  
  
"Curtis,” Shiro said. He sounded surprised. “I thought you still had your meeting.”  
  
“Finished early, but I need to head out for the next one in a bit.” He stood. He was attractive—dark-skinned, with short hair and kind eyes. “Wow, is this your long-lost twin? Curtis,” he said, putting a hand out.  
  
Takashi clasped his hand. “Takashi Shirogane, but I go by Takashi,” he said, reveling in the dumbfounded look on Curtis’s face. “I’m Shiro’s clone, actually.”  
  
Curtis stared between them both, and he seemed confused enough that Takashi figured he had never heard this particular tale. “His what.”  
  
“It’s a long story,” Shiro said. “But the short of it is that Takashi’s been lost in space for a few years, and he’s just now made it back to Earth. I ran into him in the bathroom and stole him for a chat.”  
  
“Ah, yes,” Curtis said, “the bathroom. Where we all hope to run into our clones.”  
  
“So you’re a general?” Takashi said, eyeing the badges on Curtis's Garrison officer uniform.  
  
“Yep.” Curtis tapped his stars. “We met while I was on the bridge crew of the Atlas, but I actually specialize in logistics and operations. I’ve been coordinating with the different bases in the US to speed up the reconstruction projects. We hope to be done by end of this year.”  
  
“Congratulations,” Takashi said. He understood and respected the need for those efforts, but it wasn’t anything he ever saw himself being interested in doing. He glanced at Shiro. “You’ve been working on this, too?”  
  
“I’ve been overseeing all operations for this site, specifically,” Shiro said. “But yes, we got to work together more closely while Curtis was focused on the reconstruction here.”  
  
Curtis sat down again and gestured for them to join him. Takashi had always been a fan of sitting next to his boyfriends, so he settled himself across from Curtis to leave the spot for Shiro, but Shiro busied himself in the kitchen making tea instead.  
  
“So what have you been doing out there?” Curtis said. “You haven’t been able to make it back to Earth until now?”  
  
“The planet I landed on was still under Galra control, so I spent a few years with the rebellion there. After that, well, their space technology is similar to where Earth’s was, before the war. I couldn’t really leave the system until the Blades found me during one of their relocation missions.”  
  
“The Blades, huh.” Curtis was looking at Shiro with a wry smile on his face. Shiro appeared to be impassively taking out cups for tea, but Takashi knew himself well enough to know what concealed annoyance looked like on him.  
  
It rubbed Takashi the wrong way. “Yes, the Blade of Marmora. Sorry, is there something wrong with that?”  
  
“No, they’re great,” Curtis said, and he sounded honest about it. “Have you met up with Keith yet? He’s been running a lot of Blades missions out there. Or so I’ve heard.”  
  
“I have,” Takashi said slowly.  
  
Both Shiro and Curtis looked surprised at that.  
  
Curtis opened his mouth to say something else, but there was a beep from his leg. He pulled out his communicator and sighed. “My cue to head out. Good to meet you, Takashi.”  
  
“You too.”  
  
“I get the sense you don't really like Curtis,” Shiro said as he set a teacup down in front of Takashi and sat down in Curtis's vacated seat.  
  
"It's not that I don't like him," Takashi said. Curtis was exactly the kind of guy Takashi could have gone for, once upon a time—of course he and Shiro would have the same taste. But the fact that Takashi didn’t think he would go for him now, even if he didn’t have Keith, made him wonder if they really could have changed that much from each other.  
  
He paused for a moment to figure out how to explain it. Conveniently, they both had the shared experience of being Shiros. “When we started our relationship with… with Adam,” he said, slowly, “it was because we liked him and it felt like the natural next step, regardless of whether or not we actually wanted a relationship at the time. And we didn't, not really.”  
  
“I’m not sure that’s true,” Shiro said.  
  
“Maybe we thought we did.” Takashi swirled the tea around in the cup before taking a sip. “But we’ve always been ambitious. Given the choice between staying on Earth with our partner or being one of the first humans to set foot in the farthest reaches of our solar system? The answer for us was always going to be space. Adam didn't stand a chance.“  
  
“He was worried about the MDM,” Shiro said. “That we wouldn't have any time to do anything together after I—we got back.” The explanation sounded tired, something driven into him through repetition that he didn’t agree with but spoke as truth nonetheless. Takashi understood. He had been through the same.  
  
“Don't you wish that he would have supported our last chance to be up in space?” Takashi said. “That was going to be it for us. If all of this—“ he made a sweeping gesture, though there was no gesture in the world that could capture the experiences they had gone through in the war, “—hadn't happened, we were never going to have a chance to be up there again.”  
  
“We were thinking of ourselves. You can't blame him for thinking of himself too.” Shiro had crossed his arms, defensive, but over what, Takashi didn’t know. Regardless of Adam’s reasoning, Takashi knew just how betrayed they had felt when Adam forced them to choose between him and Kerberos.  
  
But Takashi also knew that a defensive Takashi Shirogane was approaching one that couldn’t be reasoned with, so he tried to pull back. “I don’t blame Adam for looking out for himself, but that's what I mean when I said we didn't want a relationship. We weren't ready for one. We were more focused on our own goals, and no relationship of ours would have survived unless they were focused on our goals, too.”  
  
“What does this have to do with Curtis?”  
  
What Takashi really wanted to do was demand to know why Curtis, and why not Keith, but there would be no faster way to get Shiro to shut down immediately. Instead he said, “I just see the same thing happening all over again. You met him while you were doing reconstruction work with the Garrison, and you liked him, right? But his ambitions are the size of a country, and yours are the size of a universe. Will that really make you happy?”  
  
“Relationships take work, sacrifice, and compromise if you want them to last,” Shiro said, and it sounded like something else he’d told himself over and over. His fingertips were white against his teacup. “They're not just something you can expect to keep. That's what burned us with Adam. It sounds like you haven't learned that lesson yet.”  
  
Shiro’s tone was cutting, and Takashi was certain he was intentionally trying to frustrate him. “Giving up on your dreams is not an appropriate sacrifice for a relationship.”  
  
_Keith wouldn’t have made you do that._  
  
“Who even says those are my dreams anymore?”  
  
“I do, because I'm you! I know you!”  
  
“You're not me,” Shiro said. “You're a clone.”  
  
He was a clone. Takashi knew that. He couldn’t forget that. But to have it thrown in his face by the original—that was something that cut far deeper than the self-flagellation he had been subjecting himself to. It went straight to his core.  
  
He was a fake.  
  
An impostor.  
  
Not deserving of the place that he had carved out for himself in a world where there was only room for one Takashi Shirogane.  
  
But he forced himself to breathe, to think rationally. If the words were true, then they shouldn’t hurt. He needed to focus on why he was having this conversation in the first place. He was trying to help Shiro understand for Shiro’s sake. For Keith’s sake.  
  
“Fine,” he said. “Fine. I'm not you. I was you, before, but I haven't been you for the past decade and I don't know what you've done, or how you've changed. But I know what's at the core here,” he says, thumping his chest with a fist, “and that is a burning desire to be a part of things much, much bigger than ourselves. And it frustrates me that you've given it up because you're afraid to be lonely.”  
  
The words came out before he could stop them. He knew he had gone too far even before Shiro's expression shuttered in a way that said he had reached his end with this conversation.  
  
Shiro closed his eyes, hands wrapped around his teacup in a mockery of calmness when Takashi knew he was anything but.  
  
“Fuck you,” Shiro said, quietly but clearly. “You don't have the right to lecture me about this when you don't even understand what it means to give yourself to someone else. Get out.”  
  
Takashi wanted to argue, but from his own anger and the fury in Takashi’s tone he knew any attempt at conversation would barely make it off the ground.  
  
He left.  
  
\----  
  
“What crawled up your butt and died?” M’hille said when Takashi approached her, and Takashi forgot his anger in favor of being completely caught off guard.  
  
“What—where did you get that from?”  
  
M’hille tilted her head toward the play area. “I went to see how Vel was doing and some Earth children wanted to give me a lesson in authentic Earth vernacular. How was it?”  
  
“Bad,” Takashi said. “Unless you wanted to sound like a child, in which case, it was great.”  
  
M’hille frowned. “Perhaps I should reconsider the source of my education.”  
  
“Perhaps,” Takashi said, smiling a little. Poorly worded or not, M’hille’s greeting did manage to loosen his tension and anger into something duller. “To answer your implied question, I just got in an argument with Shiro Prime. It’s nothing major. He’s just very frustrating.”  
  
“That’s to be expected,” M’hille said. “I believe most people would find themselves frustrating to interact with. You know all each other’s faults, after all.”  
  
“Yeah, I probably shouldn't have said some of the things I did.” Now that he was out of the conversation, he could see all the ways he went wrong. “You know how sometimes you have doubts about something but you keep them inside because you're scared? I think I just threw them all in his face.”  
  
“Sounds like maybe you were the frustrating one,” M’hille said, though it was without censure. “Vel, look who’s back!”  
  
Vel had noticed Takashi’s arrival and made her way to them from the playground. “I know, I saw him. Hi, daddy!” He knelt down so she could wrap her arms around his neck, then grabbed her waist so he could stand and swing her around as she laughed.  
  
“Hi, princess,” he said, pecking her cheek before putting her back down. Are you having fun?”  
  
“Yeah!” She leaned in, like she was telling him a secret. “Everyone’s really nice here,” she said quietly.  
  
Takashi could read between the lines to see that her Galra heritage wasn’t a problem for these kids. That made sense. The Voltron Coalition would be keenly aware that Voltron’s leader was half-Galra himself, and would have worked closely with the entirely Galra Blade of Marmora. There was no way they could associate all Galra with acts of evil.  
  
“I’m glad,” he said. “Do you want to keep playing?”  
  
“Is that okay?”  
  
“Of course! I’m happy you’re making friends. I’ll come get you for dinner, okay?”  
  
“Okay, thanks daddy! Bye Aunt M’hille!”  
  
“Getting off Valnexia was good for her,” M’hille said as they watched her be embraced back into the fold of a group of children making shapes in the dirt. “Forget Sevit.”  
  
“Thanks, M’hille.” Takashi bumped her shoulder. “You met up with your family this morning, didn’t you? Want to introduce me to them?”  
  
M’hille hesitated for many moments too long, and Takashi raised an eyebrow at her.  
  
This should be good.  
  
\----  
  
“This is fancy,” Vel said, eyes wide as she eyed the intricate dessert laid out before them. It was the last course of an extremely fancy twelve-course meal that they were eating as special guests of the esteemed Princess M’hille of Quirra, but the dessert was the only part of it ostentatious enough for Vel to notice.  
  
“It is fancy,” Takashi said. “Do you know why it’s fancy?”  
  
M’hille gave him a look.  
  
He leaned in closer to Vel and lowered his voice, just a little. “It’s because your Aunt M’hille is a princess.”  
  
“Takashi, please,” M’hille said, but Vel’s eyes had already grown wider.  
  
“Like in the stories?”  
  
Valnexia had no royalty, so Vel’s only source of knowledge of kingdoms of princes and princesses were from the fairytales Takashi recited to her before bed.  
  
“Like in the stories.”  
  
She turned to M’hille. “Do you have a horse?”  
  
“Anyxus is a creature who has accompanied me since childhood who also provides a means of transportation for me,” M’hille said, sounding somewhat pained. “Does he qualify?”  
  
“Good enough,” Takashi said.  
  
“Do you have a crown?”  
  
“Diadem is more accurate.” M’hille reached into her bag and pulled out a piece of jewelry, swirling silver with glowing blue jewels nestled in it. She set it on Vel’s head, but it slid down over her eyes.  
  
The blue of the jewels seemed familiar, somehow. Takashi had thought so, when he met M’hille’s parents, but didn’t want to ask then. He leaned closer now. “Are those the crystals of a Balmera?”  
  
M’hille took the diadem back and rubbed her finger over a crystal. “Yes. There is a Balmera near my homeworld. My parents say that the Galra have taken too much from it. We’ve been sending priests and priestesses to give blessings, and it’s helped a little, but we’re not sure it will survive.”  
  
Takashi put a hand on her shoulder and remembered what Keith said about Hunk looking into the properties of the Balmera. “There are people in the Coalition who can help. I can help ask around, if you’d like.”  
  
M’hille nodded and looked at him. “Thank you. Also, I have gifts for you.” She reached into her bag again and pulled out a small necklace with a blue pendant. “This is for you,” she said, draping it over Vel’s neck. “And this, for you.” She placed a silver band inlaid with a ring of blue in Takashi’s palm, and closed his fingers over it. “The metals are from Valnexia. The gems are the crystals of the Balmera that give our homeworld the strength to carry on. That is the blessing I would like to pass on to you.”  
  
M’hille had put the ring in his hand, not on it. Takashi looked down at it. “Is this for…?”  
  
“You told me your concerns of not having something meaningful to share,” M’hille said. “I would be honored if you would accept this. Pyrika, as well. I know we’re not your true family, but…”  
  
“You’re as true a family as we could have hoped for,” Takashi said. “Thank you so much, M’hille. It’s beautiful.”  
  
“I love you, Aunt M’hille.” Vel wrapped her arms around her middle, and Takashi wrapped his arms around them both, smothering M’hille in an undignified group hug.  
  
It was ended by M’hille prodding his shoulder. “I think someone’s looking for you.”  
  
Takashi turned to see Shiro standing there, looking a bit sheepish.  
  
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. Hello, Princess M’hille,” he greeted, clumsily. “I just—I was talking to the king and queen and saw you here, and I wanted to—can I talk to you for a moment?”  
  
“Who are you?” Vel said, looking between Takashi and Shiro so quickly Takashi feared she’d give herself whiplash.  
  
“You know how I told you I was a copy, sweetheart? This is Shiro. He’s the original version that I’m a copy of.”  
  
“His hair is white.”  
  
“That happened after I was copied.”  
  
Vel squinted at Takashi. “So does that mean your hair’s gonna turn white?”  
  
M’hille muffled laughter.  
  
“This happened because of magic,” Shiro said, smiling awkwardly at her. Takashi had forgotten for a moment that his ability to interact with children had been completely learned through trial and error with Vel. “So, I mean, Takashi’s hair will turn white eventually, but probably not soon. Hopefully not soon?”  
  
“Hm,” Vel said. “Okay.”  
  
“I’m gonna talk to Shiro for a bit, Vel, do you mind going with M’hille if you finish first? I’ll meet you back in the room.”  
  
“Okay, daddy,” Vel said, still looking at Shiro with uncertainty in her eyes.  
  
Takashi kissed her. “I’ll be right there.”  
  
“I didn’t know you had a daughter,” Shiro said as Takashi fell into step beside him.  
  
“There’s a lot we don’t know about each other,” Takashi said.  
  
Shiro nodded and led him into an empty dining room. He shut the door behind them. “Listen, I'm sorry I let my emotions get the better of me earlier. It wasn't fair of me to lash out at you because I felt defensive.”  
  
“I probably shouldn't have said things the way I said them either,” Takashi said.  
  
“Maybe not, but I understand.” Shiro crossed his arms and sat on the edge of the dining room table. “You were upset because you think I’ve given up on myself.”  
  
“Haven't you?” Takashi stepped closer, but kept his tone gentle. “Look me in the eyes and tell me that you're proud of where you are right now. That you're doing exactly what you want to be doing. That you're happy.”  
  
Shiro took a deep breath in and out. “Curtis and I are divorcing.”  
  
Takashi’s train of thought plummeted into shock.  
  
“We started proceedings three months ago,” Shiro said. “It isn't anything new. What frustrated me was that you only had to talk to him once to realize all the ways that he was wrong for me. For us. It took me two years to figure it out, and another one to do anything about it.”  
  
Takashi understood. “Mom and dad wanted to see us start our own family one day, but they died before we even got into high school. Grandfather just wanted us to be happy, but he died before we graduated from the Garrison. We wanted to have that happy family. We wanted to have kids, and we wanted them to be happy, to be there for them and watch them grow up. We thought we had lost our chance, but then, with what Haggar did… suddenly we had a chance again.”  
  
“Yeah,” Shiro said, quietly.  
  
“I think you knew exactly what you were getting into,” Takashi said. “You were just looking for a different kind of happiness. I don't blame you for that.”  
  
“Well, I blame myself,” Shiro said. “I feel like I’ve wasted these past few years chasing something impossible. Especially after—“  
  
Shiro stopped speaking.  
  
“After what?”  
  
Shiro sighed and tipped his head forward. “Don’t tell anyone about this just yet. But every day since Keith left with the Blades, I’ve regretted not asking him to take me with him.”  
  
Takashi’s heart jumped into his throat. This shouldn’t surprise him. This was him. But it hurt nonetheless.  
  
Shiro wasn’t looking at him and didn’t notice. “I noticed it more and more, the farther he got out into space and the longer it took for our messages to get delivered. That I missed him. And then I just—I shouldn’t have, but I started comparing him to Curtis. ‘Keith wouldn’t have said that’, or ‘Keith would have understood’. Small things like that. But it builds up, and, well. It was downhill from there. It wasn't fair to him. Keith’s always been great to Curtis, but I don’t think Curtis is a big fan anymore. My fault.”  
  
Takashi wanted to die, but he had to know. “If you felt that way, then why did you let him go in the first place?“  
  
“I didn't want to let him go.” Shiro sighed, heavily. “That's why. Romantic relationships aren’t permanent, and especially not when I’m involved. You know how I am—how we are. I mess it up, and then I lose them. And I can't lose Keith. I just can't.”  
  
It was an incredibly stupid reason, and the worst part was that Takashi completely understood where he was coming from. Might have felt the same way, if his circumstances were different. “If things haven’t changed for you, then Keith is your closest friend. Your closest romantic relationship should be your closest friendship. They're the same, in all the ways that matter. A relationship like you have with Keith—you’re not going to just lose that. You of all people should know that life is too short for you to not tell someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with them.”  
  
Shiro looked up again and studied Takashi, who was working overtime to keep his face neutral. “So you're saying I screwed it up anyways.”  
  
“I'm saying that you are badly underestimating how much Keith loves you if you think that being a shitty boyfriend is going to drive him out of your life.”  
  
“Takashi,” Shiro said, very very carefully. “Are you in love with Keith?”  
  
_I’m going to marry Keith_ , was what Takashi wanted to say. But the rational part of him knew that Shiro had basically confessed to being in love with Keith himself, and was just a few steps away from actually doing something about it. This was Keith’s chance to actually be with the real Shiro. His Shiro.  
  
Takashi couldn’t ruin that for him.  
  
“I think you need to ask yourself that question,” Takashi said, “and then I think you need to talk to Keith.”  
  
Shiro nodded, but he clearly hadn’t missed the fact that Takashi had avoided the question. He was watching Takashi like he was something delicate, and Takashi needed to be away from that all too familiar gaze.  
  
“I’ll see you at dinner tomorrow,” he said, and left.  
  
He rubbed at the band he had received from M’hille—the last step towards completing the bond with Keith. The line of the Balmera crystal seemed to heat up under his touch. He smiled down at it sadly. Just moments ago it was a symbol of joy. Now it was a heavy weight in his pocket.. Keith had a real chance at happiness now, and Takashi couldn’t get in the way of that.  
  
He had known that the time would come, eventually, but he didn’t realize that it would be so soon.  
  
He was going to have to let Keith go.


	10. Chapter 10

He wandered the Garrison for a while, not really thinking of anything, just to clear his head, before returning to Keith’s apartment. Keith was already there, and the lights were out in Vel’s room.  
  
“She seemed pretty tired,” Keith said. “She says good night.” He reached up and kissed Takashi on the cheek. “That’s from her. This is from me.” He kissed Takashi on the lips, but Takashi couldn’t muster the energy to respond. Keith pulled back, frowning. “What’s wrong?”  
  
“I—“  
  
_I don’t think this will work out._  
  
_I think it’s for the best if we end this._  
  
There were so many things he could say to break Keith free, but all of them caught in his throat and made him feel like gagging, or crying, or both.  
  
Keith led him to bed. “Sit.”  
  
Takashi sat.  
  
Keith left the room and returned a few minutes later with a mug of hot water that he pressed into Takashi’s hands before sitting down next to him. “Talk.”  
  
Takashi took a drink of the water, and wet his lips. “I met Shiro today. And Curtis.”  
  
“Okay,” Keith said. “How’d it go?”  
  
“Not well, at first. I said some things about Curtis he wasn’t happy about hearing.”  
  
“Hm. You mean when you told him you thought he was giving up on his dreams for bad reasons?"  
  
Takashi stared at him. “Did you hear us?”  
  
"No," Keith said, "but I do know you. Both of you. He's not the same person now. His priorities have changed."  
  
"They haven't."  
  
"They have." Keith leaned on his shoulder. "Look, I don't want to fight about this with you. But when Adam gave him the choice all those years ago, he chose space. This time, he chose Earth. He made his decision."  
  
"Out of fear that this was a sacrifice he'd always have to make," Takashi said. "Not because he wanted to. It was a bad decision. He admitted it.“  
  
Keith's lips pressed together, but he didn't say anything.  
  
Takashi drew his arms around him and kissed the top of his head. He couldn’t look Keith in the eye as he said the next part. “He also admitted that he’s in love with you, Keith. He’s divorcing Curtis. He wants to be with you. I think you should consider it.”  
  
“Consider what?” Keith wrestled his way out of Takashi’s grip to look at his face. Takashi looked away. “Consider what, Takashi?”  
  
“You have your chance to be with the real Shiro.”  
  
Keith was silent for too long. When Takashi looked, his eyebrows were creased and his lips were pressed together tightly.  
  
“I’m too tired for this right now,” he said finally. “Let’s talk about this in the morning.”  
  
“Keith—“  
  
“In the morning, Takashi.” Keith kissed his cheek and stood. “You’re clearly upset, and I will be too if I don’t sleep first.”  
  
Takashi didn’t feel upset; he felt hollow. But he could tell there was no use arguing with Keith. “All right.”  
  
They got ready for bed in silence, and something in Takashi’s mood lifted despite himself when Keith didn’t even hesitate before curling up against his back.  
  
“I love you, Takashi.”  
  
“I love you, Keith.”  
  
It took a long time for him to fall asleep.  
  
\----  
  
When Takashi woke, it felt like he had barely gotten any rest at all. His nose was next to Keith’s hip, and his hand was draped over his thigh. Keith was sitting up against the headboard with his hand lightly squeezing Takashi’s shoulder. It was still mostly dark outside.  
  
“Sorry,” Keith said. “I thought we should try to have this conversation before Vel wakes up.”  
  
Takashi grunted and propped up his pillow so that he could sit up next to Keith. “Probably for the best.” His voice was scratchy with sleep. He cleared his throat and reached for the remnants of the water Keith had brought him the night before.  
  
“I have a question for you first. Did I…” Keith trailed off, then found his nerve and started again. “Did I do something, or say something, to make you think that I don’t love you?”  
  
“What?” Takashi nearly spilled the rest of the water in his haste to put the cup down. “No! I know you do.”  
  
Keith folded his arms around his knees and pillowed his head on them. “Then I don’t understand why you think I could just leave behind everything we have together.”  
  
“You have your chance for real happiness—“  
  
“I do have real happiness, with you.” Keith took his hand. “You were the one who said you weren’t scared of my love for Shiro,” he said, squeezing it. “So prove it to me.”  
  
“He loves you, Keith. He’s in love with you.”  
  
“So are you.”  
  
“But he’s—“  
  
“Don’t you dare say it,” Keith said, adjusting his hold to grip his wrists and pull him in closer. “You are as real as he is, in every sense of the word. I regret ever telling you otherwise.”  
  
“It’s the truth.”  
  
“It’s not!” Keith took a deep breath. “If I fell off the bed right now and hit my head and forgot everything, would you still say I was the real Keith?”  
  
“Of course.”  
  
“Why? I don’t remember being Keith. You at least remember being Shiro. What makes me realer than you?”  
  
Keith was really going to give him a headache first thing in the morning. “I don’t know. I guess it’s because you were… you know. You were born Keith.”  
  
“You were also born Shiro,” Keith said. “I don’t see how that’s different, except that maybe you were born a little taller. And it’s not like Shiro’s in his original body, either.”  
  
“But his essence is there,” Takashi said. “That’s what was implanted into the clone’s body, right? The thing that made Shiro, Shiro. That’s what I don’t have.”  
  
“You do have it,” Keith said. “There’s something that makes you, you, and at its core, it’s Takashi Shirogane. Maybe it’s shaped a little differently now, but it doesn’t make it any less real.”  
  
Didn’t it?  
  
“You don’t have to be the original to be just as real,” Keith went on, softly. “You’re real. Your memories are real. Everything you’ve done is real. You are Takashi Shirogane, and I love you. You, Takashi. I said I wanted to be with you forever, and I meant it. I’m not going to change my mind just because Shiro suddenly did.”  
  
“Nothing about it is sudden,” Takashi said. He needed Keith to understand that. “He’s loved you for as long as I have. He’s just starting to figure it out. Shouldn’t he get a chance?”  
  
“He had his chance.” Keith paused to study him. He looked a little sad, and a lot tired. “Why are you acting like you want me to leave you?”  
  
Their low voices and the dim morning light made Takashi feel honest. “He’s everything I am, and more. I don’t feel like I’m good enough for you. You deserve universes. And what can I give you? I’m just a clone.”  
  
Keith swung himself onto Takashi’s lap and pressed a hand against the headboard, crowding him in. Takashi’s hands automatically flew to Keith’s waist to balance him.  
  
“You are not ‘just a’ anything,” Keith said. “You are everything I’ve ever wanted, or needed. You’ve given me a family. You’ve given me more happiness than I’ve felt in a long time. Don’t you dare put yourself down.”  
  
“Keith…”  
  
“I’m done hiding,” Keith said. He looked at Takashi’s face like he could read all the secrets there—and he probably could. “You said it was for Vel, but now I think it was because you wanted to give me an out in case I came back and changed my mind. Well, I’m not changing my mind. Let everyone know, and if they have a problem, they can take it up with me.”  
  
Takashi sighed and let his head hang. Keith met it, crushing their foreheads together.  
  
“I’ve screwed this all up,” Takashi said.  
  
“You and Shiro,” Keith said, “are both giant cowards.”  
  
“Can’t argue against that.” Takashi sighed. “You can’t tell them yet. Not Shiro, at least.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“I told him to confess to you,” he said. “I can’t tell him to do that then rub it in his face that we’re getting married.”  
  
Keith closed his eyes like he was praying for patience. “You are an unbelievable idiot.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
“You have until the end of the day to sort this out with him. Tomorrow, all bets are off.”  
  
Keith leaned back. Takashi felt Keith’s muscles ripple under his hands, signaling he was going to move off, and clamped down more tightly around his waist to keep him there. This was real. Keith was real. And Keith loved him.  
  
Keith tilted his head in question. His bangs fell into his eyes with the movement and Takashi was momentarily distracted by the sight Keith made in the early morning light. The sun was starting to rise, rays of light peeking in through the windows, and Keith’s features were made both softer and sharper by them.  
  
“Something you want to say?” An amused smile was curling on Keith’s lips.  
  
“I love you.” Takashi slid a hand from Keith’s waist to tangle in the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him into a kiss that Keith bent down for easily, resting his hands on Takashi’s shoulders for support. Takashi shifted his hands to take hold of the backs of Keith’s thighs, tugging him up and closer. Keith gasped against his lips, hands falling against the headboard to help him keep his balance as he pitched forward, pressing their upper bodies together.  
  
Takashi reveled in the feeling of being so close. Physical affection with Keith came easy; physical intimacy, not so much. He hadn’t touched someone like this in over a decade. He had feared it, in a sense, but now his fears seemed unfounded. All his fears and insecurities had been laid bare, and Keith hadn’t wavered in the slightest. He had nothing left to hide, and everything left to gain.  
  
He slid his fingers under the edges of Keith’s shirt, a question, and Keith helped him pull it up and over his head so that he could run his hands over Keith’s body and feel the muscles that had sculpted there over the years, the scars etched into him from years of battle. Every touch of Keith’s skin made a desperate heat rise in him, made him pull Keith in deeper so that they might never be separated again.  
  
He slid his hands back down, cupping Keith’s ass to pull him flush against him. Keith bucked against him, and Takashi realized, suddenly, that they were both hard. He groaned against his mouth, and Keith started grinding against him in response.  
  
Takashi turned away and tried to quiet himself. Vel was still asleep in the other room, but morning was threatening to break through the curtains. “We don’t have much time.”  
  
“Better be quick then,” Keith murmured, pushing up Takashi’s shirt.  
  
He helped Keith pull it off, but he warned, “I’m not the same.” The scars of his own past were gone, replaced with only a few marks from his time on Valnexia.  
  
“You’re beautiful,” Keith said, lips moving from his mouth to his jaw, then lower.  
  
His hands stroked Keith lightly as Keith explored his body with his mouth, his tongue tracing the shape of his Adam’s apple, his teeth scraping the edge of his collarbones. Every sensation felt new, and on the edge of too much. He forced himself to stay quiet, acutely aware of the fact that they weren’t alone in the apartment.  
  
Then Keith’s tongue washed over his nipple, fast and teasing, and he couldn’t hold back a soft cry.  
  
“Shh.” Keith kissed him and shushed him at the same time before lowering himself back down. He paid attention to each of Takashi’s abs as he slowly worked his pants off, and Takashi fought to wrestle Keith’s off as well.  
  
“Is this being quick?” Takashi said once they were both fully naked and Keith was still pressing kisses to his hips.  
  
Keith tilted his head to look up at him, hair falling over his shoulders. Then, without a word, he wrapped his fingers around Takashi’s cock and swallowed him down.  
  
Takashi’s cry was silenced by Keith’s hand pressing firmly against his mouth.  
  
“You’re so loud,” Keith murmured, but it wasn’t a complaint. He sounded like he liked it. A lot.  
  
Takashi’s hand flew to Keith’s hair, just to have something to hold on to as Keith brought him higher with his mouth and his hands. It was too much too fast, and Takashi quickly felt himself approaching the edge. He made a sharp noise against Keith’s hand and lightly tugged on his hair, trying to warn him to pull off, but Keith only pressed harder and stroked faster.  
  
Takashi came, sobbing against Keith’s hand as he swallowed him down.  
  
Keith released his hold as Takashi’s cries quieted into gasps and curled up on his side against Takashi. “I love you,” Keith murmured against his cheek.  
  
Takashi turned his head to kiss him. “I love you.” He looked down at where Keith was still achingly hard.  
  
“It’s not gonna take much,” Keith said, noticing his gaze.  
  
Takashi rolled him onto his back and climbed on top of him, taking him in hand. Keith was quiet compared to him; all quiet _oh_ s and hitching gasps as Takashi kissed his jaw and nipped at his neck. Keith’s hand was by his head, clenching the bedsheets, and Takashi reached up to capture it in his own, lacing their fingers together and letting Keith squeeze as he became overwhelmed.  
  
It was the perfect angle to watch the way the flush rose on Keith’s cheeks and chest, the way his hips bucked to meet Takashi’s movements, the way his lips fell open and his hair fell askew as he gave himself over to the sensations in his body, and the way his eyelashes fluttered and his back arched as he tipped over the edge with a quiet, broken cry.  
  
Takashi kissed him as he came, stroking him until he couldn’t take it anymore and they settled together with a quiet sigh. “You’re beautiful,” Takashi said, running a hand along the flushed skin of Keith’s chest.  
  
“I’m yours, Takashi,” Keith said, and kissed him again. “I’m yours.”  
  
\----  
  
The residual softness of the morning lasted until Keith was headed out the door and said, “Sorry I won’t be able to be here for dinner again. The Paladins are having a reunion dinner thing tonight.”  
  
“Oh,” Takashi said. “I forgot to mention. Shiro invited me to that.”  
  
Keith stared at him. “Are you serious?”  
  
Takashi shrugged helplessly.  
  
Keith sighed. ”I’ll see you tonight, princess,” he said, bending down to trade cheek kisses with Vel. “Who are you gonna be eating with, then?”  
  
“Grandma!” Vel said.  
  
Keith stared at Takashi and mouthed the word _grandma_ , then _what the fuck_.  
  
“Krolia wanted to spend a little time with her,” Takashi said. “They didn’t get much of a chance on the ship.”  
  
“I see,” Keith said, voice a little strangled. “Well, have fun with, uh, grandma, princess.” He pet her head and stood, facing Takashi. “And you have until dinner to figure things out with Shiro.” He kissed him before heading out the door, and Takashi already knew he was doomed to fail.  
  
Takashi did not talk to Shiro before dinner. In fact, Takashi barely saw Shiro before dinner. Apparently being an admiral of the Galaxy Garrison meant you were an extremely busy person—who knew?  
  
So he slunk in shame to Keith’s side in front of Hopper Hall.  
  
Keith took one look at his face and sighed. “It’s fine, we’ll make it work.”  
  
Beside him, the space wolf huffed, the sound somehow carrying great disappointment.  
  
They took two seats next to each other at one edge of the table. Takashi figured it would be more awkward if they didn’t sit next to each other, seeing as they were the first ones in the room, but he scooted his chair a respectable distance away.  
  
Keith rolled his eyes.  
  
Pidge and Matt were the next to arrive.  
  
Matt’s first action was to put his hands on the table next to Takashi, leaning in to study him. “Wow. Shiro told me, but I didn’t believe him. Nice hair. I’ve never thought about Shiro with long hair, but it looks good on you.”  
  
Takashi laughed and clasped Matt’s hand. “Thanks. It’s good to see you again’.”  
  
“Bring it in,” Matt said, pulling him in for a hug. His hands patted at Takashi’s shoulderblades. “Wow. You are just genetically inclined to get swole. I’m so jealous. I’ve been working out for years and I’m still just a muscly stick.”  
  
“Welcome to Earth,” Pidge said, giving him a hug when Matt drew back. Her eyes had a bit of a manic glint to them that left Takashi feeling wary.  
  
Matt noticed his discomfort and said, “Don’t mind her. She’s just dying to know what kind of differences you have from Shiro who is also in a clone body but has had a magical soul transplant. Something about advanced epigenetics.”  
  
“That can come later,” Pidge said with a too-sweet smile.  
  
“So what’ve you been up to?” Matt said.  
  
“Maybe wait until everyone else gets here,” Keith said to Takashi. “Unless you feel like repeating yourself every time.”  
  
“Fair point.” Matt swung himself into the chair by Takashi and leaned over to look at Keith. “Haven’t seen you in a while, either,” he said. “The last message we got from you was, what, a few months ago?”  
  
“What?” Pidge frowned. “I talked to him last week. And we all hung out yesterday.”  
  
Matt gasped in exaggerated offense. “Excuse me? Are you saying you talk to Pidge more than me?”  
  
Keith looked at him with what Takashi perceived to be genuine confusion. “Is that a surprise?”  
  
“Is? That? A? Surprise?”  
  
Takashi held back laughter as he watched them bicker. With all the things that they’d been through, it was hard to remember sometimes that they weren’t even thirty yet. This was probably the most he’d seen Keith act his age the whole time since they’d gotten back together.  
  
By the time Hunk and Lance arrived, Matt and Keith were grappling on the floor and Pidge was interrogating Takashi on the finer details of life on Valnexia that she figured no one else would be interested in hearing about.  
  
Lance shot finger guns at Takashi. “Dig the style.” Then he pointed them at Matt and Keith. “What are you doing.”  
  
“I am demanding respect as his elder,” Matt said from where he was pinned underneath Keith.  
  
“You’re only older than me because of time dilation,” Keith said. “And even then just barely.”  
  
“Also, I’m really not sure that’s working out for you,” Hunk said.  
  
“Yeah, no, it’s definitely not,” Matt wheezed as Keith dug a knee into his back. “Okay, I give, I give.”  
  
“You should probably try something other than a physical fight with Keith,” Hunk said. “Actually, anything other than a physical fight with Keith.”  
  
“Urgh,” Matt said as he dragged himself back to his chair.  
  
“It’s great to see you guys again,” Takashi said, greeting them with hugs as Keith sat back down. He looked barely ruffled.  
  
They had all just gotten themselves seated properly again when Shiro came in through the door. “Hey, everyone!”  
  
“How’s it hanging, Admiral?” Lance said.  
  
“It’s not bad.” Shiro’s eyes darted between Takashi and Keith. “Glad you could make it, Takashi.”  
  
“Thank you for the invitation.”  
  
Apparently the Garrison had sponsored a full course meal for them, which started coming out as soon as Shiro seated himself between Matt and Lance.  
  
The first course was spent mostly recapping Takashi’s life post-crash on Valnexia, with him carefully avoiding the topic of which Blades exactly came to the planet. Lance seemed curious about his role in getting the new flight school off the ground, so they spent the next course and a half discussing that.  
  
At some point, Takashi mentioned his connection to M’hille, which set Hunk and Pidge off on a tangent about Balmeran crystals. Apparently M’hille’s homeworld had interesting applications, and a completely different mining technique than the Alteans which Hunk had just begun investigating, and he jumped on Takashi’s offer of connecting him with M’hille.  
  
By the fourth course, conversation had completely moved from Takashi to Hunk’s studies, then to Pidge and Matt’s work on upgrading the Garrison fleet, to Lance’s work as a flight instructor on Earth, to Shiro’s work as admiral at the Garrison.  
  
It had gone so far that Takashi completely forgot that the conversation would eventually circle back around to Keith, and he was completely taken off guard when Pidge said, “So Keith, where were you before you came back to Earth for this?”  
  
“The Blades base,” Keith said.  
  
Pidge rolled her eyes. “I mean before that.”  
  
Takashi knew Keith could deflect and dodge all day, but he wouldn’t outright lie in response to a direct question. So it was with a strange sort of resignation that he watched Keith glance at him, then say “Valnexia” before shoving a bite of dessert into his mouth.  
  
“Valnexia?” Lance said. “Isn’t that where Takashi was?”  
  
“Wait,” Pidge said. “So you were the one who found Takashi? Why didn’t you say anything?”  
  
Keith looked longingly at his space wolf, munching gourmet meat in a corner of the room, and Takashi decided to intervene before he actually acted on the urge to disappear. “It was my fault. I didn’t want to make things awkward, so I asked him not to mention it.”  
  
“Um, why would it be awkward to mention Keith’s the one who found you?” Hunk said. “That seems pretty cool.”  
  
Everyone was staring at Takashi now. Takashi was staring at Shiro like a deer in headlights as a sort of tired realization settled on the other’s face. “I thought it would be awkward because we’re together.”  
  
“Together?” Lance repeated. “Like…”  
  
“We’re engaged,” Takashi blurted.  
  
“Congratulations,” Shiro said, breaking the stunned silence that had fallen over the others. “I’m happy for you. Both of you.” His tone was a little flat for his words.  
  
“Thank you,” Keith said quietly.  
  
“Well that’s good for you,” Lance said, “but I am not appeased. Were you ever gonna tell us about this?” He jabbed a finger accusingly at Keith, and Takashi swallowed hard. “You know how much I love weddings, what the quiznak! I have your color scheme picked out and everything! How long is the engagement? Do we have time to get flowers from New Altea?”  
  
“He has wedding binders,” Hunk said. “For everyone. It was a slow time in the lions.”  
  
“What?” Keith looked taken aback, but he recovered quickly. “No! No weddings.”  
  
“I think we were planning to get, uh, Galra married,” Takashi said.  
  
Keith gave him a confused look.  
  
“Does getting Galra married include weddings?” Pidge said.  
  
“No!”  
  
“Nuh-uh. No, sir,” Lance said. “Weddings are for us to celebrate you, okay? I promise, your mom’s gonna love it. We’re gonna get you married true Voltron style!”  
  
“What does that even mean,” Keith said.  
  
“I have to go,” Shiro said without preamble, and he left without saying goodbye.  
  
Another silence fell in his wake.  
  
“Maybe should’ve given him a moment before the wedding talk,” Matt said.  
  
“Why?” Pidge said, crossing her arms. “He was the one who got married first. I don’t see why he should get upset about Keith and Takashi.”  
  
“Guys,” Keith said. He had his scolding leader voice on, but it was weak.  
  
“She has a point,” Lance said.  
  
Takashi put a hand on Keith’s shoulder and stood. “I’ll go talk to him.”  
  
He frowned. “You sure?”  
  
“I’m sure.”  
  
Takashi was the one who got them into this whole mess. It only made sense for him to be the one to get them out of it.


	11. Chapter 11

Takashi wasn’t sure where Shiro went, but he caught sight of the door leading to the stairwell and followed his instincts up. Sure enough, he found Shiro laying behind one of the skylights, looking up into the sky. Takashi couldn’t see much of him, but the puff of white hair at the top of his head and the ethereal glow of his Altean arm were dead giveaways.  
  
Shiro didn’t look at him, but he seemed to know who it was anyways. “Here to rub it in?” he said.  
  
“Is that really what you think of me? Of yourself?” Takashi said, sitting down next to him. Shiro still wouldn’t look at him, and he wondered what was going through Shiro’s mind. Jealousy? Anger? Regret?  
  
Shiro’s tone contained was void of anything, a true Takashi Shirogane defensive technique, when he said, “I don’t know what to think, except that I said a lot of things to you that you didn’t deserve. I’m sorry about that.”  
  
“It’s fine. You already apologized for that,” Takashi said.  
  
“I apologized for how I said it,” Shiro said. “Not for what I said. When we argued the other day… were you upset for Keith?”  
  
“You really hurt him,” Takashi said. “Badly enough to make him leave.”  
  
“I didn’t mean to—”  
  
"It's not about what you meant to do or not," Takashi cut in. "It's about what you did. You would never hurt Keith, not intentionally. I know that. He knows that. It still hurt."  
  
“I know,” Shiro said quietly, and now his voice sounded like regret. “I wish I could take it back, but I think it’s too late for that.”  
  
“You don’t have to take it back,” Takashi said, because the blow had already been dealt, and Keith had already healed, and been left with scars. He didn’t need to hear regrets about the past. He needed assurances for the future. “You just have to tell him how you feel.”  
  
“You told me to do that before,” Shiro said. “But you’re already planning to marry him. How did you expect this all to…” He trailed off, looking as though he just thought of something, and frowned at Takashi. “You were going to break it off.”  
  
Takashi didn’t say anything, which was enough of a response for Shiro.  
  
“Why?” he said. “Even if you hadn’t said anything, I saw how you looked at each other tonight. You’re clearly—” he stumbled over the words. “You’re clearly in love.”  
  
“Because I know that he still loves you,” Takashi said. “Between the two of us, you’re the better choice for him, but I knew he wouldn’t do anything about it if we were together.”  
  
“I’ve been selfish with him,” Shiro admitted, and Takashi thought it was good that Shiro had that self-awareness, at least. “I talked to him when I could because I missed him, but it wasn’t fair to him, when I knew how he felt. I pushed him away to protect myself from losing him. I’m really not sure I’m the better choice here. I’m not sure I should even be a choice.”  
  
“Is that why you haven’t said anything?”  
  
“What is there to say?” Shiro rolled onto his side, facing Takashi. “Hey, Keith, sorry I broke your heart, but I realized I love you, so let’s just start over?”  
  
“He’d probably take that pretty well,” Takashi said. Shiro wouldn’t even have to apologize.  
  
“He shouldn’t,” Shiro said, flopping onto his back.  
  
“You can’t control him,” Takashi said. “You can’t control who he is, or what he wants, or who he loves. And he loves you.”  
  
“He loves you, too.”  
  
“He does.”  
  
Shiro turned his head to study Takashi for a while. Then he turned back to study the stars. “I’ve had a lot of heartbreak,” he said, “but it’s definitely something else to feel like you’re losing someone to yourself.”  
  
Takashi laughed. “How do you think I felt?” At Shiro’s confused look, he said, “When I was with Keith on Valnexia, there was a long time when I thought he was in a relationship with you. And I knew I wouldn’t have a chance against the original.”  
  
“Well, at least someone can benefit from me being an idiot about everything,” Shiro said. It wasn’t bitter, despite the words.  
  
“You’re only human,” Takashi said gently. “We’re all only human. We’re all going to make mistakes. It’s up to us to decide how we fix them.”  
  
“I don’t understand why you’re being so kind to me.”  
  
“Because you’re worth it.” Shiro was—well, he was Takashi, and Takashi couldn’t bear to see him in pain. He knew Keith wouldn’t be able to, either.  
  
Shiro made a disbelieving noise.  
  
“Listen. Shiro.” As strange as it was to be speaking to himself, it was even stranger to call himself by name. “Keith loves you. That’s not going to change. I don’t want that to change. We may be a little different on the outside, but who Keith loves is the person that we are on the inside. He loves me because he loves you.”  
  
“I’m not sure what you’re getting at,” Shiro said.  
  
“Tell Keith how you feel,” Takashi said. “Please. I’ve already told him, but he needs to hear it from you.”  
  
“What good will that do?” Shiro said. “I’m not going to be a homewrecker.”  
  
“You’re not wrecking anything,” Takashi said. “Especially if I’m the one inviting you to do it. I can’t just sit by and watch both of you suffer over this. I didn’t handle it well when you first told me. Let me try to fix it now.”  
  
Shiro continued to stare up at the night sky, the starlight reflecting in his eyes. He closed them after a moment. “Okay. I’ll talk to him.”  
  
\----  
  
By the time they returned to the dining room, everyone had already cleared out. Takashi knew himself well enough to know that if he let Shiro go now, he would make himself very painful to find later, so he all but dragged him back to Keith’s apartment.  
  
“I didn’t mean I was ready to talk to him now!” Shiro said.  
  
“You’re never going to be ready,” Takashi said, opening the door, “so just do it.”  
  
Keith was sitting on the couch with Vel and the space wolf, showing them something on his tablet. They all looked up as the door opened, and Keith’s eyes widened in shock. Vel just looked surprised.  
  
“Hi daddy,” she said. “Hi daddy number two.”  
  
Shiro looked between Takashi and Vel, a vaguely panicked expression on his face.  
  
“I thought I was number two,” Keith said.  
  
“No, you’re my daddy,” Vel said, confusion clear in her voice. “And daddy’s my daddy. But he’s not my daddy,” she added, pointing at Shiro. “He’s another copy of my daddy. So he’s daddy number two. And if there’s another copy, he’ll be daddy number three.” Her voice had an edge of _isn’t it obvious?_ but Keith’s eyes were crossing as he tried to follow the explanation.  
  
Takashi could sympathize. Child logic was so simple that it was very complicated at times.  
  
“Vel, why don’t you tell me about your dinner with grandma while we get ready for bed?” Takashi said, going to the couch to take her hand. “Let’s give daddy and daddy number two some time to talk.”  
  
Vel happily chattered about her evening with Krolia, during which Takashi realized that, like Keith, Krolia was very good at interacting with children. Vel seemed as drawn to her as she had been drawn to Keith at the beginning.  
  
But the presence of Shiro in their apartment didn’t escape her mind.  
  
“What's wrong with other-you?” Vel asked once they had finish washing up and he was tucking her into bed.  
  
There wasn’t a simple way to describe it, Takashi thought. It went beyond the fact that Shiro was in the midst of a divorce, and that he was in love with Keith. Shiro was lonely, in a sense—he had given too much of himself in the process of trying to love and be loved. What he needed was the unconditional love and support that he had lost when he had made Keith shutter a part of his heart to him.  
  
“He needs a family,” Takashi realized.  
  
“Doesn't he have one?” Vel said.  
  
“You mean his husband? They're not going to be together much longer, princess.”  
  
“Not that,” Vel said, like he was being silly.  
  
He didn’t get it. His family was long gone, something he had already told Vel in the past.  
  
She rolled her eyes at him cutely, but offense struck his heart like an arrow. She definitely picked that one up from Keith. “He's you, isn’t he? Aren't you your own family?”  
  
Takashi stared at her. She wasn’t wrong, exactly. He would, in fact, consider himself part of his own family. And he did consider Shiro to be mostly the same as himself. He decided to stop the train of thought there—once again, a simple sentence from Vel was going to end up too complicated to contain.  
  
“I guess you’re right,” he said. “So then would he be your family, too?”  
  
“He’s daddy number two,” Vel said, which probably made sense to her as an answer, but not so much to Takashi.  
  
“Right,” he said. “Well, I’ll make sure he knows that he always has us. Good night, princess. Love you.”  
  
“Love you, daddy.”  
  
He turned out the lights in her room on his way out.  
  
The common room lights were already dimmed, and no one was outside. He knocked lightly on the door to the other bedroom before opening it. Shiro and Keith were sitting on the bed, both with red eyes and damp faces. The space wolf was on some pillows in the corner of the room, respectfully giving them distance.  
  
Takashi took one look at their teary eyes before turning on his heel to fetch a box of tissues from the bathroom, which he set on the bed.  
  
“Did you tell him everything?” he said to Shiro.  
  
“I think so,” Shiro said. “Thank you for giving me the time.”  
  
He started to make to leave, and Takashi grabbed his upper arm and hauled him back down. “Stay.”  
  
“Takashi,” Keith said softly.  
  
“I told you before I wasn’t going to make you choose between us,” Takashi said. “And then I tried to make a choice for you. That wasn’t fair. So now I’m proving it to you.”  
  
“Proving what?” Shiro said, frowning at Takashi’s hand around his arm.  
  
Takashi let him go. “Proving that I’m not scared of the fact that he loves you. I think he can love us both, without loving either of us any less.” He glanced at Keith, who was looking at him with worried eyes. “I believe that. I believe you.” He turned back to Shiro. “So stay, if you want to. And if Keith wants you to,” he added, realizing he was assuming again.  
  
“I want you to,” Keith said.  
  
“Okay,” Shiro said, looking between them both. “Okay.”  
  
They slowly prepared for bed. Shiro didn’t have a change of clothes, so he just stripped down to his boxers, and Takashi did the same in solidarity. Keith guided Shiro to lay down on his side of the bed, and laid on his side, facing him. Takashi slid himself into the other side and curled himself around Keith in the middle. Shiro seemed uncertain about where to put his arm, clamping it stiffly to his side until Takashi reached over and gently pulled it around Keith’s waist.  
  
Keith tipped his head back, and Takashi knew what he wanted, leaning down to give him a long, bruising kiss.  
  
When they pulled apart, Shiro was watching them with heavy eyes, but he was silent for a long time. Finally he said, in a voice that was almost a whisper, “So where do we go from here?”  
  
There was so much to figure out—  
  
What it meant for his engagement to Keith, and whether or not M’hille and Pyrika’s ring would ever make it onto Keith’s finger;  
  
What it meant for Vel, and whether or not they would be adding a third father into the mix;  
  
What it meant for their plan to return to the Blades base;  
  
What it meant for their relationship in general, to have Takashi-and-Keith become Takashi-and-Keith-and-Shiro;  
  
And many, many more things that Takashi was sure would come up as the result of such a complicated arrangement.  
  
But it was nothing that couldn’t wait until later.  
  
“We’ll figure it out,” Keith said. “We don’t have to know everything at once.”  
  
“It’s going to be hard,” Shiro said, and in his voice was regret, and apology, and all the things that hurt to hear.  
   
Takashi touched his arm where it was strewn over Keith’s waist. “You’re worth it,” he said again, a reassurance.  
  
Shiro’s lips quirked. “How many times are you going to say that to me before this is over?”  
  
Takashi looked at Keith, and the glimmer in his eyes that said he knew what Takashi was going to say before he said it. This was their promise and their vow. Their commitment and their devotion.  
  
Takashi looked at Keith, and at Shiro, and at the complicated future they had laid out before them. He took Shiro’s hand and placed it over Keith’s on the bed, linking them all together as he said, “As many times as it takes.”  
  
And as the words came out, he knew—  
  
This was a promise he was going to keep.

  
\----  
  


  
[art by LovTitania](https://twitter.com/LovTitania/status/1089057749667704832)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’ve finally reached the end!
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who read and supported me along the way! (And special shoutout to ThirteenHours who came in at the beginning not knowing what to expect and followed me all the way to the end of this winding, twisty road.) I was hesitant to post this for many reasons, and words cannot express how grateful I am for everyone’s kindness and encouragement!
> 
> Come talk to me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ailurea) if you’d like! Otherwise, I’ll see you on the other side of Season 8!
> 
> Like Takashi, Keith, and Shiro, fandom may be messy at times, but we’re here for each other, and that love and support can get us through anything. ♥


End file.
